To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/05/17 11:21
Subject: [K-list] Re: Do I matter
From: lionessbleu1
On 2002/05/17 11:21, lionessbleu1 posted thus to the K-list:
Charles,
You ask questions that almost all of us have asked ourselves one time
or another. It is also not unusual for this line of questioning to
arise in kundalites. It is a natural process.
Most everyone is afraid of love or being love or feeling
love...because it feels like an unnatural state. Somewhere, somehow
we learned to feel separate from all that is, to forget our true
nature, being and expressing Love, our Essence, our Oneness with All.
Maybe what your aspirations are...are the same as what moves you...to
see and feel Love. What you choose to do with your life is just a
manifestation, a vehicle for who you are.
Feeling disconnected is usually a first chakra issue. Do you find
yourself walking into things or feeling like people don't notice you,
like you are invisible? It could also be a crown chakra issue too but
the feelings you describe don't seem to fit that center. You are not
anchored into your body or into the earth. We are also touching on
heart chakra issues...the inability to receive or ask for love....
I don't have time to really go into this deeply...busy, so busy...
but I just wanted you to know the little than I can tell you right
now. You are not alone. If you focus on what you want...not what you
don't want...you will manifest more of what you want in your life.
Unfortuantely, people don't know what they want in life and describe
what they want in their life by what they don't want. So what happens?
They continually end up creating more of what they don't
want...loveless situations, separateness, etc.
If it is too hard to create a list of what you do want, take the list
of things below that manifest and transform it into a list of what
you do want. That would be a beginning for you, to learn to describe
your life and desires in the positive, not the negative.
Susan
PS. You are infinitely and permanently connected to your Self and
others...you just forgot. There is nothing that can separate you from
Source for you are the Source. Just like we all are.
--- In Kundalini-GatewayATnospamy..., "Charles Portugal" <charliepATnospamc...>
wrote:
> I dont want to write for long cos Ive been sitting at my desk since
5.30 this morning
> trying to understand myself!!! Talking to my friend and writing
emails to you! Ive come to the
> conclusion that Ive been stuck with the idea that 'I dont
matter'... its a big realisation
> for me and has its roots in all sorts of places, some esoteric and
some just plain judgemental.
> To name a few:
> My parents never made me feel like I mattered.
> My parents seem to think they matter more than others.
> Ive never been able to accept compliments, presents,........ LOVE.
> How can 'I' matter???? Who am 'I'
> I really dont know who this 'I' is!
> I never have.
> I dont know what my aspirations are and never have.
> I know what moves me..... to see Love.... but to feel it scares me.
> I feel a bit lost but I suppose thats the place where I can start
to find myself.
> I dont identify with separation between people, yet I feel lonely
and always have.
> I push people away who offer me love... who show that they care
about me.
> I can see it all now.... and I dont know what to do about it.
> How does this relate to the chakras model?
> I really feel disconnected from me.
> How do I connect with me?
> Charles
>
>
>
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