To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/01/11 17:18
Subject: Re: [K-list] Fluffy Bunnies fluff together . . .
From: L. J. Klinsky

I almost peed in my pants when I read this, from laughing so hard! :) Thanks!
  Dear Dr Laura,
  Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's law. I have
  learned a great deal from your show and I try to share that knowledge with
  as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual
  lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly
  states it to be an abomination. End of debate. However, I do need advice
  from you regarding some other specific laws and how to follow them.
  a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
  pleasing odour for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbours'
  attitude. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite
  them?
  b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
  Exodus (Ex 21:7). In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
  price for
  her?
  c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman when she is in her
  period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15: 19-24). The problem is, how do I
  tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence!
  d) Lev 25: 44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and
  female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine
  claims that this applies to Mexicans but not to Canadians. Can you clarify?
  Why can't I own a Canadian?
  e) I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35: 2
  clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obliged to kill him
  myself?
  f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
  abomination (Lev 11: 10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I
  don't agree. Can you settle this?
  g) Lev 21: 20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a
  defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my
  vision have to be 20/20, or is there some room to manoeuvre here?
  h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
  around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How
  should they die?
  i) I know from Lev 11: 6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
  unclean, but may I still play gridiron if I wear gloves?
  j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19: 19 by planting two different
  crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments of two
  different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse
  and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go all the trouble of
  getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev 24:10-16)? Couldn't we
  just burn them to death at a private affair as we do with people who sleep
  with their in-laws (Lev 20: 14)?
  I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can
  help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
  unchanging.

  Your devoted disciple

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