To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/04/05 12:35
Subject: Re: [K-list] racing mind
From: lillianferracone
On 2002/04/05 12:35, lillianferracone posted thus to the K-list:
Hi Mystress, Bravo, Bravo, Bravo, your post is marvelous. Lillian
----- Original Message -----
From: "Mystress Angelique Serpent" <mystressATnospamfire-serpent.com>
To: <K-list >
Sent: Friday, April 05, 2002 1:30 PM
Subject: RE: [K-list] racing mind
> At 01:48 AM 02/04/02, Rich wrote:
> > > Rise above it.
> > > http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/witness.htm
> > > Blessings...
> >
> >Hi Mystress Angelique,
> >
> >Did you get my other e-mails? I don't know whether you are holding off
> >on replying or whether I said something you don't like or something
> >else....
>
> I got them. I was not directed to respond to them. Body requested
less
> time at my desk and your need was not urgent.
>
> You have a tendency to think too much. You are really over analysing
> when feeling would serve you better. Don't be too dependent on me for
> answers. Ask your heart, feel what your gut tells you. Be silent, and
Know.
> Go into the Witness, and Goddess will tell you.
> I know you can do it, but you tend to get caught up in thinking...
Stop
> and breathe and surrender, then Goddess can *show* you. The learning is
> experiential.
>
> I often think my husband must be much more enlightened than I am,
> because he has no interest in endless discussions of Kundalini, tho he is
> patient to hear me babble. he figgers, the eternal mysteries must remain
> eternal so there is no point wasting time chasing after them. Life is for
> living, not for analysing to death.
>
> he is so totally right, my wise druid... but I tell him "everybody
> needs a hobby." If we did not like to wrassle with the mysteries, we would
> not have a list.
>
> >Can I just ask you - is what you regard as the witness state the same as
> >'the view' state in Buddhism - i.e. the essence of mind.
>
> Yes.
>
> >I read your website and you say there is detachment in this state. To me
> >if I have this right you feel absolutely present and in the moment but
> >not caught in the mind - no ego, no barriers, no obstacles, no
> >judgement, no doubt, no grasping - I think that is what you mean by this
> >that you are simply not attached to anything ..... everything flows
> >effortlessly and whatever outcome occurs in any experience does not
> >matter..... you are no longer seeking anything more .... you are not
> >limited to your body but feel at one with everything in the space around
> >you..... you feel as if you're floating :-)
>
> Hmmm.. more than that, I do not exist and am not really aware I have a
> body. I may be taking it shopping or whatever, but it is running on
> autopilot and I am not in it to feel pain of its boundaries being broken.
> Pure mind is boundaryless but the body is not. It takes it's lumps.
>
> You cannot heal the physical from the spiritual, you have to be in
your
> body to feel the nuances of the body responding to empathy and broken
> boundaries. Free Will is Goddess Law, there is no breaking the rules and
> the result of the attempt is karma. The Witness, gives the insights the
ego
> needs to surrender.
>
> When I write, channelling for people, I spend hours looking from
> the Witness and transmitting what I see through typing fingers... and it
> is when I am done, that I come back to feeling the body and discovering it
> is stiff and sore eyes from being immobile staring at the computer for
hours.
>
> I have come to reconsider whether doing that is really being kind to
> myself. I come back to it and it is in pain. I do not notice it is in pain
> till I come back to it. I figger out if I am in my body, by checking
> whether I feel pain. All these little pains I do not feel from the
Witness,
> although I may see them as patterns of light and shadow, if I think of
> myself enough, to look.
>
> Not surprisingly, I am finding myself less willing to abandon my body
to
> serve the needs of other people. This attitude has made quite a dent in my
> healing business, but that makes me giggle. I have been led to do so many
> different things in this lifetime, who knows what comes next? Goddess has
> it handled. My focus is on serving Her within Me by being in my body and
> following its bliss. Chop wood, carry water, make soap and cement mud
pies.
> Bliss. Write fables about eternal mysteries while thinking about how a
> certain far side cartoon is a reflection of the Cosmic joke. It is very
> freeing.
>
> I have been "away". Focusing on creative outlets that allow me to stay
> in the body and enjoy the process.
>
> Hmm.. more than away. Back in Jan, the woman I thought I was, fucked
> off and started visiting people without me. I have been reluctant to put
> the experience into form, and analyse it. I am bored of writing my
personal
> mythology. That was her gig.
>
> Well, I'll give it a shot...
>
> My best guess, is that for the last several years, at least, I have
> been possessed by an archetype. I did not know this, till it left.
>
> Last Dec. I decided to attach to peace within myself instead of playing
> hero to everybody's drama. Last Jan an aspect of myself decided peace was
> boring, and left. Working at my computer one day I observed to my right, a
> woman who looked like me, dressed in classic Dom gear, corset, stilletto
> boots etc... looking miserable. I observed this for a moment and decided I
> was not interested in her drama either, and went back to what I was doing.
> It was several days later it occurred to me that if some part of me
> was so unhappy as to be splintered, perhaps some investigation would be
> wise. Got some psychic friends to look into it, and the results of that
> were.... astonishing. won;t go into all that, but the essence was that she
> left because she was bored. I found I did not miss her and we seemed to
> exist quite independently of each other, except I had inherited a life
like
> a coat that did not fit too well. Made it easy to surrender everything.
>
> Seems, for the past few weeks of months I have been "gone". I did not
> quite grok how "absent" I have been till I came back, or woke up last
> Friday and empathic friends started telling me how much I have been
missed.
> huh?
> I have been talking to them almost every day, but I have been immersed
> in webdesign... one track mind. A few people did mention that I seemed not
> very present ... my druid commented that I seemed very aloof, absent...
but
> it seemed like perfection to me, so I did not give it any attention. just
> not interested in analyzing it.
>
> Heh, now that I stop to think about it, I got bored of the archetypes
> drama about a month before she got bored of my peace. That thing with you
> and Charles... was me finding out if I could play the game without her,
and
> what it would look like... and more importantly, whether I wanted to keep
> that part of my inheritance.
>
> I've been having a vacation from empathy, these past few weeks. It has
> been eye-opening. I "came back" last Friday, or woke up. <shrug> Now the
> empathy is back too and I have mixed feelings about it. Enjoy the
intimacy.
> Don't like feeling people's karma and unconscious pain, but I am so I
might
> as well get back to work. Chop wood,....
>
> So, there ya go. Unprecendented and subjectively large personality
shift
> of several months duration summed up in a nutshell. Got bored of my own
> drama. Surrendered everything. Attached to peace. The part that was into
> drama got bored and left. Looked at what she left behind, surrendered that
> too. Experienced some chaos that lead to me surrendering a bunch more
> stuff. Was unconsciously transported to a cocoon for a while and kept my
> brain occupied with solitary creative projects till the process decided it
> was done and I'd grown a new self. From the inside, for a change, instead
> of becoming what other people need. Emerged. Goddess gave me back as
> someone I am still getting to know. I like her! the Mystery of
> Mystressssss.. I dunno who the hell I am, either... don't care, really. My
> druid has the right idea... just live it.
>
> The process is the process. There is phenomena, it comes and goes... I
> am fortunate to have people around me who are patient and tolerant of my
> orbit, when I disappear for weeks at a time. It is much easier to just do
> what I can do for where ever I am at, and not spend a lot of time
> storytelling to myself about it or trying to change anything. Goddess has
> it handled.
>
> >If this is the same as 'the view' then would being able to sustain this
> >state be considered to be enlightenment? And if this be the case would
> >being able to sustain it through the death experience perhaps be the
> >goal of many devoted Buddhists?
>
> Heh. I dunno. :) What do you think?
>
> What I do know, is there is a place to go after the Nirvana of
Witness,
> and that is the Laughing Buddha. Witness is a good place for getting a
> perspective to help ego surrender and clear karma, and an important part
of
> the K. process of learning you are All.. but you cannot live there... it
is
> an out of body experience... your body will start to shut down if you
spend
> too much time out of it. Body manifested to be the vessel of You. Use it
or
> lose it... :)
>
> Who would want to live in the Witness? It is very peaceful but without
> passion.
>
> There is a thing that happens later, you get the info from the Witness
> like a blink of an eye and back fully in the body to crack up laughing in
> joy and wonder at the cosmic joke. Michael Read <mareadATnospamtaosnet.com> is an
> excellent example of such a buddha.
>
> Those statues of the fat buddha with his hands in the air, for good
> luck... it is a shrug! He is going. "What the fuck?" Shrug, laugh, don't
> care. No attachment, just wonder and laughing joy. What is, Is and it is
> all amazing miracles. Even the tears and the pain are astonishing in their
> beauty. Waaaay more fun than witness. Not forgetting it is a game, KNOWing
> it is, and playing full out!
>
> Some of my path has involved experiences with beings who appeared to be
> aliens. A Grey Alien taught me about the Witness, then these kitty cat
> aliens with the Egyptian head-dresses and the third eye flashbulb effect
> showed up in my mind and my mirror to teach me about playing full out.
> Fearless passion. Passionate detachment.
>
> They were a hoot. Some people think they are alien, these days I tend
to
> think they are aspects of the human psyche, archetypes. The Sphynx, the
> tigers of Kung Fu, the Jaguar spirit and my kitty cat aliens are all
> manifestations of the same aspects of human consciousness. Greys are the
> reptile mind of our farthest ancestors, the third eye itself is evolved
> from the heat sensor on a reptile's head. At one stage, a human fetus is
> reptilian. They come from within us.
>
> I find it better not to pay much attention to that kind of stuff, these
> days. Shrug, laugh, don't care.
>
> FST level 1 is to clear as much of karma and emotional issues as
> possible, and a basic Mystery school education to give a framework for
> coming to terms with the experiences.
>
> The cleansing prepares for the Grad ritual, which opens the heart
> chakra fully, granting an experience of being unified with All, and
feeling
> your heartbeat in synch with the Universe. Adjusts your heartbeat to match
> the Schumann resonance, pretty much permanently. You can feel your
> heartbeat in your hair and toenails and the tree outside and the chair
> under you and the stars themselves. Very kewl. It fades when its work is
> done and comes back when there is karma to process. Not gonna tell you
the
> details of that part of the ritual, because I have found the cleansing
> preparation is important... and K. will give it to you anyhow, once you
are
> ready.
> The second part of the ritual is ascending through the Sun portal into
> the Void. Some would say the Void and the Witness are the same... for me
> there is a subtle difference, that is based on where my focus is.
> I go into Witness whenever I am curious about something, ADD blink-out
> to get the information and then come back. My attention is on the thing I
> am curious about, so I do not actually notice I've left. It is different
if
> my focus is on being in the Void... prettier, with the Shiva sperm stars
> and there is joy. I notice how every shadow I see is filled with tiny
> rainbow stars... there really is no darkness.
>
> I teach the Grounding for beginners, as a Linearity... up and down
> vertical. Earth and Sun. The later insight is that it is a circle, with
> both ends in the Void, in the nothingness. First, access the Void through
> the Portal within the sun. Easier to go up than down. Spend time there,
> discover there is also a portal to the void at the other end of infinity
;)
> , within the Earth. Then, discover that the nothingness between the stars
> and the nothingness between the atoms of your body is all the same
> Nothing.. pure mind. Nowhere to go.
>
> Being and not-being, the atoms and the spaces between. Sometimes I
> still ground, but usually the energy of my heart/solar plexus just Is.
> Warmth and joy~ bliss that increases for as long as I want to focus on
> it. Wheeeeeeee!
>
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