To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/11/07 10:35
Subject: [K-list] Re: kundalini and sexuality/mature subject matter :)
From: Divine Goddess
On 2001/11/07 10:35, Divine Goddess posted thus to the K-list:
Hi Jennifer,
Although my k didn't wake up because of acupuncture I find that
acupuncture can accelerate the process and also make it smoother but
not necessarily at the same time.
One time after some acupuncture around my navel earlier this year for
strengthening my uterus, that evening it felt like a basketball of
fire was growing inside my belly and became "stuck" below my
ribcage.It was peppery hot and HUGE. I could not lay down to sleep
because it kept me from breathing because it was pressing on my
diaphragm.
Normally, high energy states are easily assimilated and processed by
me. I am used to running enormous amounts of energy thru my body that
fry others to a crisp so this was an unusual experience.
I sent out an S.O.S. to some other healers like Angelique and some
sister goddesses and their presence comforted me because I was
actually frightened. Becoming frightened with energy flow is not my
usual course of behaviour. Normally, I just ride and enjoy it.
I have done tummo fire exercises before but this was not even in the
same category of intensity. So after about 4 hours of sitting up with
my back as straight as possible I was eventually able to lay down and
fall asleep. It was gone when I woke up.
In later months, kundalini flow took on a different quality and an
even higher intensity of body bliss.
Other times during acupuncture my legs would throw off loud
electrical snapping sounds like you hear around high current
electrical towers, scaring the acupuncturist. :) Also my sensitivity
to the chi flow thru the meridians would be remarkeably enhanced. I
could feel the energy flowing around the circuits and where each
needle had pierced me there would be a momentary burning feeling. And
the energy raced in circuits inside me like a fiery wind, very very
fast.
I like acupuncture cause it helps but for those of who are sensitive
to energy flow we just have to be aware and follow our intuition
about the appropriateness of what kind of therapy is being done.
--- In Kundalini-GatewayATnospamy..., "jennifer nm" <jennifernmATnospamh...> wrote:
Snips...
> The next morning, I felt this strange and uncomfortable line of
energy > running from that point on my navel to my genitals. I felt
alot of anxiety > along with this.
Did you know the clitoris nerve endings extend to the navel? The
branch of nerves that innervate the clitoris are thick and long. I
can press on my navel and feel it in my clitoris. I used to have a
journal article on the anatomy of the clitoral nerves I believe from
the British Medical Assoc but I lost it.
What was the anxiety about? Did it have to do with feeling of the
connections being made between two locations, whether physical and/or
energetic (between the 2nd and 3rd chakras)? What images came to your
mind?
Within a day or two, I started having sexual feelings
> around women, after being/feeling strictly heterosexual my whole
life. > (Meaning, when around women, images of women, I actually felt
what seemed to > be a reflexive sort of mini-orgasm, focussed in my
genitals)
For some reason, since I was in my teens, women have been attracted
to me sexually. I have actually had a woman grab me and kiss me and
another take my hand at a resteraunt and begin sucking on my fingers.
Ah well, this just fills me with wonder because my desire is for
masculine energy and the male body equipment that goes with it. :)
I realized that I have an intensity of intimacy that is established
quickly with women. I do find women beautiful and sexy and sometimes
feel desire for them but have not felt interested in acting on that
desire although straight and bi and lesbian women love to cuddle up
next to me. Gay men love me too. I think it is that leonine/dragon
energy I have that is so nuturing and protective of her cubs that
broadcasts safety and security.
I think your friend is right about the goddess energy. The goddess
energy is so sensual and sexy, it is normal to feel resonance with
the same energy in others.
These feelings > continue off and on to this day, and I still can't
integrate/make sense of > them. I also have a burning/energetic
sensation in my abdomen off and on, > usually accompanied with a
feeling of grief/anxiety. I've experienced bouts > of unexplained
grief/anxiety since this happened, but don't know if it's
> part of K-awakening or just a response to the wierdness and
overwhelming > feeling of it all.
Some stuff about my awakening still doesn't make total sense but I
get bits and pieces along the way. I think the burning is cleansing
you. K does housecleaning in our emotional, physical and spirtual
bodies. When the energy stirs what the emotion is to be released,
when it passes through us on it's way out we may experience that
emotion again. If it is a physical cleansing we may experience an old
disease or chemical or dysfunction that we thought we were healed of.
Clearing out old patterns often causes us to relieve the old
patterns. That is where the term "healing crisis" comes into play.
But it temporary.
I don't feel an emotional pull towards being with women
> (and continue to have that emotional pull towards men), but there
is this > physical thing that comes up. It has been so disturbing to
me that I feel > that I've developed a phobic kind of response to it,
which seems to make it > even more intense.
What we resist, persists. What we focus on, intensifies and we
manifest. Bless it, love it for it is a part of you. Ask it to speak
to you and tell you a story.
> I note that if I don't resist the feeling, it dissipates > a great
deal in frequency and intensity.
See, you have been listening to you own heart wisdom. :))))
>I'm in a relatively new > relationship with a great guy and am
really struggling with what this all > means and how to proceed with
the relationship. If that acupuncture needle > brought up latent
bisexuality, I need to deal with that and accept it.
Spirit is androgynous. It is only my conditioning and personal
interests that keeps me from enjoying women sexually in the physical.
Someday I might but it doesn't appeal to me. I have just learned to
relax about my sexual desires. "Oh there they are." It doesn't mean I
gotta follow thru or make self limiting labels on it. And besides, a
lot of men have incredible fantasies about bi or lesbian women and
themselves. They are fascinated by all that glorious female flesh and
feminine energy concentration.
Angelique and I once shared k fired sexual energy between each other
on the spirit plane (I have never met her in person) and the "highly
sexed" shaman guy who we blasted with the energy ran from us and
totally vanished and promptly unsubscribed from the list the next day
that we all were on. He was quite proud of his sexual energy power
and I couldn't pick up anything from him. It was funny for it is
unusual for either one of us for men to run away. The men who don't
run are usually the ones who have deeply connected with Goddess
energy. We probably burnt his aussie butt to a crisp. K fired female
energy is powerful. I rarely and I mean rarely get a burn from a
male. They have to be surrendered to the Goddess within and love her
passionately for me to get some physical energy reading on the sexual
level.
I think that is why sex sometimes feels so ho hum to me. Maybe I
should start sleeping with women....LOL! But making love with a man
who is surrendered to Goddess....sigh....
I just share my adventures and experiences with you, Jennifer, cause
all this is completely natural. It doesn't mean you are differrent or
weird or unusual.
Enjoy the process, Jennifer.
Blessings,
Susan
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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