To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/01/02 08:00
Subject: RE: [K-list] Help
From: Jennifer
On 2002/01/02 08:00, Jennifer posted thus to the K-list:
Sasse -
I notice from the postings and your responses that you seem to know what
kinds of suggestions won't be most helpful to you. Given that you know (in
part perhaps) what won't be helpful, that suggests to me that you might have
some inklings as to what would be helpful. This said, what kind of help
from us on the list are you seeking?
I can offer you all kinds of thoughts and suggestions that might be of help
however, I also know that when we are in great pain, great fear, great
sorrow, the desires that we feel to stop the pain, to stop the fear, to stop
the great sorrow can take on a life of its own that draw us down a path that
we might not want to travel but feel as though we have no control over.
In addition to drawing upon the wisdom and experience of this group, I also
encourage you to find a spiritual counselor who works with people
experiencing spiritual crisis, someone who has a background and experience
in both mental health and spiritual ("k") counseling and/or coaching. I say
this because you say you have no faith in the situation you are experiencing
and you say that the desire you have to harm yourself is 'overwhelming'.
My own K-awakening was not gentle. I didn't know what was happening; didn't
know anything about K-awakenings, K-experiences, etc. What I did know was
that I was being drawn down a (nonsuicidal) path that I could not resist, a
path that has changed my life over the past 4 years and not in ways that I
would have ever expected.
As a therapist, I had come to a place of having little faith in the helping
or healing power of traditional mental health services. As a spiritual
believer, follower and self-practitioner, I had faith in the wisdom of
spiritual guidance but no belief or trust in the idea of 'organized'
spiritual followings, teachings, dogmas, or local spiritual practitioners
who hung their shingle based more on their own needs than those of their
clients. I had no spiritual support system around me other than my books
and tapes, my understandings and the belief that I would get through this if
I let myself move through the experience as I needed to, not as others
believed I needed to. The effects my 2 years of 'hibernation' had on my
life and that of my family were both devastating and liberating. And while
I'm grateful that my journey of the past 4 years has brought me to some of
the darkest shadow places within myself, as well as those most filled with
light and those places inbetween, in retrospect I wish that I had had a
'sherpa' along with me for the early part of the journey as I might have
been better prepared to experience and move through what I might encounter
on the journey.
Blessings to you as you journey home,
Jennifer
----- Original Message -----
From: "sasse" <metavibATnospamyahoo.com>
To: <K-list >
Sent: Tuesday, January 01, 2002 9:46 PM
Subject: [K-list] Help
> Dear list members,
>
> I have not written "for ages". My K has gone on very
> gently. The list memebers are my only support in the
> process. I have got in touch with an old experience -
> I almost killed myself. The desire is overwhelming.
> No faith in this situation.
>
> Greatful of any help,
> Sasse
>
> Dan wrote:
> >Its all in the brain, the brain is causing the
> experiences.---
> >those who read this, only a few would respond. ---
> >I will not know what its like to die until I do it
> ---
> >I do not want this to sound morbid, depressing. I
> know many on this list
> have cultivated, live by their UNSHAKABE FAITH in
> their god/dess and
> experiences and prayers and well being and love---
>
> Hillary wrote:
> >Speaking of depression, this is the time of year when
> so many people go
> through a SAD syndrome--when the days are short. Do
> some list members have
> some methods they would like to share to ease the pain
> of states such as the
> void, dark night, and general "emotional kriyas"?
>
>
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