To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/05/16 15:07
Subject: Re: [K-list] boundaries
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2002/05/16 15:07, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 09:46 AM 16/05/02, Laura wrote:
>Hi Mystress and list,
Hi Laura!
>what you said about sensitivity to projections strongly reverberated with
>me. lately i have been working on developing strong boundaries and
>groundedness to fortify so that i can protect myself from the constant
>chameleoning and then struggling to dig myself out of the mire of
>identification to simply arrive back at my own clarity of self.
Ya said it! :)
Kundalini most often first goes up, then goes down. FST1 is the route
upwards... moving out of the false ego boundaries to experience unity with
All... it is an important part of the path, especially the growth that
comes of looking in the mirror, and embracing All as a part/reflection of
the Self.
The chakras open part way on the way up, but open much more fully on the
way down. The path back down, is the harder part, in my opinion and
experience, and a lot of people skip that part... assuming identification
with the All is the attainment of the goal. It is not... it is simply
another phase. We can go out of the body to experience boundarilessness and
expand consciousness... but staying there permanently is immature, and
eventually will lead to the body breaking down if you spend too much time
out of it... the goal is to clear the vessel so spirit merges with the
physical. Easy for Moses to go up the mountain to get the books of the
Law.. much harder to come back to the masses and apply them to daily life.
The very stones were broken when he came back down and had a lot of
judgments about what his people had gotten up to in his absence. We do that
too, as individuals when we judge ourselves for not living up to the
potentials we glimpsed in visits to the All.
From the higher chakra, or the heart, I am All and I am you... so, if I
like to listen to Elvis Costello really loud late at night, then my
neighbors must like it too, because they are me? Doesn't fly... it is a
projection, and the karmic feedback will be painful.
Each chakra is a universe, and the laws of that universe must be
respected... Finding the middle path between the unity of the upper chakras
and the individuality and free will issues of the lower chakras is the
greatest challenge. The tension and balance between the heart and the power
chakra must be found, and when the balance is present, there is grace and
alchemy. Transmutation. It takes some practice in discernment to walk the
middle path of being true to yourself, without projecting your truth onto
others. (Unless they ask, as you have done. Consensual.)
On the way up we cultivate out of body states, like the Witness so we
may get a bigger perspective on events in our lives, and how our own
actions influence what we get back. Get out of the false ego boundaries so
we can see the forest for the trees. In the Witness, there is no sense of
boundaries, but the body is very aware of its boundaries, and it is only
when you are fully in your body and centered, that you can find a sense of
those boundaries to be aware of when they are being broken.
It takes a clearing process, of releasing fear from the body for the
body's true power and instincts for boundaries to be revealed. You cannot
be true to yourself unless you are in touch with your Self. The fear
reactions of the ego are reactions to false boundaries being broken, and
getting into the Witness helps to see outside that box and make different
choices.
That is the process of clearing the body... but you cannot heal the
physical from the spiritual. Get the insights from the witness, then come
back into the body and let the insights give you stability, to ride out the
emotional release process without needing to act on it. When that has
passed, in the silence there is the Zen of knowing what is Right action.
When ego is gone, and the spirit comes down to reside in the cleared body,
then you can have the clarity to hear the voice of the body's true
instincts for how energy is being exchanged. The gut feelings of the power
chakra.
For example, in my empathic work, I write from the Witness. I accept
the projection of need/savior and karmic gunk enough to get a perspective
on it that I can share, that hopefully will be what the ego needs to hear,
to release the issue.
When I come back to my body, sometimes it is thrashed! I have not been
in it to feel its boundaries being broken, but I sometimes return to a body
that is clouded with other people's issues. I have not been aware of broken
boundaries of the body, when I am not in it.. but its boundaries have been
broken anyhow and I need to do the work to clear it, become whole and
sovereign in myself again.
As a result, I am discerning in who I choose to counsel... listening to
the body before I leave it, to get a sense of whether the person I am
considering working with, is really ready to let go of the stuff... if they
are not, then it does not matter what I say, I will end up taking on stuff
I cannot release from myself because it is not mine and the owner chooses
not to let it go... and end up feeling thrashed.
They are the God of their own lives, and I know this... so truly they
need nothing from me and it is better for me to not get involved if they
are attached to keeping the game. Whether they know about their Divinity
and power or not, it is still Truth... and kind of irrelevant. They are God
for themselves and it serves me best to keep my nose in my navel and mind
my own business. Thinking someone needs "help" is negative projection #1.
That is what prompted my *consciously* rude response to Jesse's intro.
Sending back a projection he was unaware of making... it is a very classic
example. Easy to fall into, and many do... from Christians wanting everyone
to be Christian, to the Boddhisattva vow of wanting all to be "Saved". It
is just not the same game as seeing perfection in what Is.
My comments were a reflection of kindly spoken rudeness I saw in Jesse's
intros. Rudeness disguised as kindness by ego. Shadow at work. Levels of
rudeness that were not conscious... but rather repressed shadow stuff. He
lives in the heart, but does not see what his power chakra is up to. All
hierarchy games take place in the astral realms of the power chakra. My
reflection of it was very conscious...
He wrote:
> I hope that my knowledge and skills will be of use and help to all on
> this list.
>My spirit name is Bre-ev Jahndar. It means "Bringer of Choices"
In order to think someone needs help, you must first see them as
helpless, needy. "Help to all"... he assumes we are all needy? Projects
that we are all needy... That is not the same as seeing the Divine
Perfection that is the truth of who we are.
Projecting need is a power game. You see it in advertising all the
time, advertisers seek to create need, and even insecurity because if you
have something someone thinks they need, then you have power over them. You
have some control, the carrot dangling. So they project that you are not
good enough unless your teeth are white like icebergs and your car has a
vibe and you drink coke, and that all these things can be attained through
you giving them your power and life energy in the convenient exchange form
we have invented that we call money.
The Bringer of choices is a limiter of choices. Relate to him as savior
or not at all... Been there done that too... a pedestal can feel very safe
but it comes with a price of isolation.
In a space with people who are not needy... he would lose his name and
become nameless... something many of us would recognise as a profound
spiritual evolution, that cannot occur when there is still an
identification with labels and titles.
He cannot bring choices to someone who already knows their power, and
Spirit already knows everything. On a soul level, we know all there is to
know, so why would spirit choose a name that is a lie? He calls "Bringer of
Choices" a spirit name, but it is obviously ego. This is a massive
conceit, and that it was framed by an ego pose of humility (asking us to
believe that his ego is not ego) simply makes it a bigger lie. Do you feel
respected when people lie to you? When they patronize you by projecting
helplessness and neediness onto you? Likely you would find such people very
rude. I did... and sent it back.
It is a feeling. Bzzzzz in my gut, Priestess instinct. Wolf senses to
smell truth from fear. Certainly, I felt the love in his heart too... but
it was less than his attachment to his control game.
He seems primarily interested in looking for people who will accept his
"savior helper hero" game... and that can be a fine game.. we are playing
it here... but stated as he did, it is a negative projection. He is on the
hero pedestal and we are all in need of his help. Ack! Have it back, return
to sender but in plainer language that does not lie, or pretend to be
humble and kind.
Silverstar saw herself as being in need, so she accepted the
projection, and played the hero/victim game Jesse promotes. Found value in
it, Good... Goddess does not judge us for how we choose to exchange
power... I can bind and bruise someone and there is no karma if they ask me
to do it... no karma in a Zen whack... but a non consensual exchange makes
karma. He maintains his hero pedestal by filtering for people who will
support it.
The control games of the power chakra make karma, when they are not
consensual. When they are consensual, there is the power of teamwork to
make miracles. Where two or more are gathered, and aligned as One. One ox
can pull 1000 pounds, but two oxen can pull 5000 pounds.
The energy of the infinite is infinite... and so on the level of the
infinite, I can host/be a vessel, or channel for a fountain of Shakti like
the grounding page, and not be affected by how people make use of it. It
does not connect to my personal life energy or my day to day self. It is
utterly surrendered, Goddess has it handled. It does not affect my personal
Chi or prana... so I can be having a bad hair day and the grounding is not
affected, nor am I affected by the karma people release there.
Chi and Shakti are different. Chi responds to free will. On body level,
the power chakra is all about the movement of chi between people. The
unconscious control games people use to try to feed on each other's energy
were well described by the Celestine prophecies... and are a staple of many
other self help programs that divide people into 4 basic types. When people
who are not connected to source, try to feed themselves by energy
vampirism, aggressive or passive aggressive you get power chakra control
dramas and karma. The more you stay focused inward, in keeping your own
personal energy levels clear and flowing, the less you are pulled into the
control games. To thine own self be true.
When the energy exchange is not consensual... when it is ego based, the
result is karma, loss of energy. Compassion is valuable, but even more
valuable is to recognise that most acts of compassion are really self
serving. Looking for the hidden motives behind the appearance of "helping"
and "selflessness" is an important key to really learning your own secret
power games.
I saw Jesse's projection and did not accept it... but I did agree to
play... my own way, as guardian of the List space. I am pretty well tuned
to the group mind of the list, and I know I was not the only one who got a
body bzzzz of disrespected boundaries in Jesse's intros. That Jesse was
very invested in how he wants to be seen, yet had obviously not bothered to
read the list guidelines which express the list boundaries and community
choices was what moved me to act.
It is a simple thing... when visiting a foreign country, it is good
manners to know something of the customs, so as to not offend. When
visiting a club, or a temple or even a friend's home, one likes to know the
basic household rules... no smoking inside, that chair is the cat's
favorite, please take your shoes off at the door. These are the simple
social graces that lubricate society. Nothing fancy, just simple good
manners I would reasonably expect of anyone, certainly anyone who has set
themselves on a pedestal as model, healer, teacher or guide.
My expectations are my problem, certainly, but are they unreasonable?
Many new members do not bother to read the list guidelines, and with most
of them I let it go. With those who have put selves on a pedestal above the
rest, especially if it is a "most spiritual humble helper" pedestal...
target practice is irresistible and I make no apologies for being true to
my nature.
The post was much, much ruder when first written, but it sat in my
outbox for a few days getting watered down and looking for humour. The Zen
stuck whack was not improved by the effort at velvet gloves... :) Yet,
that too was Zen perfection, because it is exactly what he was doing. A
projectile perfumed and gift wrapped, is still a projectile. Would you like
your bullets scented with lilacs? Shall the hangman's noose be wrapped in
silk? Is passive aggression better than overt aggression?
The ultimate pacifist, Gandhi wrote:
"It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to
put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence."
That would be his vote for conscious aggression VS. passive
aggression. It is a call to own the violence within you. If you do not own
it, then it slips past you, comes out unconsciously. I would rather be
rude, than a liar. I do not pretend to be humble or impotent. It is not
truth. My playing at being humble is a more effective power game than my
being openly arrogant, because it is sneaky, people do not think to defend
against it. Wolf in sheeps clothes.
Power games, are of the power chakra, and that is where the discernment
of boundaries comes from. We ascend the chakras to break free of the false
ego boundaries, but then we have to come back to the body and follow the
guidance of instincts, to learn to respect our true human boundaries.
The power chakra has several important aspects, and they all relate to
each other. First, it is the chakra of free will and divine will... and so
it is fed by the energy of gratitude, which is a powerful kind of
surrender. Most karmic stuff will transmute as soon as you can manage to be
genuinely grateful for it. Gratitude is the opposite of fear and
resistance. The heart opens to love, the power chakra responds to
gratitude. Count your blessings, feed your power chakra.
The power chakra is also placed at the diaphragm, because it is about
the breath of life... chi, prana. Chi is not shakti, it responds to the
power of free will that is ego. If your chi is abundant and your power
chakra is open then you do not get so easily drawn into the projections.
You do not feel a need to play the games yourself... you need nothing, and
can choose to walk away. That is the "enlightenment" given by the non-K.
based spiritual paths like Tai chi.
Feed the power chakra by breathing. Deep slow belly breaths that go
right into the Earth and make you more firmly centered in yourself. Karma,
essentially is prana that is frozen into form, a fear or limiting belief
that becomes a blockage to the flow of life energy. The power chakra
carries those issues, so it responds. Fear is not faith, and that brings us
back to its primary issue of free will and divine will.
I am not sure if I am being clear... do you see how these things flow
together? I am trying to describe something that is *felt*. The middle path
of walking between the worlds, maintaining a balance between the hearts
unity universe and the power chakra sensitivity and respect for the
boundaries of the physical/ energy worlds. I am enjoying the challenge, so
I'll keep at it... :) (Note that my admission of self serving motives
frees you from indebtedness...)
The power chakra is also the level of dreams, and of the astral and
energy based worlds where the winner/loser games are played out. Heroes and
victims, saviors and seekers, abusers and abused. You can always recognise
when someone is caught in an astral game, by the win/lose quality of it.
Separation into heroes and bad guys.
Jesse wants to help us all, Aaron wants to change me instead of
himself. Cat asks, "Where is my delusion?" The answer, from Madge the
manicurist: "You're soaking in it." Cat believes she has no choice... so
shall Jesse bring her choices? No, the lack of choices is part of the
illusion, that she is least willing to surrender. She has made her choice,
in what beliefs she chooses to give power to. God-dess Cleocatra wants to
play a game of fear and limitations... what God wants, God gets and who can
judge it? Goddess does not judge.
On the level of the astral, you can use free will to draw a boundary of
energy to keep out ghosts, and it will work. The power chakra is all about
that. Boundaries. The struggle for life energy that is all through nature.
Goddess supports every bird's right to defend its nest and every plant is
in a competition for resources, sunlight earth and water. There is no karma
in it, because nature is being true to its nature. Life eats life. It is
only humans, who have an ego to make karma with. Animals do not lose touch
with the voice of instinct that is Zen. Back to the Gandhi quote. Are lions
violent? When there is a call to violence from instincts, then they are
violent. The rest of the time they are the laziest creatures... much less
violent than the preacher who wants to "save" you.
Clear the ego based fear reactions out of the power chakra, with
surrender. Keep it well topped up by breathing, staying grounded and
applying gratitude, and you get laser discernment and the alchemy of
transmutation. Energy is energy, and all of it food. Give thanks, say grace
and chow down. Power chakra is also at the stomach, eh? Free will to decide
if the projections are food or poison.
Actions of your own that are projections that will stir up karmic
feedback will proke a response in the power chakra. That which is not
"Right action" or Dharma will make the power chakra contract, with a
feeling of tension or constriction. The karma feedback is immediate,
through time and you can use it for navigation. Just try it... think of
doing something nasty to someone and feel the power chakra responding in
advance to the karma such an act would bring to you.
Think of yourself as someone's victim, think of how it feels when you
get carried off in someone's projections... note the power chakra reaction
to even the thought of giving your power away like that. The more you turn
inward and keep your eye on the power chakra, the more you will become
aware of the truth of your pwoer of free will. You will realize that each
time you give your power away, it is because you made a choice to ignore
that guidance. You made something more important than heeding that power
chakra bzzzz alarm reminding you of what occurs when you are not being true
to yourself.
I carry my conscience in my power chakra. That is where it lives. The
higher chakras don't have any of this boundary stuff, karma or sin... they
may have blockages, but the blockages stem from the power chakra stuff of
free will and divine will... ego.
Projections from other people will set off a tiny alarm bell of
disrespected boundaries. This is a subtly different effect from a gut
reaction of fear. Sort them out by asking yourself "What am I afraid of?
What do I want? Where do I feel disrespected? Where am I giving my power
away? What do I expect?" The answers are all about you, and when they are
cleared, there can only be "right action" .. which will often be, no action
at all...
If you are only working from the heart, then you will end up
crucified... and crucifying. In the heart there are not boundaries of I and
Thou. On that level, life is illusion anyhow so who cares if you get
crucified? LOL!! Probably you do... :) On the power chakra level. Honour that.
>i do know that god-dess has it handled because i have noticed, asked, and
>consented to growing in this way. but any advice or wisdom or shared stories
>anyone??
>
>all growing pains and awkwardness,
>
>post-pubescently,
>laura
There are some stories... but it really feels to me, like you are in
great shape. If anything, it might help to make peace with your feminine
sensitivity and receptivity. It is a gift, and your resistance to that is
part of the cause of difficulty. It is like your fem side wants to make
love to everybody and your male side wants her to be faithful. There is a
middle path.
Blessings!
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http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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