To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/04/09 18:23
Subject: [K-list] NEW MEMBER POSTING FOR THE FIRST TIME
From: Caio Rossi
On 2002/04/09 18:23, Caio Rossi posted thus to the K-list:
Hello,
My name is Caio, I'm 33 and am writing from São Paulo, Brazil. This is my
first post to both lists ( Kundalini and Kundalini-Gateway ). I'd like to
share with you my personal experiences and reading. I'll try to be as brief
as I can:
I've always felt itches and "touches" all over my body, since I was a little
kid. When I was about 14, I started to do relaxation and visualization
practices in order to have an out-of-body-experience. I got so skilled at
them that I could get my body numb at will and cause what I later learned
was what OBE-ers call "the vibrational state" ( a flux of energy up and down
the body ). I didn't know by then that it was the "launching state" for
OBEs, so I didn't take advantage of them ( although I had some completely
fulfilled OBEs). Also, when I closed my eyes, there weere many light
patterns developing, images appearing and fading away.
That doesn't happen anymore. As I got older, I stopped doing those practices
and, with time, I haven't even been able to relax anymore. It's been
impossible for me to concentrate and relax enough to do start doing those
practices, eversince.
But I've done a lot of reading. As one of our most popular religions is
Spiritism ( Allan Kardec's), their literature was my major source of
information at the beginning. Later, I started taking courses at the IIPC,
www.iipc.org, a Brazilian institute specialized in promoting OBEs.
Before that, when I was about 16, I had a very unusual experience: I had
been looking up at the sky for days, waiting for something I didn't know
what was to come down ( I have Lee Sanella's book but, although I suspected
that, I hadn't noticed he includes that as a kundalini-related symptom
before I read a msg from Kundalini-Gateway: "Do you ever stare into space
for long periods of time or *appear wild-eyed*?" ). One night, at about 9, I
was in the yard, looking at the sky, when I saw a big ball of light ( I
don't remember its color anymore ) coming down. I blacked out and "came
back" completely puzzled. My father came to me and said he'd been looking
for me, but couldn't find me anywhere ( my yard was not so big ). I told him
I was there all the time, told him about the ball of light, he made a
strange face and I think he won't even remember that event nowadays.
I've never liked the UFO issue ( I think that's a real bore! ), but I took
it for granted that I had had a "contact". At that time, abductions and
"missing time" were not so popular ( not in Brazil and I think neither in
the US... back in the 80's ). I continued having some strange experiences
some occasional OBEs, guessing when the phone would ring, the alarm clock
would set off, the time, even X-ray vision- two events only. I guess that
doesn't make me a Superman!-, etc ), but I became more "real-world"
oriented.
About 8 years ago, I came to know about the whole abduction scenario, read
some books, but the only thing I read that really made sense to me was a
book written by a Brazilian jungian psychologist, Gilda Moura ( she worked
with an American scientist investigating the brain waves in paranormals and
contactees/ abductees. Their research is well-known among specialists, so
maybe some of you may have read something by her, I guess ). Based upon
Jung's, Jacques Vallee's ( a French "ufologist", or "mythologist", if you
prefer. His "Passport to Magonia" is a must-read! ) and Sanella's
explorations, she compared the contactees'/ abductees' experiences to those
typical in the kundalini awakening experience and the similarities are
striking! I think Ken Thompson, an American psychologist, has the same
approach. In short, she ( as well as Jung and Vallee ) theorizes that the
"ETs" involved are only a symbol, not "real" ETs.
In the last three years, most of my experiences have not been so
"interesting": I went on depression medication for 4 months and, what has
been emphasized since last year, something really uncomfortable started to
happen off and on: a strange heat in my spinal cord, which spread all over
my back and hands... well, you know the scenario. Last year, I went to the
intensive care unit twice due to those heats, high pressure, heart
palpitations and difficulties to breathe. The last time, I went there sure I
was dying. Later, a cardiologist told me that was Syndrome Panic ( one of
those categories they make up to classify what they can't explain, but can
prescribe medicine for. The best explanation for that syndrome I've read,
and matches my experience, is that the breathing difficulty- whose cause
remains unexplained- triggers a built-in mechanism in the brain, which
reacts as if you were suffocating. That creates the cognitive experience of
being dying. When I hyper-ventilate, that is, take deep breaths, those
symptoms disappear ).
Moreover, as was mentioned by some other posters, about two years ago I
started having sinus problems. I went to the best doctors around, also to a
famous speech therapist. I felt, and sometimes still do, as if my throat
were tightening, so I couldn't breathe. The doctors said I had some kind of
rhinitis + sept deviation, but that those problems couldn't explain the
throat tightening. I had two surgeries ( 2 for sept deviation and one of
them to widen one of my nostrils to allow more air in ). I still have the
throat problem ... + now I hate doctors! :-)
About 6 or 8 months ago, I had the light experience again. I had once again
been feeling that something would come from the sky ( BTW, something that
had already happened before: I had been feeling my forehead "bigger" and my
"third eye" pulsing ( and it really did, PHYSICALLY ). I could see a dark
triangle on it, and some people confirmed that ). Well, that night I went
for a walk and was coming back home, with my earphone on, when I heard this
humming coming from the right. As I turning around to look over my shoulder,
supposing it was a car coming in my direction, I saw what seemed to be a
falling star coming down and heating the ground with a big BANG. I really
thought for a moment it was a "comet" ( or whatever stone that falls from
the sky ) but, then again, I blacked out. When I was back, I felt something
above me, and as I looked up I saw a flat luminous red triangle flying from
my head and going toward a building as it faded away. In fact, it faded away
before it hit the building.
As I had already read all those books, I realized it could never be a "space
ship": it was completely flat, bidimensional, and no ET could ever fly such
a ship! It was also very flexible, like a Flash animation :-)
Well, to wrap it up, I've been feeling these heats, palpitations, breathing
accelerations off and on since then. And more: in the last 2 months, I've
been feeling extremely sexually excited ( I think you guys have been there
too ).
I have also come to know René Guénon's books, which have opened up my mind
to the spiritual traditions. I decided to look for a Tibetan Buddhist center
and found one here that's from the Nyingma Tradition, headed by Chagdud
Rinpoche, a legitimate Tibetan lama ( not so common here in Brazil ). I told
their lama in São Paulo, an American woman, about those experiences I've had
and she recommended that I went to Porto Alegre, in the south of Brazil, to
talk to Rinpoche directly, as she's not an expert in "physical symptoms"
like those.
My question is: do you think it's worth travelling for hours for his advice?
Have you had any experience with Tibetan Buddhism? I know they have this
tantric influence from Hinduism, but I'd like to hear "neutral", but at the
same time informed, opinions about that.
Thanks in advance ( Wow...that was long, wasn't it?! ),
Caio Rossi
São Paulo, Brazil
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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