To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/02/03 20:50
Subject: [K-list] Re: My Story
From: lionessbleu1
On 2002/02/03 20:50, lionessbleu1 posted thus to the K-list:
Hello Andy,
First thanks for sharing such a personal story.
--- In Kundalini-GatewayATnospamy..., "why" <andyATnospame...> wrote:
> Three years ago, I received a psychic reading that informed me that I > was psychic. I could automatic write and also heal people by touch. I > was practicing these abilities for a couple months. One night though, > I felt this foreign entity entering my scalp of my head. It felt like > a snake slithering back and forth, pushing down walls (for lack of a > better word) where I use to have headaches from. I told it to leave > but it shook my head no.
This sounds like kundalini. Snake like movements of energy is typical and it has it's own divine intelligence and will often do things that you resist.
The next morning, I felt a lot of draining > from the top of my head. It looked like mucus but tasted like blood. > This happened every night. It would even nudge me to turn over on my > back so it could go to work. They also moved my teeth so this> drainage could have a bigger passage way. I thought it was my own > spirit guides. I was automatic writing to them and they revealed that > it was a spiritual initiation.
Kundalini has also made me turn over, assume different positions, so it could work more freely inside me. It also makes adjustments in my body as it sees fit.
>
> Well, weeks have gone by and I would still have this surgery going on > every night. I started to collect some bad physical symptoms. I
> couldn't sleep well at all, even with a sleeping pill.
So, don't sleep. There might be a reason you are suppose to be awake.
I would wake> up with plenty of trembling, especially on my right side. Later on,> I would have nightmares every 15 minutes or so. During the day, I> would shake a lot, especially around my head. My body would tremble, > especially around my hands. There was a lot of eye twitching, > blinking excessively and even some cross-eyed action. I felt this > energy sensation going up and down my body, controlling different > parts of my body.
When K moves through the body it does what I call "housecleaning". We often manifest symptoms of different kinds as stuff is being cleared out. It is transitory and temporary. Sometimes we manifest symptoms of diseases, illnesses or accidents we had once as the body relives the memories as they are activated by the motion of k pushing at them.
I had uncontrollably movements of my hands, feet,
> legs, arms and fingers. I was even off balanced by just standing
> still. I had uncontrollable facial expressions. I would even talk
> in the third person. It was like my personality was starting to
> split.
Kriyas, movements cause by K, are common. Think of water going through a kinked up hose. Until the hose becomes straightened and flexible there is a lot of wild uncontrolled movement as the water rushes through.
Maybe your personality is beginning to split. We begin to discover we aren't who we thought we were, in fact, we are more than who we think we are. It is a little disconcerting and unsettling that is for sure.
>
> Thoughts kept racing my mind, good and bad. Bad usually. Lot's of
> different emotion type thoughts mostly. My imagination was
> uncontrollable too. I would see superimposed images on top of my own > images. I had tightness around my throat and chest area. I had
> problems breathing because I felt this pressure on my chest.
You are not your emotions, you are not just your body, and you are not just your mind. Learn to view what is happening with detachment and fascination. "why look at that? Isn't that thought amazing? I wonder where that came from? Hmmmmmmmmmm....." Your auric site is probably getting pretty enhanced and your chest...who knows...maybe it needs to expand to hold more of this energy.
> I saw a Shaman and he started to do some spiritual work on me. He
> extracted many snakes and even performed a partial soul retrieval. He > saw a witch in the under world that was causing me havoc. He also saw > negative lightening bolts stuck to me. He fixed these two but my
> symptoms were not going away.
Oy, snakes are good, manifestations of serpent kundalini energy. Let them be. I think the shaman is seeing your condition through his own
projections. All is perfection. Everything that is in you is a part of you, maybe unacknowledged till now, looking for integration. Embrace
these parts of you as parts of your shadow side. Do not be afraid of
them. Evil and badness is a matter of perception. Talk to them and ask
them what they want.
>
> Now, it got to the point where my personality was starting to split.
> I checked myself into the psyche-ward and have been getting better
> ever since. The only problem from this type of treatment is that the
> medication sedates me, and brings me other side effects such as
> dizziness, headaches, and light-headedness. The Shaman informed me
> that I needed to do some psychotherapy (which I was doing) plus have
> a full soul retrieval. He said that I needed to deal with my
> childhood issues. Evidently, I don't remember much
> about my childhood.
You are going through a spiritual awakening that causes a crisis of the psyche. The traditional medical treatment is to medicate, to suppress the symptoms. Sometimes this is valid if the symptoms are
overwhelming and you are not in a supportive environment. But..these
symptoms are valid expressions of your awakening and are to be
listened to. Sometimes the treatment suppresses and therefore prolongs
the awakening process.
I would suggest you find a psychotherapist who specializes in Spiritual Emergence and awakening who respects this process.
Where do you live?
Love,
Susan
>
> I'll stop here.... Any thoughts?
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