To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/11/04 12:39
Subject: [K-list] scars
From: Dana Wasserman

    divine_goddessATnospamhotmail.com wrote:

> I have scars too.

> They bug me because I heard all my life my father saying to
> me, "Ladies take care of themselves so they have soft, smooth
> skin", "Women are meant to have pretty skin so don't play so rough."
>
> So I have some old shame feelings about not being female enough still
> around my appearance because my skin looks like a battlefield in some
> places. I don't have those nice flat scars. Mine usually look like
> the keloid type...raised, pink, and a little contorted and I have
> some skin discoloration.
>
> I have been told I should be proud of my scars, they are like badges.

After lurking around for awhile, I am so excited by the subject of
scars,
strangely enough. I have had around ten surgeries, but for the majority
of
them the scars caanot be seen, as most were on my eye muscles (which is
a
whole experience in itself). However, when I was 19, my gallbladder,
septic
and surrounded by irritating gallstones, finally called to be removed.
The
aftermath of the emergency surgery was a long, pink,, keloid scar
snaking
its curved self underneath my right ribcage. I decided to decorate it:
I
had tattooed a royal dagger that 'bisects' the scar vertically with a
few
drops of blood at the tip. Interpretations of its meaning abound and
indeed, they change. But it is part of me. Perhaps as a grad student
in
clinical psychology, I have always wanted to write a paper on women and
their scars. Regarding what, exactly, I am unsire, but I am sure that I
am
quite open to suggestions.

As a child, say around 8 or so, I used to wonder what exactly was
occurring
in my mind when under general anesthesia. Though unconscious, I somehow

imagined that I was conscious of something. Some of my vivid memories
as a
toddler are the mere moments of slipping into nothingness. What goes
there?

Dana

--
 --
Dana Wasserman <dbwasserATnospamearthlink.net>

http://www.kundalini-gateway.org

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