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To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/05/25 21:17
Subject: [K-list] Fuzzy
From: A.S.A.

On 2002/05/25 21:17, A.S.A.posted thus to the K-list:

Hello,

Just had my friend Hannes for visit (we were in a relationship for about a year or so..), I have talked to him and told him I want to be his friend right now.. Cause I feel he is attached to me and that makes my body go crazy when I'm with him, and when I tell him what I feel, I don't know if he understands me.. Guess he really try to..
I feel so tense and stressed when I'm around him and it feels like he wants something from me all the time.. and if were not intimate.. he feels so insecure.. its like he is following me and can't do anything for himself.. He actually told me he was waiting for me to have sex with him.. I have told him no I don't want to have sex with you, and he thinks I have to work with myself? Cause he knows I love him.. but unconditional love.. I have also tried to explain that, but I don't know if he really understands me.. He thinks its weird when I say that I say I don't feel attached to him..
 When I'm around him I feel totally disturbed even if I try to detach myself I still get his restless energy into my body. I feel totally crazy.. and his insecurity becomes my insecurity. Don't know what to do.. Maybe we shouldnt see eachother at the moment.

He left this morning when I was asleep.. Guess he didn't know what to do, cause I went to bed about 23.oo (11) yesterday and now it's 6 in the morning.. and he went to sleep about 17.00 (5) so he has slept well.. Guess I might have sounded a bit cranky when he tried to wake me up 4 in the morning by drumming at the table..
Maybe he was pissed and just left..
Well, I'll try to call him later and ask what he feels and why he left.

*sigh*
I think I'll try to get some sleep now.. or do some stretching.. still feel tense..

Love,
A.S.A.



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