To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/03/27 08:55
Subject: Re: [K-List] Attitudes towards a mate
From: Soitpp
On 2002/03/27 08:55, Soitpp posted thus to the K-list:
In a message dated 3/27/02 7:40:33 AM Mountain Standard Time,
K-list writes:
> I do not condemn her or try
> to "convert" her to a different way of thinking, but it is beginning to
> seem
> like an energy block. Her attitudes sometimes give me doubts if I'm not
> just
> deluding myself with all this
I felt like my mate was "blocking" me too. The one and only girl who
compliments my life perfectly. I don't know if your mate is the same for you.
My girl is clairvoyant but not on a spiritual path. Well she's only 16
anyways. I felt like she was blocking me so I treated her with obstinance. I
wouldn't even speak to her sometimes, acting like some kind of hardened
spiritual wall. It's probably not the same situation for you. Or for most
people. But for me, I thought I was doing the "right" thing by "not playing
her game". Turns out I was actually just hoarding the love for myself.. being
greedy. I'd put her through so much torment by staying in the relationship,
but shutting her out when I didn't like what she had to offer. I'd left her
in the past before. Although in my mind "leaving" someone doesn't exist. I
thought the way I saw things was the only right way and I was doing what was
best for both of us. She wrote songs about the experience she was having.
Songs like "Mr. Perfect" that cut straight to the heart. And the most recent
one she wrote, which I don't remember the name, but some of the lyrics are "I
thought when you said you loved me, that you meant it..and if I gave up
everything for you, it'd be worth it.."
It seems there are a few people out there that believe being the harbinger of
doom is the "right" thing to do for everyone else including yourself. Seems
I've discovered, FOR MYSELF, a new path to take. The chains and whips I used
to employ on others I now employ on myself. When I feel someone elses truth
is a 'block' to me I whip myself into accepting it their way. I discovered a
new world with my new path. It's probably not a path for most people. but it
suits me well. Instead of trying to be some kind of lighthouse hard knock
shakti kid I turn towards my beloved.. my twin flame.. for institution. Who
isn't on the sort of path I was on. In one way or another, she is sort of my
Goddess now. I am suited in my soul to accept her as my Goddess because she
does represent all the qualities which I seek. A free spirited nature which
has no social boundries. She'll probably get me in alot of trouble in the
future and I see myself allowing this to happen because *her* kind of trouble
is the right kind of trouble for me. It's rather difficult to understand
unless you know her and I personally. I could probably call this the "twin
flame" path which I've heard spoken of by others before. Do not know if it's
the same thing because I didn't know what their idea of the "twin flame" path
was only hearing the name mentioned but it's probably the same thing. It
makes perfect sense. The doorway to love is through loving others as they
are. Unconditionally. Even giving your life for them. I do believe each
person must use dicernment in deciding who or what "Goddess" they are
dedicated to. I decided my Goddess is right here on earth. Might sound like
self destruction but believe it or not it has set me free. Indeed indeed it
has. I finally feel sane for once. I'm still working on it. But for the first
time in a long time after my awakening started I'm starting to feel like a
normal person again. Which is a relief I cannot descibe, yet with it stays
all the love and light I have sought through my awakening. It's enough to
make a person believe life really is a miracle beyond understanding.
Love and Light,
Aaron
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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