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To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/11/07 09:36
Subject: [K-list] I'm Back
From: L. J. Klinsky

On 2001/11/07 09:36, L. J. Klinsky posted thus to the K-list:

Hi Group. I re-subscribed today... If any of you got the impression that I was not grateful for your help, then I'm sorry, because I certainly took in every word sent to me here. Know that 15 years of therapy when I was younger didn't uncover what you've helped me uncover in less than a month. I think that's pretty good! :)

Maybe the lesson is that all you folks have been down this path a whole lot longer than me... All this weird-ass stuff is happening to me out of nowhere and it gets downright scary sometimes. So, when Cat and others tell me things like (paraphrased): Give yourself up to Goddess, I feel like I'm being asked to let an alien life-force take over my body and turn me into a trance-like Pod like in Sci-Fi movies. It's pretty hard to give it up when that's in my head, and experientially I haven't felt or seen anything else yet.

Obviously I was meant to do what I did to the group, with security issues, because if I hadn't, Goddess knows if I ever would've known my sadistic/masochistic streak and many of the other patterns that have plagued me my whole life. I even found out that I'm an empath, which explains why I have always felt like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I guess I felt that saving the world would get rid of all this nasty crap that was eating at my solar plexus constantly.

Please know that I never outwardly meant to hurt anybody, that's for sure, I was just being who I was, the best way I could at the moment.

Now that I've seen this darkness, I am watching it like a hawk. And, gratefully, thanks to Mystress, I have learned how to shrink my ever-expanding boundary so I don't invade others' space and feel the feelings of the world.

Blessings to all of you,

Leslee


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