To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/03/29 01:50
Subject: Re: [K-list] Love
From: Elizabeth Moore
On 2002/03/29 01:50, Elizabeth Moore posted thus to the K-list:
Dear Isis,
I believe I understand what you are experiencing as I find myself
experiencing the same thing, myself. Everyday, I wish my husband would
explore more spiritual enlightenment and work toward the inner flame, but,
instead, I observe that everyday he moves farther away from the spirit and
deeper into the physical, material and financial world. I feel saddened
because of it and feel a strong urge to move my possessions and body to
another place, where at least I am not reminded so frequently of those
material magnets to which he is so drawn. Freedom to do what I wish is not
granted by him, but by me for myself. At times, he expresses loneliness and
jealousy for my outward expression of happiness which he can not fathom.
Not wishing any further pain for him and certainly nothing that I would be
responsible for inflicting upon him, I, too search for the right "place" to
be.
I have rambled through this post with the intention of identifying the
similarities in our situations. If you would like to continue this
discussion off-list, please feel free to contact me personally.
With sincere respect,
Elizabeth
-------Original Message-------
From: r.isisATnospamangelfire.com
Date: Thursday, March 28, 2002 4:02:44 PM
To: K-list
Subject: [K-list] Love
I'm being reminded over and over that love does not always manifest the way
I would hope. I keep having this nagging realization that I need to leave my
husband and it breaks my heart because as I pull away and try on possibility
he attempts to do more and more to accomodate me. I don't think he could do
anymore at this point. I have the freedom to be with other people, I have a
seperate room in our house for my creative endeavors, and I have an amazing
man (my husband) who loves me and would do anything to keep me as his
partner. I still feel however that I can't grow in the ways I need to when
he is energetically clutching at me. I feel a tremendous pull to be on my
own and open myself to experience and life. I feel like since I have been
with him I have shut myself down to a lot of that. I also feel like I have
been waiting for him to catch up to me. (I don't mean this in an arrogant
way. He feels it too. I am quite a bit younger then him and was born into
the world with awarenesses that he has waited forty years to recieve.) I
tend to move faster then him and I am open and ready for more then he is
willing to play with. I feel unsatisfied with his inability to meet me where
I am.
I wonder about the love of Kali (a destroyer and creator goddess) and feel
like somehow I have agreed to play this role in our union. However, I am so
reluctant to let go. I feel two faced waiting for the right time for me to
let go while he feels me withdraw.
I feel two faced telling him that I love him when I am thinking of what I
will do when I leave. The truth is that I do love him with all my heart. I
guess love just isn't looking the way I planned.
Aaargh, what a journey.
Isis
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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