To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/03/01 11:16
Subject: Re: [K-list] What to do... Kundalini Recovery
From: Mia
On 2002/03/01 11:16, Mia posted thus to the K-list:
<<Just thought I would tell you my experiences, just over a month ago I was lost and a wreck and I started studying cuz I had know idea how to deal with my K. I think you just have to keep looking and trying things to find what works for you. For me I have determined that anxiety is my main symptom of Kundalini and I have realized (actually through experimenting and accident) that everytime I get that anxiety in my solar plexus or heart chakra it is due to the fact that my body is trying to release an emotion >>
thank you so much for sharing this, Kristena!
I'm working a lot on emotions and Kundalini right now and there is a shift that i will try to describe:
It feels to me that emotions are manifestations of attachments or identifications.
As long as we are identified with our egos, we believe we " ARE" our emotions and our feelings.
With the help of Kundalini energy and spiritual awakening these identifications become loose...
to me it feels as if there is a certain space filled with light and love in between me and the emotions.
I learn to observe when emotions are kicking in and what they actually do...
in a way every emotion is a projection, because it's not the experience itself.
In the German language the word for imagination is " Vorstellung" and if i look at how the word is put together it means " something that you put in front of you" .....
i was told by my inner guides to stop attaching emotions to things. NOT to send emotions ( wishes, fears, doubts, longing) into the future( or the past!) by imagining how something could be or become, how i could experience something, how i could feel........
i observe how certain music is triggering emotions......memories....pains from the past.....
and more and more i get allergic to it.....
there are times when i'm able to be in this room of silence and love that is .....somewhere else.......
and i don't want to go back and deal with all this emotional garbage....
right now i'm not so much upset about the emotional pain and blockages that are stored in the cells of my body and need to be released, but much more about the NEW emotions and FUTURE blockages and crap that part of my personality is still producing as soon as i'm not paying attention........
i feel like being in a jail when i'm forced to play the " emotion-identification-game".....
i feel as if i need to vomit..... it feels like hell......
who thinks hell is somewhere else???????
it's right here, right where i am and i'm reproducing it every moment........
I feel so blessed, because i'm aware of what is happening and because i'm aware i can work on or surrender or pay attention and perhaps speeding up this transition....
on the other hand i sometimes can hardly stand myself any longer....
i mean the ego-personality which produces new emotions and new parts of the jail.....
since i'm so aware of it, i suffer so much more.....
thanks for listening
love
mia
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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