To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/12/15 07:12
Subject: [K-list] Rapture and Gandharvas
From: emilybATnospamsympatico.ca
On 2001/12/15 07:12, emilybATnospamsympatico.ca posted thus to the K-list:
Some people mention on the list that they experience bliss. I've certainly
been experiencing many blissful states.
Yesterday, I experienced what I can only call RAPTURE!
I had done some meditation and some chakra exercises in the morning. I was
not feeling particularly 'zoned in'. The energy was extremely low.
When I got to school, (I'm a teacher), I started off my class with 15
minutes of reading. During that time, I started doing a Gratitude
meditation.
When I started the meditation, I had a bit of difficulty since I was not
feeling particularly connected that day. When I would think of something to
be grateful for, I would hear a negative voice saying: "Oh really? Well what
about such and such?" My gratitude felt insincere. So I started really
simple. I started by feeling grateful for my 10 fingers, my body, my
health, and so forth. Then I slowly worked up the Grateful energy till I was
full of it.
For a certain period of time, right in front of my students (luckily they
didn't seem to notice) I experienced what I can only call, the angels
singing! I didn't hear anything with my ears, it was not a sound
hallucination. And it's not singing per se, nor were they angels as humans
appearing with wings. Though I could certainly understand why medieval
mystics called it the angels singing the glory of God. That is the closest
approximation to what it was like.
They were 'humming', 'vibrating' in chorus (though it was neither humming
nor vibrating), all different notes though it was not music either at all.
But it was harmonious. They were in ecstasy, but again, that is not the
right word to depict what they feeling. I couldn't really see them, though
the first vision of human-like angels did appear, to be replaced with an
image of small triangles all fitting together to form one huge triangle
which also disolved into something else which I can't remember because it
was beyond my brain to remember/grasp.
I felt they were ecstatic because of gratitude and compassion. These two
feelings from humans made them ecstatic. First that a human would feel
gratitude is the greatest vibration that they respond to. Then if a person
feeling gratitude is also feeling compassion for all creation, they vibrate
even more.
Just like in medieval texts, I felt they only existed for that, for
'singing' the glory of God, though I didn't feel a God or Goddess.
This is all so difficult to describe.
And I felt they were responding to my own 'vibration'. They were 'ecstatic'
that I was 'getting it,' that I was joining them in 'praise.' I wanted to
soar up and join them in heavenly bliss.
I had to go back to being a teacher but felt that when I had some time to
myself, I could rejoin them. But I couldn't. Although I did feel bliss for
hours afterwards, I couldn't find rapture again. It even made me depressed
on my way home, like life had no more meaning once I'd experienced and lost
that rapture.
I spoke to my friend who is guiding me through all this K stuff and he said
that the Hindus call these beings the Gandharvas. After our talk, he wrote
to me the following:
-
We have talked about these ³Gandharvas². May be you can find more on the
net. This is not a new experience for some, although it is a rather rare
occurrence, it takes a certain degree of refinement of the nervous system
to be able to reach that level of sensitivity. In the Scriptures there are
many references about them. It happened spontaneously as you noticed, and
did not last long, but long enough for you to register the experience and
wished it could have been longer. The question to ask here is:² Who is this
³I² who can say ³I experienced this², who is this ³I²? You have noticed
also that if you go into the experience, you loose it. This is a
conditioned reflex to go into the subtle experiences, this is how the senses
perceive, we are so conditioned by our senses that when in the subtle realm,
we have the same reflex. However, it does not work, it makes the experience
disappear! In order to be able to remain with a subtle experience, one must
³come back onto oneself²! It takes practice. So the Gandharvas came to
sing for you, signing with you the songs of gratitude, some do dancing too (
I am not joking, this is true ).
An other thing you have learned through this is that having oneself in a
state of gratitude is one of the keys for accessing the subtle realms and
that is to be cultivated constantly (see later, the pillars ). It is easy
when it is all good and rosy, less when difficulties abound that is why one
should maintain this attitude of being in gratitude, starting when times are
rosy so it is maintained when times are less rosy! And of course you have
had a direct experience that even rapture brings misery, Buddha was right
for that part, misery, always misery everywhere! When one gets established
in this ³Witnessing state², than misery, although still existing on the
gross level is no more experienced, is just witnessed like a part of any
other things, this is the beginning of ³Liberation²; when that is
established, even the notion of ³I² dissolves. This is where you are
heading for, just continue to create the habit of putting yourself into the
highest perspective and share it with the world with the practice of the
"shower-umbrella" breath. Rapture sometimes makes us forget to spread
(should say "to spray") the bliss energy all around ourselves, our
environment, and the Universe; some call this the "food of the gods".
Feelings: there are: gratitude, compassion, friendliness and truthfulness.
These are the four pillars of love, the only real basis for relationship.
-
The lesson that I am learning from this experience is once again, the TRAP
OF EGO!!
I remember a friend telling me that he had learned to do yogic flying and
that this stopped his evolution for 5 years!! Other friends had related
similar stories of how they got caught up in psychic phenomena which stopped
their evolution till they could get their egos back under control.
I had listened and felt sure that *I* would not get similarly trapped. But
the weak, childish Ego just loves to think it's special, doesn't it? It's
treacherous and full of cunning.
Already, I had been battling my Ego since K Awkenening. The Ego is happily
jumping up and down screaming: "I am special, I am special". Battling my ego
reminds me of the game for children, where they have to hit with a hammer
various heads popping up from a table. As soon as one head gets hammered on,
another pops up to take it's place.
And now after experiencing the Gandharvas, I know that I will have to play
this game with even more energy!! "I am NOT special!" I have to remind
myself. There is no "I" except for the Eternal Watcher. I will repeat: "I
see my Divinity in everyone and everything around me".
I had read in countless books warnings about seeking psychic phenomena. They
might happen, will probably happen, and it's best to observe them neutrally
and not pay too much attention to them lest one get trapped by them and stop
their personal growth.
May you all experience Rapture! :)
And may I remain humble and centered and focused on my path.
With love
Emily :)
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