To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/01/27 20:31
Subject: RE: [K-list] Graves Disease (very long response)
From: Jennifer
On 2002/01/27 20:31, Jennifer posted thus to the K-list:
Thought I would take a few minutes to share my experience of Graves disease.
I was diagnosed in August 2000 to the surprise of both my doctor and myself
as we were expecting a diagnosis of hypothyroidism to come back in the
initial lab reports.
To make a very very long story as 'little long' as possible, I went through
nine months of trying to regulate my thyroid through traditional thyroid
medications, energy healings, homeopathy, accupuncture, Chinese herbs, and
others before making the decision in April 2001 to go through the
radioactive iodine treatment. This was not an easy decision for me to make;
in fact, I scheduled and cancelled the procedure 2x before going through
with it on the 3rd scheduling. Why did I choose to go through the
radioactive iodine treatment? Nothing else was working. I had allergic
reactions to the traditional thyroid blocking medications as well as the
homeopathic remedies. Non-invasive treatment modalities were not providing
any relief either.
I had had symptoms of neck/throat 'issues' for years ... had always thought
that I had been guillotined in a previous life :) ... also had a swimming
accident when I was younger where a friend had surprised me while swimming
around in the community pool by grabbing me around the neck, choking me and
nearly drowning me ... and even more telling of my 'throat symptoms' was
that all of my life I have had trouble wearing anything around my neck
(e.g., turtle neck sweaters, choker necklaces, etc) .. couldn't even stand
to have anyone touch my neck.... and while I had read about throat problems
being connected to 5th chakra and to challenges in speaking one's truth,
being authentic, I had never really connected that to me. Why, I'm not sure
nor have I found that I have the need to know now.
The timing of my diagnosis of Graves disease came at a time in my life when
I was going through a very big and stressful transition in my life. Much of
the transition had to do with me needing to make some decisions around who I
was going to choose to be and what personal and professional path was I
going to choose to follow at this time in my life .. the choice within the
question of my professional path ended up playing a very important role in
the connection between my thyroid, my need to be authentic and the 2nd
chakra challenge that emerged following the radiation treatment of my
thyroid.
I had been raised in a medical family... father was a doctor. I grew up
entrenched in the medical model of thinking and being except I never bought
into it completely. Living overseas for 7 years offered me the opportunity
to experience alternative ways of treating illness and of healing.
Interesting thing is that I was rarely if ever sick for the majority of my
life until this past 18 months or so .. and I never quite bought into the
idea of medical intervention for treating this Graves disease until after I
had investigated the medical understanding, the mind-body-spirit
understanding etc. of Graves disease and thenI sat down with myself and
started asking myself some questions.
I knew that I was blocked in giving myself permission to live from those
parts of myself that I didn't believe fit the norm of where I was living and
what it was I was wanting to do professionally. I knew I had a lot of
stored up feelings about a lot of things that I could not express to the
people I needed to express it to, including myself. After experiencing
numerous allergic reactions to medications, elixirs, remedies, teas,
herbs,etc.. and getting no relief from the non-invasive treatments, I made
the decision to go through radioactive iodine treatment because I believed
without a doubt that I needed to remove the blockage, whatever that
blockage/obstacle was .. it needed to be removed .. and that by removing it
I would be clearing the space and the energy one way or another and would at
least having something new to look at along the journey because doing more
of the same wasn't working. Of course there were other factors that
contributed to my decision (e.g. age, child bearing ability, etc)
So I had the radioactive iodine treatment done in April 2001 and 6 weeks
later I started a menstrual period that lasted until mid-October when I
opted to have a hysteroscopy (an excellent decision for me and for which I
give myself applause!). Given that the professional path of sexology and
sexuality that I was choosing to shift fulltime into and that I was
experiencing fears around because of how I had journeyed to this new
professional space (sorry for the lack of clarity here, am trying to keep
this on focus and not go off on a tangent), it was fascinating to me that I
would begin to have gynecological problems, 2nd chakra imbalances .. and
knew without a doubt that what I was experiencing was an energy release and
cleansing. I didn't share this information with my doctors because I knew
they would not understand but metaphorically, this clearing and cleansing of
the 2nd and 5th chakras had an amazing effect on my sense of being, my sense
of self, my sense of self-value and I was able to 'free my voice' and get
into the natural flow of where I was being led on my journey, on my life
path.
I'm sharing this story because I think it's important that we remember that
it is possible to get out of balance with any of beliefs, any of our
practices, any of thoughts and actions. I never thought I would opt for a
medical intervention as extreme as 'nuking' my thyroid. But I had to take a
look at my own extreme feelings, thoughts and beliefs around my aversion to
traditional interventions and I needed to look at the other side, factor in
past experiences (both positive and negative) and then make a decision that
was within my sense of personal integrity, my needs, my understanding of my
purpose in life, and how I was attaching meaning, and what meaning I was
attaching, to this experience of Graves disease. What I've learned thus far
from this experience is that there are times when traditional medical
intervention and alternative treatments need to partner with one another,
that they can offer a powerful healing.
Am I "healed". I don't know .. my thryoid levels are not yet stabilized and
my hemoglobin count from the months of menstural bleeding have left me a
'quart low' on blood .. there is work yet to be done ..
Do I like the other physical changes that have come about as a result of now
being hypothyroid? Not particularly ... but it's better than what I was
experiencing and I feel like I am much more in balance than before.
What I do know is that I feel 1000% better in mind, body and spirit.
My professional path has become clearer and my resolve to walk it much
stronger.
Do i miss the surges? No because they still make their appearance (just not
24/7 like before) and I talk with them and understand them better than
before; I understand their purpose better and am able to move through them
in a different way than before.
My 'out of wack' K has settled down and for awhile I thought it had
disappeared completely but what has emerged instead is a deeper awareness, a
deeper knowing, a deeper understanding, a deeper connection with my
K-energy, a deeper intuitive connection and a deeper, richer and more fully
sensuous sense of self.
This is my story, in this moment. It needs not be the story or the desired
story of anyone else who is living with Graves disease. You need to create
and live your own story <smile>
Jennifer
--
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
DISCLAIMER!
Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe
K. List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.
symbol.