To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/02/03 01:40
Subject: [K-list] health/illness poll
From: saxoncyr
On 2002/02/03 01:40, saxoncyr posted thus to the K-list:
This poll about the health problems of people acknowledging
their active K is intriguing enough to delurk me. My name is Mike,
and I've gotten so much out of all the responses here. I think this
topic is as important as it is interesting. And I have my own hunches
and theories about the way our health is affected by living in
awareness.
I did have a nice, life changing awareness find me when I was
16, but since then, it has been coupled with years of IBS,
depression/anxiety, chronic fatigue, headaches, and ADD. My shift in
perspective to see things from a spiritual perspective kind of
evolved even though I wasn't often feeling very well. And being
reminded (thank you alot Mystress Angelique) to see the perfection in
things as they are made me wonder if so many of these "modern
ailments" weren't just Goddess working through me. Being exhausted,
being in pain just often enough keeps me from "getting in the game"
and burying my head in the sand the way that happy ingnorance can let
you. So I am FORCED to spend hours pondering the why's of all this,
and sometimes....the veil is lifted just a little and the lessons and
the bliss come streaming through.
My whacky attention span will probably always prevent me from ever
having a serious career because I usually can't wrap my mind around
something longer than a minute without drifting into the ether, but
facing my dissapointment in that also brought me face to face with my
ego, which is turning out to be a very interesting dance. And I think
that's important work! It's been written here that some folks have a
built in filter that keeps them from getting bogged down in "useless"
information. I say AMEN to that.
The depression sometimes feels like huge weight, an all-
encompassing nothingness, but in retrospect I feel like I was being
stretched wider...ha!...by misery! More room for the good stuff!
Anxiety crackles through me like electrical fire and I imagine it as
karmic lava shooting up through me, igniting all the crap from this
exisitance on it's way out. That (and this wonderful list) taught me
to seek refuge in the Witness state and just let it go on it's way
home. Oh, yeah, I still freak out at the time....my hindsight is
killer though. But that taught me something else, too: forgiveness.
The exhaustion and tummy aches are still lessons waiting to be
learned, but while lying there too tired to move, my mind travels to
places so far away that I've learned that it's all inside me anyway.
I used to do more sitting meditation, but what was going on was
the gunk was being brought up faster than usual and I was often not
able to release it. Then I'm stuck with it in my head, and that's
just not pleasant enough to make me want to jump back into it. I
admit, I'm afraid to meditate! But at exactly the right time, yoga
came along with her pretty face and kissed me. Those ultra-cool
ancient yogis sooo had my number! The physical practice has become a
sort of moving meditation for me.
I've never had anything serious like cancer to deal with, but i
hope that if I do get that hand dealt to me that I will see that,
too, from the perspective that it's all just lessons to be learned.
And I wish strength and dignity to those who are going through those
sorts of things. Thanks to everyone for a great list (long over
due on that one) and thanks Hillary for such an evocative poll.
--
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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