To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/05/15 16:17
Subject: [K-list] Re Impatience=frustration=anger
From: Cleocatras

I just wanted to thank the pants off of those who had comments about my
frustrations. David Bozzi, your poem saved a piece of me, and your
frustration is heard loud and clear.

I want out of the labels. The comment about shallow insight was the label
this Dr. Crum gave me along with Dilusional Disorder. I dont have the next
opportunity to appease him, instead he created a label which will probably
permanently keep me from having unsupervised visits with my son until he
reaches adulthood... that is unless I come up with someone who can override
his patriarchal paid off pockets. The Investigators interrogated me for
almost two years now and when I started screaming lawsuits, they had to pay
to cover their onions, and Dr. Crum is the one who got the check, officially.

So, it means I am selling my house $20,000 less than market so I can afford a
second and third opinion. If the father was a healthy person, there would be
no dilema, but that is a very big problem, male abuser type trying to pass
down the tradition of domestic violence... and to an emotionally disabled
child, at that. 6 Months at Dad's house and he is already newly diagnosed
with Schizoid Personality Disorder. Makes perfect sense to me...

So as it unwinds and unfolds the damage in progress, my frustration and anger
is hard to overcome. Lights going out everywhere, transformers and computers
with a sigh. Lightbulbs with a blink... even during a formal interrogation
right in front of the entire clan of them! I submitted a very strongly
written document which called them onto the carpet, and 5 hours later, the
deputies were surrounding my home with loaded guns and called that visit to
the house a welfare check, since I was not home.

They think I am poor and alone and defenseless. It totally surprised them
that I had some place to be visiting that night...

Im probably going to be living dangerously if they come here again, so moving
is a good option. Anger has density, you can cut it like a knife, remember?
Trying to keep to myself until I process through it. Trying to find ways to
defer or detour this intense mother energy. Everyone is saying to care less,
love less, protect less. I cant. I cant.

Love to all,
Cat

http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm

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