To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/04/05 11:30
Subject: RE: [K-list] racing mind
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2002/04/05 11:30, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 01:48 AM 02/04/02, Rich wrote:
> > Rise above it.
> > http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/witness.htm
> > Blessings...
>
>Hi Mystress Angelique,
>
>Did you get my other e-mails? I don't know whether you are holding off
>on replying or whether I said something you don't like or something
>else....
I got them. I was not directed to respond to them. Body requested less
time at my desk and your need was not urgent.
You have a tendency to think too much. You are really over analysing
when feeling would serve you better. Don't be too dependent on me for
answers. Ask your heart, feel what your gut tells you. Be silent, and Know.
Go into the Witness, and Goddess will tell you.
I know you can do it, but you tend to get caught up in thinking... Stop
and breathe and surrender, then Goddess can *show* you. The learning is
experiential.
I often think my husband must be much more enlightened than I am,
because he has no interest in endless discussions of Kundalini, tho he is
patient to hear me babble. he figgers, the eternal mysteries must remain
eternal so there is no point wasting time chasing after them. Life is for
living, not for analysing to death.
he is so totally right, my wise druid... but I tell him "everybody
needs a hobby." If we did not like to wrassle with the mysteries, we would
not have a list.
>Can I just ask you - is what you regard as the witness state the same as
>'the view' state in Buddhism - i.e. the essence of mind.
Yes.
>I read your website and you say there is detachment in this state. To me
>if I have this right you feel absolutely present and in the moment but
>not caught in the mind - no ego, no barriers, no obstacles, no
>judgement, no doubt, no grasping - I think that is what you mean by this
>that you are simply not attached to anything ..... everything flows
>effortlessly and whatever outcome occurs in any experience does not
>matter..... you are no longer seeking anything more .... you are not
>limited to your body but feel at one with everything in the space around
>you..... you feel as if you're floating :-)
Hmmm.. more than that, I do not exist and am not really aware I have a
body. I may be taking it shopping or whatever, but it is running on
autopilot and I am not in it to feel pain of its boundaries being broken.
Pure mind is boundaryless but the body is not. It takes it's lumps.
You cannot heal the physical from the spiritual, you have to be in your
body to feel the nuances of the body responding to empathy and broken
boundaries. Free Will is Goddess Law, there is no breaking the rules and
the result of the attempt is karma. The Witness, gives the insights the ego
needs to surrender.
When I write, channelling for people, I spend hours looking from
the Witness and transmitting what I see through typing fingers... and it
is when I am done, that I come back to feeling the body and discovering it
is stiff and sore eyes from being immobile staring at the computer for hours.
I have come to reconsider whether doing that is really being kind to
myself. I come back to it and it is in pain. I do not notice it is in pain
till I come back to it. I figger out if I am in my body, by checking
whether I feel pain. All these little pains I do not feel from the Witness,
although I may see them as patterns of light and shadow, if I think of
myself enough, to look.
Not surprisingly, I am finding myself less willing to abandon my body to
serve the needs of other people. This attitude has made quite a dent in my
healing business, but that makes me giggle. I have been led to do so many
different things in this lifetime, who knows what comes next? Goddess has
it handled. My focus is on serving Her within Me by being in my body and
following its bliss. Chop wood, carry water, make soap and cement mud pies.
Bliss. Write fables about eternal mysteries while thinking about how a
certain far side cartoon is a reflection of the Cosmic joke. It is very
freeing.
I have been "away". Focusing on creative outlets that allow me to stay
in the body and enjoy the process.
Hmm.. more than away. Back in Jan, the woman I thought I was, fucked
off and started visiting people without me. I have been reluctant to put
the experience into form, and analyse it. I am bored of writing my personal
mythology. That was her gig.
Well, I'll give it a shot...
My best guess, is that for the last several years, at least, I have
been possessed by an archetype. I did not know this, till it left.
Last Dec. I decided to attach to peace within myself instead of playing
hero to everybody's drama. Last Jan an aspect of myself decided peace was
boring, and left. Working at my computer one day I observed to my right, a
woman who looked like me, dressed in classic Dom gear, corset, stilletto
boots etc... looking miserable. I observed this for a moment and decided I
was not interested in her drama either, and went back to what I was doing.
It was several days later it occurred to me that if some part of me
was so unhappy as to be splintered, perhaps some investigation would be
wise. Got some psychic friends to look into it, and the results of that
were.... astonishing. won;t go into all that, but the essence was that she
left because she was bored. I found I did not miss her and we seemed to
exist quite independently of each other, except I had inherited a life like
a coat that did not fit too well. Made it easy to surrender everything.
Seems, for the past few weeks of months I have been "gone". I did not
quite grok how "absent" I have been till I came back, or woke up last
Friday and empathic friends started telling me how much I have been missed.
huh?
I have been talking to them almost every day, but I have been immersed
in webdesign... one track mind. A few people did mention that I seemed not
very present ... my druid commented that I seemed very aloof, absent... but
it seemed like perfection to me, so I did not give it any attention. just
not interested in analyzing it.
Heh, now that I stop to think about it, I got bored of the archetypes
drama about a month before she got bored of my peace. That thing with you
and Charles... was me finding out if I could play the game without her, and
what it would look like... and more importantly, whether I wanted to keep
that part of my inheritance.
I've been having a vacation from empathy, these past few weeks. It has
been eye-opening. I "came back" last Friday, or woke up. <shrug> Now the
empathy is back too and I have mixed feelings about it. Enjoy the intimacy.
Don't like feeling people's karma and unconscious pain, but I am so I might
as well get back to work. Chop wood,....
So, there ya go. Unprecendented and subjectively large personality shift
of several months duration summed up in a nutshell. Got bored of my own
drama. Surrendered everything. Attached to peace. The part that was into
drama got bored and left. Looked at what she left behind, surrendered that
too. Experienced some chaos that lead to me surrendering a bunch more
stuff. Was unconsciously transported to a cocoon for a while and kept my
brain occupied with solitary creative projects till the process decided it
was done and I'd grown a new self. From the inside, for a change, instead
of becoming what other people need. Emerged. Goddess gave me back as
someone I am still getting to know. I like her! the Mystery of
Mystressssss.. I dunno who the hell I am, either... don't care, really. My
druid has the right idea... just live it.
The process is the process. There is phenomena, it comes and goes... I
am fortunate to have people around me who are patient and tolerant of my
orbit, when I disappear for weeks at a time. It is much easier to just do
what I can do for where ever I am at, and not spend a lot of time
storytelling to myself about it or trying to change anything. Goddess has
it handled.
>If this is the same as 'the view' then would being able to sustain this
>state be considered to be enlightenment? And if this be the case would
>being able to sustain it through the death experience perhaps be the
>goal of many devoted Buddhists?
Heh. I dunno. :) What do you think?
What I do know, is there is a place to go after the Nirvana of Witness,
and that is the Laughing Buddha. Witness is a good place for getting a
perspective to help ego surrender and clear karma, and an important part of
the K. process of learning you are All.. but you cannot live there... it is
an out of body experience... your body will start to shut down if you spend
too much time out of it. Body manifested to be the vessel of You. Use it or
lose it... :)
Who would want to live in the Witness? It is very peaceful but without
passion.
There is a thing that happens later, you get the info from the Witness
like a blink of an eye and back fully in the body to crack up laughing in
joy and wonder at the cosmic joke. Michael Read <mareadATnospamtaosnet.com> is an
excellent example of such a buddha.
Those statues of the fat buddha with his hands in the air, for good
luck... it is a shrug! He is going. "What the fuck?" Shrug, laugh, don't
care. No attachment, just wonder and laughing joy. What is, Is and it is
all amazing miracles. Even the tears and the pain are astonishing in their
beauty. Waaaay more fun than witness. Not forgetting it is a game, KNOWing
it is, and playing full out!
Some of my path has involved experiences with beings who appeared to be
aliens. A Grey Alien taught me about the Witness, then these kitty cat
aliens with the Egyptian head-dresses and the third eye flashbulb effect
showed up in my mind and my mirror to teach me about playing full out.
Fearless passion. Passionate detachment.
They were a hoot. Some people think they are alien, these days I tend to
think they are aspects of the human psyche, archetypes. The Sphynx, the
tigers of Kung Fu, the Jaguar spirit and my kitty cat aliens are all
manifestations of the same aspects of human consciousness. Greys are the
reptile mind of our farthest ancestors, the third eye itself is evolved
from the heat sensor on a reptile's head. At one stage, a human fetus is
reptilian. They come from within us.
I find it better not to pay much attention to that kind of stuff, these
days. Shrug, laugh, don't care.
FST level 1 is to clear as much of karma and emotional issues as
possible, and a basic Mystery school education to give a framework for
coming to terms with the experiences.
The cleansing prepares for the Grad ritual, which opens the heart
chakra fully, granting an experience of being unified with All, and feeling
your heartbeat in synch with the Universe. Adjusts your heartbeat to match
the Schumann resonance, pretty much permanently. You can feel your
heartbeat in your hair and toenails and the tree outside and the chair
under you and the stars themselves. Very kewl. It fades when its work is
done and comes back when there is karma to process. Not gonna tell you the
details of that part of the ritual, because I have found the cleansing
preparation is important... and K. will give it to you anyhow, once you are
ready.
The second part of the ritual is ascending through the Sun portal into
the Void. Some would say the Void and the Witness are the same... for me
there is a subtle difference, that is based on where my focus is.
I go into Witness whenever I am curious about something, ADD blink-out
to get the information and then come back. My attention is on the thing I
am curious about, so I do not actually notice I've left. It is different if
my focus is on being in the Void... prettier, with the Shiva sperm stars
and there is joy. I notice how every shadow I see is filled with tiny
rainbow stars... there really is no darkness.
I teach the Grounding for beginners, as a Linearity... up and down
vertical. Earth and Sun. The later insight is that it is a circle, with
both ends in the Void, in the nothingness. First, access the Void through
the Portal within the sun. Easier to go up than down. Spend time there,
discover there is also a portal to the void at the other end of infinity ;)
, within the Earth. Then, discover that the nothingness between the stars
and the nothingness between the atoms of your body is all the same
Nothing.. pure mind. Nowhere to go.
Being and not-being, the atoms and the spaces between. Sometimes I
still ground, but usually the energy of my heart/solar plexus just Is.
Warmth and joy~ bliss that increases for as long as I want to focus on
it. Wheeeeeeee!
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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