To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/01/05 06:46
Subject: [K-list] Dark Night of the Soul
From: siska
On 2002/01/05 06:46, siska posted thus to the K-list:
Hillary - thanks for raising this subject and for digging out that poll - it's great to read from others who've been through this.
I think I've bleated on enough already about my six 'dark night' depressions, but wanted to add a few comments.
1) Looking back over the twenty years across which they occured I'm amazed at the 'intelligence' that has been behind them - a very loving force that has ensured that there's been support in terms of people, surroundings, circumstances during each episode. Also, each has been longer and deeper than the one preceeding, as if the horror of one has prepared me to endure the greater horror of the next. If I'd gone from number 1 to number 6 just like that I wouldn't be here now. Also had a lot of support in terms of syncs, dreams, voices with messages etc. During the most profound one I virtually turned into a myth! Persophone - right down to eating pomegranates daily (the one and only period of my life I've done this) just before entering the Underworld (I only learnt about this myth after the experience). Also each depression has begun in late Summer/Autumn, bottoming out over Xmas, and beginning to improve Spring/Summer - like Persphone is supposed to spend the dead winter months in the underworld and return for Spring.
2) after each one I've come out 'upgraded' - really different in extroardinary ways from before becoming ill. So it's been a process of staggered growth - kind of making quantum leaps at various intervals, the price of which has been unspeakable pain.
3) I've become interested in psychological astrology over the last few years, though as yet still know pretty little. But discovering about my rising sign (ascendent) has made so much sense about why I have to go through this cyclic dark nights thing. As Scorpio rising, seems tis my destiny to confront the dark and hidden (my role to do this in my family as well as myself!), and go round slaying 9 headed Hydra's only to find when I chop of one head, a load more grow in it's place. Scorpio rising is like a snake that has to shed it's skin at regular intervals - explosion, release, renewal. It wipes out old forms and structure and builds new ones - seems I'm in good company with Gandhi, Lenin, Mussolini, Stalin, Maggie Thatcher .... saints and tyrants!!
(Info from 'The Twelve Houses' - Howard Sasportas).
It would be very interesting to know how many other cyclic dark nighters are Scorpio rising...
siska.
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