To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/06/14 23:44
Subject: [K-list] betting on judgements
From: lavinaleone
On 2002/06/14 23:44, lavinaleone posted thus to the K-list:
Hello,
The subject line of another list member got me to thinking,
I don't have anything to offer on the subject at hand but
my mind went off in this direction, and I wanted to throw
this out to the group anyway.
Some time ago I made the mistake of disagreeing with
someone about whether or not there was such a thing as
judgment (from a higher power) I figured there must be.He
insisted that judgment and punishment came from ourselves.
He explained it to me in such a way that I *think* he said
something like: What ever it is we believe to be good or bad
IS good and bad. Our conscious (spirit or whatever) is the
judge and jury of how we use our free will. When we so
something that our conscious believes to be bad it somehow
draws on some mystical energy and creates situations that bend
you back to what is right, right at least for the conscious.
& if you are God then isn't that what matters*
Not being one to enjoy punishment much I argued the point withhim
that I would not punish myself. He offered up a wager to me
that I was sure I was going to win. When we are 50 we have a
date to meet to see who wins.
IF things do not make a big shift in the next few years I am going to
be out my 10 bucks.
It has been an educating experience right from the get go. My
education has come with a few unexpected surprises.
Almost immediately things that "I" had judged about others began
to manifest in my own life.
I also started noticing that people were showing up in my life
that had absolutely no regard for what "I" considered moral behavior.
What was eye opening in this respect was that these people did not
seem to suffer consequences for their behavior, or at least not to
the extent that one (read 'I') would expect.
As to my own behavior? I don't think I actually changed much, at first
anyway. What did change was the universes behavior towards me.
*at least it seemed to. As if asking the question was enough to make
it so. I didn't accept the idea, but neither did I reject it.*
Weird stuff started happening, maybe I just never noticed it before?,
like within a short time of my 'judging' others, I would in
circumstances that placed me in a position of having to
make similar choices, of which, the very choice I had judged as bad
being the better of my choices. And then, indeed, I would be
punished for having made such a choice, more often than not as I look
back I see that I have suffered consequences that others did not for
the same choices, what is up with that?
I am not so nieve as to *think* everything has to be fair, but I
really did expect it to be so, I guess, because I got really mad
about how unfair things were!
*I am pretty much over it, but fall into victimhood sometimes still*
hmmmmm.
If the universe does not have some code of ethics, which is becoming
increasingly obvious that it does not, at least not one that is
universally acted on. Then perhaps it IS my own consciousness that
judges my actions, and draws upon its own ethics, and dishes out the
consequences according to my own moral code.?
(that sucks - and it doesn't, I guess, maybe, if I ever get a grip on
the system it might be okay. but right now, it sucks)
At the risk : ) of creating more bad karma I would like to say that I
don't think of myself as a bad person, I try to live by the golden
rule, I follow most all of the rules and laws of my community, Before
having made this silly bet I did a whole lot more 'bad' stuff and
suffered fewer consequenses. Now even my bad list has been
reduced considerably, mostly because I am a little leery these days
of labeling stuff as bad,.
admittedly a fear driven decision. I have good reason to be fearful,
I can't think of much I haven't judged. And some I have been very
judgemental about. Those sore spots are not places I think I want to
venture into.
*sometimes I get to worrying about these things and at those times,
like right now, I take a second to forgive myself, I did not used to
do the forgiving, it is a new thing I have been trying for a few
months, not sure what the long term affect will be, maybe just
believing it will help is enough. It does help in_ the_ moment.
Another friend told me her theory that kind of goes along, I think,
in a round about sort of way:
She says that we are all little gods, trying to graduate to big Gods.
Nothing is really bad or good. All experiences need to be experienced
by each of us if we are going to be God. *How else would we be able
to be handle our own beloved creations when we create them?* All of
us will be murderers, all of us will be murdered. All will rape
and be raped. We will all be the best of parents and the worst of
parents. We will experience being the children of rapists and the
loved ones of murderers. The list is as long as our imaginations
reach, whatever we contemplate, we all will experience.
She believes that the 'second coming' is really when we all have
exhausted our inquisitiveness about what we are capable of, and have
found what brings us bliss and how to sustain it and then we will all
be big God, with no need for the experimentation we now experience.
*Seems to me like it might be a fair enough way to graduate to God
hood. (if all things were fair). and Surely we would learn compassion
having walked in everyone's shoes, and them in ours. heaven help us
all !. It is also her theory that you can tell who? has experienced
what ? by clues like their compassion. i.e., those who can love the
murderer, as well as the victim. or by their lack of interest in
something, a 'been there done that' sort of thing.
The loss of a ten dollar bet won't break me. *Yes, I am pretty sure
I am going to have to pay up. which I guess means I have sealed my
own fate already? ; )* The education has been very enlightening,
and more costly than the wager ! but worth it also. No regrets.
BTW my friend heard the theory from an uncle. Waiting until we were
50 seemed like a good age, an OLD age. I personally thought I would
be very wise by then. I'm glad I didn't bet on it.
Blessings,
Lavina
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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