To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/05/17 18:01
Subject: Re: [K-list] boundaries
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2002/05/17 18:01, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 01:24 PM 17/05/02, Laura wrote:
>hey MAS! i know you freed me from indebtedness by your self-serving motive
>of enjoyment :) but i do have to say that this awesome post really helped me
>become self-aware of the power chakra landscape and my tools, and i had some
>sort of wonderful, gentle entity/karma clearing and healing just from
>studying what you wrote. grace of god-dess and my readiness to understand,
>combined with your descriptive offering. thanks. it took a big knot out of
>my solar plexus. relief. felt your presence in spirit form when it happened,
>tho i am generally hesitant to say such things, chalk it up to projection.
It is as I described:
> For example, in my empathic work, I write from the Witness. I accept
>the projection of need/savior and karmic gunk enough to get a perspective
>on it that I can share, that hopefully will be what the ego needs to hear,
>to release the issue.
>
> When I come back to my body, sometimes it is thrashed! I have not been
>in it to feel its boundaries being broken, but I sometimes return to a body
>that is clouded with other people's issues. I have not been aware of broken
>boundaries of the body, when I am not in it.. but its boundaries have been
>broken anyhow and I need to do the work to clear it, become whole and
>sovereign in myself again.
>
> As a result, I am discerning in who I choose to counsel... listening to
>the body before I leave it, to get a sense of whether the person I am
>considering working with, is really ready to let go of the stuff... if they
>are not, then it does not matter what I say, I will end up taking on stuff
>I cannot release from myself because it is not mine and the owner chooses
>not to let it go... and end up feeling thrashed.
.. and probably end up telling them to fuck off to break the connection
and clear them from me.. :) Did not feel thrashed from you, you were ready
and receptive so the connection was a delight. You inspired me! I told your
ego what it needed to hear to let go, and the result was that surprising
essay. There was a bit of my spewing in there too, but the creation is
ongoing... :)
Yet... writing to a list is projecting energy, information. Especially
if the essay is inspired, it is embedded with Shakti and that triggers
stuff in people I was not consciously reflecting. Since the post was sent,
I have been moved to go back and re-read my own writing about a dozen
times, to resolve some confusion projected from other members... sending
out more energy. Handling questions telepathically. No biggie. You are an
FST1 grad, so I was able to speak of some concepts like the Mirror and you
understood me, others may not.
I am motivated to write on this topic, because the exploration is a
major theme for FST2, which I am working on manifesting, at present. I had
been a little stuck on expressing these ideas... I do teach best, what I
most need to know.
>yes, yes, yes, this has been a paradox i have gotten confused about and am
>now trying to hold together, not cognitively, but as a survival and thriving
>need and practice, since i am both at the same time, wherever i place my
>attention. holding respect for tension within form and the "rules" of being
>in duality, but also abiding in formlessness and letting that guide me.
Yes! Being infinite, watching yourself interact in duality-space. It is
hard to explain... the Witness is out of body, yet when spirit comes down
into the body you can be witness and active/emotional both at once. Spirit
having a human experience while not forgetting the Truth of its own nature.
>think i understand what you are saying about the tension between heart and
>power chakra, but it is going to take some experimentation and practice to
>learn how to walk and listen this way.
You have to know what it feels like to be sovereign in yourself, and
get to know the feeling well enough to notice what is different, when you
are not. You have spent most of your life being a vessel of projections, so
give yourself plenty of time and forgiveness, in getting the hang of this.
When the body is clear, the signals from the power chakra are loud...
when it is not clear, they get lost in the noise.
I have been doing some work with an amazing healer who has given me
some puzzle pieces that have really helped me to remain sovereign. I asked
her specifically about the empathy problem, and she told me it took her
many years to really get free of it. It is a discipline.
One powerful tool she gave me, is this affirmation:
"I resolve to use only my own energy, especially in a social situation."
No vamping, no projections, no accepting projections.
That makes for a really good reset when you notice yourself getting
pulled in. Because of her, the grounding will also get some changes for the
first time in many years. The pink bubble at the end, always was an
afterthought... people wanted it. It will be replaced by an affirmation of
Yvette's
"I reset my four fields to their proper size and shape."
Referring to the four energy bodies. Try it, it gives a nice lift.
She also got me back into using the violet flame... the tummo fire and
the grail are more effective, and autopilot... but the violet flame usually
is very effective in burning away the karmic lint of daily social
interactions. The violet flame is associated with Saint Germaine so it is
nice to ask him to oversee the cleansing. The support is there for the
asking. Thank him too.
Get grounded, then imagine the upflowing Earth energy turns to a violet
fiery colour, and let it fill you and burn off the duality. Violet is the
colour of the crown chakra, so the Divine wisdom burns off the illusion
stuff. I find it does not work for everything, which is why I stopped using
it regularly.. but it is dandy for a quick full body cleanse.
> > The power chakra is also the level of dreams, and of the astral >and
> >energy based worlds where the winner/loser games are played out.
>
>i never thought of dreams that way. makes much sense.
Dreams.. and the illusion of reality. The worlds ego creates. Why do we
call this process "awakening?"
>i know you have many many projects, but have you ever thought of writing a
>book on the different chakra dimensions?? maybe i will do it in poetic form
>when i can see them more, since it would be such a helpful navigation guide.
I move between the chakras so automatically, that it is a real effort
to stay in one long enough to write about it. There are so many books on
chakras around already... I don't feel I have much to add.
The lower chakras really tend to get a bad rap... people assume
"lower" means "inferior" when it is really only a description of relative
location. Especially the power chakra and the second chakra. The second
chakra holds all that stuff that makes life worth living, emotions and
relationships. The power chakra is life energy itself. How Divine will
appears in duality, in the body.
> > I carry my conscience in my power chakra. That is where it lives. >The
> >higher chakras don't have any of this boundary stuff, karma or >sin... they
> >may have blockages, but the blockages stem from the power >chakra stuff of
> >free will and divine will... ego.
>
>thus the importance of holding the tension and decending back through to
>abide in my ownmost embodiment!! wow, how beautiful and holistic.
Yes, it is very elegant how the systems work together. Another thing I
have noticed, is how the condition of the power chakra relates to the
wings. A healthy human energy body is winged, and the wings are secondary
chakras coming off the heart. The wings are the key to freedom. They are
the kind of love that is live and let live. Not needing to judge or change
what someone else does, but also being free to walk away from people and
situations that you choose not to experience... which is also the condition
of a well filled energy body.
Tension... perhaps a better word is balance. The middle path.
The Thelemites have a phrase, "Love is the law, love under will."...
which means, the Law is to love in alignment with Dharma. Divine will.
We all have felt uncomfortable situations where someone (Mothers
especially!) will be speaking to you in their love language... which might
be criticizing everything from your hair to your dates, as a way of
supporting you in becoming a "better" person... but to the recipient it
just feels like crap projections. So much of what is called "love" is
projected limiting beliefs... and it is the power chakra that has the
discernment to choose to love well... it will let you know if the impulse
to love is karma or dharma.
So much of the typical new age white lighter stuff of sending love and
light to everybody is very karma producing. If you think someone needs your
love and light, then you are projecting that they are in need... not seeing
them as fully capable of generating their own love and light, as well as
projecting your unique definition of what that means, onto them. Love
languages are unique. The heart will not tell you that, but the power
chakra will.
> > If you are only working from the heart, then you will end up
> >crucified... and crucifying. In the heart there are not boundaries of >I
> >and Thou. On that level, life is illusion anyhow so who cares if >you get
> >crucified? LOL!! Probably you do... :) On the power chakra >level. Honour
> >that.
>
>yeah, i almost got wiped out by not seeing this, but if i didn't go there, i
>might not have learned that i was not effectively supporting myself. live
>and learn.
We just keep growing... :)
Let go of the concept of learning... I know, that is how it feels but
is the value really in what you are learning, or what you are letting go of?
Somewhere along the line, probably in early childhood, you "learned"
that you have to be self sacrificing, and give yourself away to what others
wanted of you. You were told that was a properly spiritual and kind,
ladylike way to be... Now you have realized it is not true, it is so very
not true that the result of your efforts to be like that has sabotaged your
body, your instincts and your relationships.
When the cultural conditioning lets go, the body gets reset back to
factory settings... how the energy was meant to flow, before ego got the
idea it had learned something. Experiences just Are.
>lol!!! wiping tears too.
>
>thank you for your words of support. that has been a fairly rare experience
>over the history of my life, to be affirmed. this was a healing experience
>for me. i like to notice and give thanks when it happens.
You are so hard on yourself! : ) You underestimate your Grace, you
know... I have been wondering why, and now you have told me. I think that
you are so strong, beautiful and wise that people assume you must already
know it... :) They try to tell you something you don't know instead... ;)
Try to shirk you to what they feel they are worth knowing.
You need to get your affirmation cup topped up so you can feel what it
is like to have the need met, and get past it...
So... I am asking the list to write to Laura, and tell her all the good
things you have noticed about her. Not idle flattery! Genuine appreciation.
Send it to the list or privately... this silly, lovely woman has no idea
how radiant she is...
Blessings!
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