To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/01/07 23:43
Subject: Re: [K-list] the kundalini process and the spaces between
From: jane tripp
On 2002/01/07 23:43, jane tripp posted thus to the K-list:
>Dear Group,
>I don't post, but several things have come up lately that I am curious
>about. The reason I lurk is because I am not sure if I am K awakened. I
>think the reason for this is that although I have many of the symptoms and
>occurrences that K-active people do, I have never experienced rising
>energy, and certainly nothing that ever approached bliss or ecstacy, even
>briefly, although I have longed to! I think part of the problem is my
>inability to surrender. Some gibbled up part of me hangs by it's fingertips
>from a high cliff top, shrieking in the wind, terrified of losing control,
>although it really has no clue what it is doing! I am wondering whether to
>take a hammer to those gripping fingers and make them let go, but I'm not
>sure how. I have a strange feeling it must be like learning to ride a bike
>or something, a knack.
>When I read the post about CFS it reminded me there was a brief discussion
>quite a while back about this that gave me something to think about before,
>and then Magdelene's description of her experience with this illness so
>paralleled mine and my husband's that I was startled. We also have M.E. and
>fybromyalgia. I experience the foot and back pain, constant headaches,
>pressure over the ears, muscle and joint pain, noise sensitivity, irritable
>bowel and bladder and a host of other symptoms, and my husband experiences
>many of them. If there is a link for some between K and these illnesses it
>would certainly explain a lot.
>As for sex, one thing I know is that it is pretty difficult to feel desire
>when you are in pain and exhausted constantly and trying to bring a family
>up. My condition seems pretty constant, but when it does improve, so desire
>returns in one degree or another. Not ideal, but better than nothing.
>Having seen what Mystress calls 'prana squiggles' since childhood, and
>noticed tiny sparks that appear around the house also since I was quite
>young, I've always just accepted them. These sparks are often blue, but I
>don't know if they are the same as the blue light discussed earlier, as
>they appear only for a second and are occasionally in different colours. I
>also dissolved small clouds and sometimes even put them back again. I don't
>play with the weather now, but I've seen my father divide a cloud into 4
>squares after stating his intention to do so.
>Recently something occurred several times that I wonder is a sympom of K,
>so I would like to ask has anyone else had this happen. One day I was lying
>down with my eyes closed and a wave of light passed across my vision and
>left. Another one occurred and they continued in a steady wave for about 20
>mins and then slowed down and stopped. At first I was worried because I
>have high blood pressure sometimes and I thought it was like the light that
>throbs in your eye in time to your pulse before the headache from hell
>settles in, only worse. It wasn't though, as it came in much slower waves.
>It has happened several times since then. I can see it just as clearly with
>my eyes open, and it is as if everything is illuminated for a moment by a
>'wave' of light. When i lie in the dark I can always see waves of colour
>appearing behind my eyes, usually purple. Trying to improve my health I
>purchased a Chi Machine a couple of years ago. When I have been on it I can
>see these colours on the ceiling with my eyes open, but this is not the
>same as the white light. They are definitely different in nature. I also
>seem to be able to see some things, although vaguely, in the room at night
>with my eyes closed, like my bookcase. Also, does anyone on the list
>experience any of the following? My body feels like it's fizzing inside all
>the time, especially in my arms and legs. It is not like 'pins and
>needles', being softer, like a gentle effervescence. The next two may sound
>weird. Has anyone had their pupils change temporarily? I mean without the
>help of natures pharmacopeia! And, has anyone experienced unusual thought
>patterns during orgasm? I find pictures, like a photographic slide show, of
>landscape for heavens sake, passing before my eyes during orgasm. As I know
>no-one else this happens to, I am very curious. I don't feel it's abnormal,
>but it does seem unusual and I am not sure what it means.
>Finding this list has made a difference to me whether or not I am awakened.
>I often find it easy to get a sense of someone over the computer, as I do
>the phone. They seem to act as amplifiers. I have sat and cried sometimes
>at the things people on this list have gone through. It certainly put my
>problems in perspective when I was feeling sorry for myself several times.
>I have learned a lot. For instance, like most people bornin the fifties and
>later, I amno prude. Having quested after truth and occult and metaphysical
>information constantly from childhood. I was aware of Eastern philosophies
>at least at an intellectual level, and thought that the various expressions
>of sexuality were fine, but at some point on the big journey the chela
>would 'conquer' his or her desire, releasing it as an attachment that tied
>them to the earth and 3d existence, and, hopefully, raise their kundalini,
>a half understood concept for me at best, and something I believed, as I'm
>sure thousands do, that didn't really happen much in the West, as we don't
>follow their disciplines. As I wasn't truly interested in Eastern
>Traditions at any deep level, being drawn to paganism, Druidism and Goddess
>through the Celtic Mysteries (something so much a part of me I can't deny
>it) I sort of left the issue there. Sometimes I think I'm clever, but I can
>be unbelievably thick, and although it was staring me in the face, even
>through my own beliefs, I didn't catch on. It was this list, and posts from
>Mystress (who also helped me and my family at a time we really needed it
>and made a lasting difference to us) that let me see clearly the absolute
>sacredness of sex, free from any whiff of 'sin' or guilt. That is a relief
>at some level I didn't know I was bothered at. We like to think we are free
>from conditioning or brainwashing, but the layers can go so very deep. And
>I think it was through this list that I found Dan Winter's website, which
>has affected me profoundly, at an intuitive level. It seems to be some
>strange form of dyslexia or something. Mathematics and it's concepts are
>largely a closed book to me, a big disappointment in this life!
>Anyway, I want to thank you all for those things I have silently received
>from this list, and send my love to all of you, and very warm hopes that
>each of you receive many, many blessings in this coming year.
>
>Jane Tripp
>
>visit my mythic art gallery: www.icebringer.com
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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