To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/02/16 19:34
Subject: chat today Re: [K-list] A little bit about me
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2002/02/16 19:34, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 06:36 PM 16/02/02, Mandra Azária wrote:
>Hi!
>
>I wrote a long answer to Holly yesterday, and told her a lot about my
>problems. It didn't reached the list because I didn't know how to reply.
>Then I erased the mail. Silly me. So now I make a new try. So you all can
>see where I came from and where I stay today. And why I'm not totally
>agree that the K-energy is worth all the trouble.
>
>And maybe there is someone among you, that could be of help for me in
>handle my problems.I will try to respond to your mails after this one.
Sure, I'm up for it. First, I want you to know that you are powerful.
So powerful! You have been fighting all this time and you are still alive?
Amazing powerful.
The thing is... Kundalini requires surrender... not fighting. Fighting
makes it hard.
>I've got my awakening of smoking pot, 21 years ago. It was a big ordeal
>but, as your replies says, you can go trough it and overcome them and come
>out stronger on the other side.
Yep, this is the same.
>That is, if the problems are of spiritual or emotionel nature. And mine
>was that for the first years. Panic-attacks, hallucinations and stuff like
>that. I've learned to handle that rather quickly.
>
>Then two year efter my firt outburst, I started to meditate, TM. I thought
>it would make me feel better. Boy, was I wrong. After 6 mounth of that I
>slowly started to develop other symptoms, more of a bodily art. And them I
>have found much more difficulties to deal with.
There is nothing that is only spiritual or emotional. The body and
spirit are one, the body and emotions are one.
>After several year, about 10, after the first outburst I was in so bad
>shape that I was almost dead, and had to stop working. This was in 1990
>and I still not work afer 12 year.
Yoikes! That is tough.
>I will tell you briefly about my bodily problems.
>
>I have lots of cramps in my legs during nighttime, wich prevent me from
>sleeping. I haven't slept normal for over 20 year.
Yup, that makes perfect sense. Leg problems are all about fears of
moving forward in life, and K. does much of its work at night.
>The last 12-13 years I haven't slept at all during nights without
>sleepingpills. For the last couple of years I haven't eating them so much,
>wich means that I must sleep during daytime. (You can all imagen what that
>does to my social life.)
Forces you to spend more time alone, listening to your body. This too,
will pass.
>I have problems with walking. Round -90 it was so bad that I couldn't walk
>25 meter sometimes. That is better now, but I still has problems and I
>can't run (or ride a horse or dance wich I love to do).
You will, again I feel.
>I had fever for four years, the whole time, during 90-94. That is much
>better now. But it's hard during summertime, when it's to hot.
Pretty typical K. symptom, the heat. Karma burning off. When it is that
intense for that long, sometimes it is because the hot red snake has gotten
stronger than the cool blue snake... thinking cool blue thoughts of
icebergs, mountain lakes, wearing blue and imagining a blue aura sometimes
helps. Mint ice tea...
>I have big problems with my menses. Taking medication for that and I'm
>better now.
Mine did bizarre things when the K. was working on me... all better now.
>Have really high bloodpressure, still have, 220/160. Taking medication for
>that too, of course.
Hmm..
>During 89-93 my metabolism was so high that I nearly strarved to death.
>The body didn't kept a bit. I had to drug it down in order to force it to
>take up some food. This problems is much better now.
Al that heat takes a lot of calories.
>There are many other things that seems to run on high-speed. And there is
>nothing I can do to "turn it off".
>
>Is here someone who knows how?
You cannot turn it off, but if you stop trying to control it, it gets
its job done faster and smoother.
>So, okey, you can deal with your emotionel problems you can get from K and
>the spiritual. None of them will kill you - but the bodily can. So - no -
>it's not worth it! ;-)
In your heart, you know that it will be worth it, once you get the
hang of what is up with you.
I was thinking of hosting a chat today... wanna come? Help you get
things sorted out. Anybody is welcome.
http://kundalinifireserpent.homestead.com/comm.html
>B&B Mandra
>
>There are no short cuts to any place worth going.
Heh... do you really think that is true?
Blessings...
--
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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