To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/02/03 23:32
Subject: Re: [K-list] Central Healing
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2002/02/03 23:32, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 10:23 AM 01/02/02, you wrote:
>Thanks for the replies on Sensory Deprivation which my mind someone
>managed to link up to the subject of how you define being K active.
>
>Sorry to be pedantic but I need to get my head round this whole subject of
>being 'K active' or not. For a start I wince everytime I refer to it
>since there's a kind of implied elitism ie I am, you're not yah boo sucks.
>So maybe at the lower levels K symptoms are less obvious - may not even be
>noticed at all.
>So loads and loads of people are 'K active', it's just a question of degree.
>Well I'm just musing but it makes sense to me.
>
>Does it?
>Kate.
It does make sense... perhaps I can make things clearer for you by
sharing my own understanding?
Some people make a distinction between a spiritual awakening and a
Kundalini awakening. For the purposes of simplicity, on this list we refer
to all types of spiritual awakening, as Kundalini. That is a little bit
inaccurate, but it serves our purposes. For some people it is a large
process, and for others it is something that appears occasionally as part
of a self healing process or spiritual path, then subsides.
Kundalini awakening is the intensity of healing energy that moves
through when the root chakra is opened wider. The root chakra opening, is
all about re-awakening the body instincts. Chi must be directed, Kundalini
is chi directed by instinct, cosmic consciousness, Goddess. Someone may
have a heart chakra opening and get a few of what we list as Kundalini
symptoms, while the K-snakes are not yet awake. The crown chakra is
actually outside of the body, above your head, it can open and give some
symptoms but the snakes are not awakened.
Spiritual awakening symptoms are generally gentler and more mystical,
psychic phenomena, visions, out of body experiences. Kundalini awakening is
manifest in the body, kriyas, shaking, trembling, freight trains running up
your spine, cleansing illnesses, etc. Spiritual awakening symptoms may come
and go, but Kundalini awakening does not stop till the job is done...
although it may appear to go back to sleep, in fact it continues to work
but the ego is not aware.
When we are born, we are fully awakened, and we know ourselves to be
Divine and perfect... but our bodies are weak, we depend on adults for much
of our energy. A child who is not loved, will die. We learn that to get the
love we need, we have to control our emotions, sphincters and reactions..
pretend to be what we are not.
As we grow, and become "civilized" we learn that we have to act
differently than we feel... we create a persona, a "social mask" like an
actor creates a role, and the mask gets so thick we forget we are not that
role. The thickness of the mask interferes with the information that comes
of instinct... the body-wisdom. Natural talents that everyone is born with,
like ESP and empathy are diminished or shut down. Chakras close up and get
blocked.
An aspect of the mask, is emotional memories stored in the body.
Especially old trauma, fear, limiting beliefs that shape re-actions and
behavior.
The whole of the nervous system can store memories, not just the brain.
Even the fluid around each cell carries information, and that does not even
go into the vast amount of information that is DNA.
DNA itself, is conscious and an important aspect of the planetary
unified field. Darwin and Genesis are both half-right. Evolution makes
funny little leaps that cannot be accounted for, by natural selection and
the wonderful interconnectedness of nature seems to have some guiding hand.
The Kundalini serpents twist in a double helix like DNA. Kundalini evolves
you. What IF.. kundalini is the unified consciousness of DNA? This is an
interesting speculation, if somewhat limiting... my crystals appear to have
consciousness but not DNA.
Kundalini is the energy of consciousness. The consciousness of the
body-mind knows itself to be an aspect of the collective consciousness, the
cosmic consciousness, the unified consciousness of ALL... and so it is
wiser than the ego could ever be.
The body mind is connected to the unconscious which is connected to the
collective consciousness which is part of the cosmic consciousness or unity
consciousness we call God-dess, the Self, I AM, etc. The body does not
experience itself as separate from any of that... it is the ego, that
experiences separation.
A memory is just information. Neutral. An emotional memory is emotional
energy plus information. Where there is an emotional memory in the body,
there is also a spot of pain, and the muscles surrounding the memory
tighten in response to the stress.
Wilhelm Reich called this "Body armoring". You can see it, in people by
observing their posture and movement. Seeing how the tension of karma they
carry has bent them out of shape. You are seeing who their ego thinks they
are.
Watch people on the street.. the bowed shoulders of someone feeling
burdened by life, the rigid shoulders and hands clenched of someone feeling
challenged or threatened, the relaxed person whose walk flows like a cheetah.
You can just look at people and see where their karmic issues are by
observing their stress points in how they stand and move. With a touch of
empathy, you get all the information, feeling all their stress points, in
yourself... but empathy tends to follow attention, and so the navel gazing
of giving your attention to your inner landscape instead of the external
triggers helps keep the empathy easy to handle. The inward gaze, mindfullness.
The points of tension decrease blood flow and therefore oxygen flow and
nutrition to that part of the body. The tension in the muscles produces
lactic acid, which crystallizes around the nerve endings and affects the
signals sent by the nervous system. Lactic acid is the same stuff that
makes your body feel stiff and sore after exercise. The lactic acid is
corrosive and the crystals are sharp. The body makes a bag of fluid around
the crystals, just like pus around a splinter. So now there is swelling
and fluid added to the pressure, further decreasing blood flow and
nutrition to that part of the body.
Fear smells like gangrene. Gangrene comes, when the circulation to some
part of the body ceases, the part dies and bacteria appear to return it to
ashes. When there are too many stress points for life energy to keep
flowing, the body breaks down and dies.
All this happens, because of an emotional memory that is unforgiven.
That is what karma is. That is what blockages are. Stress around an
emotionally charged memory that is blocking chi. It is chi that is frozen
into form (the old emotional memory) instead of flowing. Chi must flow to
remain viable. Chi that is frozen into the form of an emotional memory,
turns toxic.
Wilhelm Reich called chi, "Orgone" and he called frozen chi that turns
toxic, "Dor". Dor in the body makes dis-ease and body armoring, and it is
the stuff of ego, karma. In nature it makes deserts. Dead spots on the
planet, dead spots in us.
Your ego, is all of the emotional memories together, all the fears and
limits making a persona that is a social mask, shaping your perceptions of
how you view the world and yourself. Shaping your behavior, blocking the
information gathered by instincts. Making you forget what you really are.
You are not what your fears tell you. Who you really are, is what
remains when all of that stuff, is gone so completely that even the
thoughts are silent. When you realize your Self is and has never been, any
of that emotional and mental noise that kept you occupied.
The changes of Kundalini are largely changes of identification. You are
not your thoughts, or your emotions, or your body. You body is a fabulous
vehicle and companion to your earthly experience, and it knows that its
purpose is to be a vessel of the soul. The body has a mind of its own that
speaks mostly through your emotions and feelings. It also provides your
thoughts, as a kind of feedback mechanism of who you have told it you want
to be.
Someone once described evil, as live backwards. What is against life,
is evil. The seeds of your fears, decrease your life. What is described as
evil, is usually simply people acting from a fear, instead of from
love. Acting from their Karma instead of their Dharma. Karma, ego, sin,
evil... is acting from your hurt places instead of from trust and love.
You could say that all that stuff of ego is a hallucination caused by
post traumatic stress. What we call Kundalini is a process that happens
when in some way somebody yells "Help, let me out of here!" and the root
chakra opens, the body consciousness/cosmic consciousness I call
"Goddess" goes to work releasing the unforgiven emotional memories.
All the signs and symptoms, kriyas, twitches, visions, etc. are simply
a side effect of this process and it is best not to get too attached to any
of it. Many Yogis say to pay no attention to the phenomena, not to be
distracted from the goal... but I find in practice, most folks like to
enjoy the scenery along the way.
There are many, many methods for releasing the emotional baggage, as many
as there are healing therapies and psychiatric models... that is why you
are seeing some Kundalini symptoms in people who otherwise do not appear to
be awakened.
I find the simplest method is to simply surrender the points of tension
as they appear, without fuss. Hatha Yoga engages this method, the stretches
invoke more life energy and unkink the stress points.
We cannot dump the stress points all at once, because that sudden a
change in consciousness would be too traumatic, you would go crazy. The
worst most awful Chinese curse is "May you clear all of your karma by next
week and become enlightened"... because most people would not survive
having it all come up that quick. Having all the toxins released at once
would probably kill the body.
Also, the body mind being a slave to the ego, (Free Will is Goddess
Law.) it needs consent to release each bit of emotional memory that it was
previously instructed to hang on to. The more consent it is given, the more
colourful the awakening experiences. Reverse the hierarchies so the ego
becomes a slave of the body-mind, then the body mind has wider consent to
clear stuff, and does not need to yell so loud about what it wants to
release. Surrender is the absolute requirement of K., resistance means the
body has to beat you up so you will get to where you said you wanted to go.
Responsibility is ownership is responsibility. Your stuff, your issues,
your emotional baggage... let it all go. When K. awakens, your ego
illusions of ownership of your life have to be surrendered. Your lease on
life is up, and you have to give your life back to Goddess.
The essence of this path I teach, is really only two parts... people do
not believe it could be so simple, so I managed to spread it into 60
lessons in Fire Serpent Tantra <www.fire-serpent.com>. Most of the lessons
are simply looking at different types of emotional issues and beliefs. Like
a grocery list of stuff to surrender, and essays to give the ego the
reasons it needs to let go of control.
Part one is to open to receiving more life energy by grounding,
grounding puts you into a state where there is not fear... the incoming
energy can more easily wash the fears away of you are not attaching to
them. Part two is to clear the baggage junk where energy cannot flow, out
of the body with the assistance of the body-mind, through conscious surrender.
Connecting with the body mind so it can show you where are the hurt
places are that need to be surrendered so you can have peace, joy and more
life energy, instead.
When you do the surrender mantra (Goddess please take this, it is a gift
for you thank you very much.. breathe ) and agree to give up "this", you
give your body mind consent to let go of the emotions associated with the
memory, and restructure your consciousness, your body energy and your
memories. When you let go of "this", the muscles relax, the ionic magnetic
charge of the negative memory, that holds the lactic acid crystals to the
nerve endings lets go and the bag of fluid breaks like a dam bursting and
washes them away. That is why you have to drink a lot of water when doing
this work. Wash the lactic acid crystals away so they do not end up
re-crystallizing somewhere else. Bless the water you drink, so that its
electrical charge resonates as you and it is better utilized. The body is
electrical.
The positive energy... chi, prana cannot go to the places that are
blocked with negatively charged energy of the emotional baggage that is
karma. Anywhere in the body where an old recording of emotional memory that
is stuck, life energy has to go around, like water flowing around a rock.
It is a dead spot, and when you get enough of them you get old and die.
To your third eye, the tension place where light does not flow looks
like a shadow-spot. Get grounded, and look at where the light does not go,
and surrender those places.
Look deeper if you want to play the ego game of reasons, and your body
mind will oblige your curiosity with the content of the memory, or a symbol
or vision, or even a "past life" a resonant story: a memory drawn from the
collective consciousness and sufficiently detached from who your ego thinks
you are, to not be such a shock to the system. Like a fable or parable.
All just to make you aware of the memory, so you can use your power of
free will to let it go. Truly, all you need to know is that the tension is
a spot of poison that is killing you slowly. Surrender it. The memory
itself will remain. The emotional energy attached to it, that is the poison
will let go.
Surrender means "give up". The memory is something you have held onto,
and your body shows you the tension because it wants and needs your consent
to let go of the emotional energy associated with the memory. Feel the
tension point or area, get a sense of it and agree to let it go in some way.
Tell it OK! Let go, take it, it is yours,... my personal favorite is
"Goddess please take this, it is a gift for you, thank you very much"
because it pretty much covers all the bases, but any way you want to tell
yourself to let go, is fine.
Your unconscious knows what the memory is and what to do with it. Trust
that, and give up the tension. Then take a deep breath and distract
yourself, because of you are still focused on the tension then your body
does not believe you are done with it. If you have a negative attitude to
the stuff, same thing. You are sending a message that you are not done with it.
The breath is release. Big sigh as the tension lets go. The tension
letting go accounts for a lot of the basic kriyas of muscle twitches.
Releasing the body armoring that is the stuff of ego. Thanking your body
in advance for taking it, shows that you trust it will, and applies
gratitude so your body-mind becomes more co-operative.
When you surrender the tension, circulation returns to that place in the
body, as the tension and fluid is released along with the emotional content
of the memory. Giving up the hole where the stuff used to be afterwards,
gives the body consent to fill the space with prana and get to work
rebuilding it perfect, as Goddess meant it to be when She chose your DNA.
Energy flows. Life!
When you surrender the tension, and the emotional baggage, the old
thought noise recordings that were only coming up in the first place
because your DB wanted you to surrender them, go too.
Your mind gets quieter. You find peace. You have more life energy
available to you, to keep you strong and healthy so you can follow your
bliss... and the radiance of your clear being sends out ripples through the
universe.
Synchronicity, luck, magic, grace... whatever you like to call it, the
flow that is meant to carry us effortlessly through life comes of those
ripples. People who have lots of ego also make ripples, but the ripples are
chaotic and do not spread so far... just as the ripples of a stone tossed
into a windy lake will not travel so far as the ripples in a calm lake.
After a while, when you become quite clear you discover it is better to
have a silent mind like a Zen master, because the thoughts have power to
make accidental manifestations. After a while, following the path of
synchronicity becomes a little odd too, because your thoughts create your
reality, and the synchronicities too... anything you focus on will grow and
be reflected back to you, in your environment. You learn to surrender the
synchronicities! They are phenomena.
If you want to know who you really are, it is easy to get a glimpse.
Just observe your thoughts... really observe them, do not get caught up in
their content... just let them slide on by. When you are in a place of
doing this, next try to observe the observer. Some people mistake the
watcher for the inner critic, but it is not that. Keep trying to watch the
watcher until you cannot go any further back, like you have stepped back
until your back is against the wall and you cannot observe the observer.
That, is Goddess. You are Not the thoughts, but the empty space they happen
in. The space, is unified. The space between the stars and the atoms of
your body are all the same space... the power of the Nothing.
In the bible genesis it goes something like, "In the beginning, there
was the void, and from the void came a voice that said, "Let there be
light"... we associate the Divine with the Light, but the light is a
manifestation of the nothing that gave it birth. Surrender all the
somethings, and become nothing... then you are self realized.
To clear the karma, observe the ongoing conversation going on between
thoughts and body. Most people get caught up on their thoughts and
emotions, and instruction to ignore them simply does not work. Detachment
can be tricky.
What works better, is to alter your thinking/conceptualization and then
detachment follows. You are not your thoughts or your emotions, but with a
little bit of imagination and focus you will see that they are an ongoing
conversation between mind and body. Ego and Divine Beloved.
You have a thought, and a feeling follows, and the feeling provokes
another thought, which provokes more feeling. It is like a ping pong match,
it is such a reliable and regular conversation. Yak yak yak, look at them go!
This is the inward gaze... life on the outside is less important than
the ongoing stream of information your body gives you in response to what
you perceive. It tells you where your karma is, where your buttons lie,
which direction to go in and what to avoid. All day long, yadda yadda
yadda, the conversation never stops.. but most people do not realize it IS
a conversation.
Your mind spewing its thoughts, bla bla bla and your body responding
feel feel feel, and you the Witness Self watching them talk.
Don't know what to do? Be still and hold each option in your mind, one
at a time and pay attention to your body feelings. Emotions, muscle
twitches, places of tension, ... go with the option that makes your heart
feel warm, light and open. Follow that bliss. Surrender all the other
feelings that came up.
We have expressions for it, "going with your gut instinct", or
"following your heart"... this stuff I teach, it is very so very very
simple ... you already know it, you just do not connect what you know, with
the words I use. Teaching is just reminding you of what your soul and body
already know... when I get tired of repeating myself, I put it on a web
page instead.
The feeling that comes in response to a thought, may be an emotion, but
it is also expressed as a place or point of tension in your body... ignore
the feeling thinking noise, let it slide on by and focus only on the points
of tension that appear, and surrender them. That point of tension, is
where the karma ~emotional baggage you carry that your ego is made of~ is
stored.
Pay attention to the points of tension that appear in response to the
thoughts, rather then the thoughts themselves.
The thoughts are just noise, most of them old recordings on replay.
Stuff somebody said to you 20 years ago, and you believed it.. The thoughts
are the noise of karma, like buzzing is a noise of flies. Irritating if you
give them too much attention, but mostly not important. The emotions...
don't try to repress them or control them, but realize most of them are
karma on the way out, or trying to find the way out.
Looking for the reasons for the thoughts or emotions often slows their
exit. Feeding the thoughts and emotions or looking for reasons just makes
more attachments. Reasons is a game ego likes to play, to postpone
surrender. Your personal mythology, the Basic Stories you tell yourself to
explain your world. B.S., for short.
The reactions just ARE. Let them flow on through without judging them.
Emotions come and go, but you remain. Thoughts come and go, but you remain.
bodies come and go, but you remain. When all the stars are burnt down to
ashes, you remain.
The points of tension are what the body does to protect itself from a
painful emotional memory. Like an oyster makes a pearl to protect itself
from a piece of sand. To us a pearl is lovely but to the oyster it is just
a way of protecting itself from an irritant. The pearl is not the oyster,
it takes up space and uses resources the oyster needs to build a strong
shell. Too many pearls to make, and the oyster will die. If you have no
pearls, the world is your oyster. heh. Yoga calls the grains of sand,
Samskaras. Seeds of karma.
Surrender means "give up". The memory is something you have held onto,
and your body shows you the tension because it wants and needs your consent
to let go of the emotional energy associated with the memory. Feel the
tension point or area, get a sense of it and agree to let it go in some way.
Tell it OK! Let go, take it, it is yours,... my personal favorite is
"Goddess please take this, it is a gift for you, thank you very much"
because it pretty much covers all the bases, but any way you want to tell
yourself to let go, is fine.
Your unconscious knows what the memory is and what to do with it. Trust
that, and give up the tension. Then take a deep breath and distract
yourself, because if you are still focused on the tension then your body
does not believe you are done with it. The breath is releasing. Thanking
your body in advance for taking it, shows that you trust it will, and
applies gratitude so your body-mind becomes more co-operative.
Severe tension spots will seem numb. Years ago, probably they hurt but
the body gave up sending the message and just switched off feeling. Feel
inside of yourself, for places you cannot feel, and surrender those places.
Sometimes empathy with someone who has not done any spiritual work will
wipe me out. Stuff they do not feel at all, really feels painful to my
sensitivity. I stay turned inward and put Goddess within my self first, in
my attention and I mostly do not have to feel it except when I engage it
deliberately, in session. Fill myself with Me and there is no room for
other people's stuff.
Send your awareness around inside your muscles and skin, and notice if
there are places where you cannot feel yourself. Surrender them. Feel the
places of tension. Surrender them. Do this for 1/2 hour every day,
especially before you go to sleep, also surrendering the holes and spaces
where the stuff used to be so they can be filled with light, and the whole
Kundalini process will calm down because you are aligning yourself with it.
Going with the flow, being co-operative.
When I go to bed at night, I lay there feeling my body relax, watching
the thoughts about the day go floating by. Watching my body responding, the
twitches and tensions flowing away, the emotions being triggered and
flowing away, no attachment. Letting go completely. Surrendering fully. I
will know when a thought passing by is a bigger release, because my body
will spontaneously sigh as it exits. Notice when your body does that.
Just as I instruct you to breathe after saying the surrender mantra,
(Goddess please take this...)in a state of peace and surrender, the same
thing happens with no words but only the sigh afterwards. when I feel the
sigh, I thank my DB for caring for me.
I have rewritten this essay about three times now, and I am still not
sure if it is clear and makes sense, but there ya go. Blessings!
--
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
DISCLAIMER!
Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe
K. List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.
symbol.