To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/11/01 09:02
Subject: [K-list] Sometimes, things just are...
From: L. J. Klinsky
On 2001/11/01 09:02, L. J. Klinsky posted thus to the K-list:
I've got a little story for you folks. It goes like this:
There once was a horribly abused child, who eventually found solace in pounding the crap out of anything using anything. One day, for no reason she could understand, she pulled the cardboard coat-hanger rods off their metal bondages, and beat on beds and dressers and books and pillows and car seats... She kept doing this, though she didn't know why. But it felt so good to release everything; everything came out in beatings.
Years later, after this child saw somebody beating cylindrical objects on television, she realized that hitting things was a gift from Goddess, manifested as drumming... So she honed her craft as best she could, pounding 16 hours a day or more--mostly beating the backs of car seats and black and blue thighs. Girls didn't play drums back then, according to everybody in this child's life--girls grew up and made babies and were gladly subservient to males until they died. So, she couldn't buy drums.
What did she do? Remember S & H Green Stamps? She went door to door collecting books of them, saving enough to get a really cheesy snare drum... That was it. Nobody could stop her from there... Goddess provided drums everywhere.
From there on, drumming was the only thing she ever wanted to do. It made her feel so fine, even pretty, and all her negativity flowed away as she drifted off with her drumming companion, her Divine Beloved. She orgasmed while she played, no lie; that's how wonderful it made her feel. She was a loser everywhere else, always thinking differently than everybody else, obviously put on this earth to traverse a path of fire. People didn't take to her much at that time.
This child grew up, and at the age of 15, she was ordered to move into the streets. Mama wanted to move with a new boyfriend to Arizona, and surely, the burden would need to be left at the door. So this girl auditioned for bands, some in the worst neighborhoods, feeling not a lick of fear, feeling protected by her Muse. She was offered jobs at every audition she went to.
Now that I've given a general introduction, I will get to the point. I am that girl. And I thought nothing of money, good or bad back then. I didn't care about it. I just wanted to share my gift with the world, spreading love everywhere because it felt so hot. I toured for 17 years, with all original rock bands, playing to sold out houses in 50 states, Mexico, and Canada. My chops were on 11 albums. I did MTV videos and made a lot of people rich. For some reason, obviously a lesson for me from Goddess or elsewhere, drumming did not make me rich.
Do you know what? I was rarely able to eat more than a couple of times a week, and I didn't care as long as I could drum to let my love out. I couldn't afford toilet paper. I lived in the streets, in cars, in apartments with dozens of other musicians. But I stayed in the most glorious hotels on the road, treated like a queen wherever I went. People kissed my feet. And people--men and women alike--waited in lines at the end of shows to meet me, hoping to fuck me or eat me. I was somehow important to those people, and it felt so good to give and give and give...
Then, one day I quit to play "real life." I taught myself computers and became an engineer, went to college to become a professional writer, became part of the machine. I made tons of money doing what my heart told me NOT to do. I've regretted it ever since.
Moral: Our perceptions of money are based on our perceptions and experiences in life.
I don't know why I brought this up, but it sure felt good to let it out.
Leslee
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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