To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/10/30 11:43
Subject: [K-list] Easy Question and some oddities too
From: Joshu
On 2001/10/30 11:43, Joshu posted thus to the K-list:
What energy is it that we experience as a chill up our spine? This
energy, which comes naturally when it's cold, when you urinate, etc,
also during a beautiful song or emotional moment in a film.. well for
me, this blossomed into something more. Also after this are some
questions about a more peculiar rare phenomenon I would like to know
about if anyone recognizes it.
From a young age I was always able to induce chills in myself with a
little concentration. It felt like a muscle I was flexing somewhere,
but I couldn't tell where. Lately I have noticed that I tend to raise
my ears and this helps, or sometimes it is more like once the energy
is flowing, it naturally raises my ears, perks up all the muscles that
kinda shift the skin on your head.
This basic chill though, through meditation is obviously more powerful
than normal, and I can bring it up from my base, sometimes it seems to
just "pour" in from somewhere in my back, and begins higher up on the
spine, but as I inhale, moves up to the head. If I focus on it I can
keep it moving higher and I *think* sometimes after that as I exhale
it will kind of fire back down through my body, not exactly the same
way it came.
Also lately I can generally direct the energy to any place in my
body. Still it is basically the same sensation as a chill up the
spine.
What specifically is this.. I am having trouble ascertaining if this
would be kundalini, I suspect it isn't, it only has a mild bearing on
my state of mind even if it's quite intensely present in my head.
Just, prana? If so, how would apana be distinct from this, and what
would be most helpful is what kind of natural body-experiences relate
to it. I am aware of many sensations during bodily processes which
seem related to distinct "energies" but mostly what literature about
these things provides is location, and then vague comments about
purposes of them and how they produce this or that when united, rarely
how they relate to normal physical experiences. I am specifically
interested in valuable "next steps" from the blossoming "chill" energy
I am able to bring, because I am frankly not sure what to "do" with it
except enjoy it. Yet at the same time I sense that many things might
be done with it.
Some other details about the behavior of this feeling.. often if a
chill is too intense we will sort of shake, like shake our shoulders,
and the energy will sort of "spill" into the upper back area before
reaching the head. Generally when meditating this does not happen, it
happens when I am not cleared/focused. Occasionally when retaining a
breath, I will be able to keep this feeling in a constant flux or
flow, and occasionally it has caused regular spasms (vibrations) in my
neck muscles close to my skull.
Now, regarding this more peculiar, rare phenomenon. I have
occasionally felt something which behaved as though conscious
separately from me. It is very "localized" or tight spasm, which
passes through me, taking the shape of a "ball" of energy, no bigger
than my fist. It is basically pulsating at about 8 per second.. seems
related to my alpha-rhythms.
I first had this triggered when listening to Steve Reich's "Music for
18 Musicians" which features a constant pulse at this rate. Very
beautiful life-changing music by the way. My mind/body synchronized
with this pulse as I lay in bed, and this ball began, as I recall, in
the back of my neck, and it would pass back and forth along a path
through my head, down my nose/face, into my jaw area, down into my
throat, and to my chest. Occasionally it would continue down as low
as my belly. It often floated around my solar plexus. As I would
focus on it, it would shift, and it behaved peculiarly as I tried to
"direct" it anywhere, as though it had a will of its own, but was
aware of my will. It is hard to say how I knew it was in my head
because I could not directly feel the pulsing, but it would shift in
and out of this "blank area" into places where I could feel my flesh
pulsating again. Then, very immediately, if I got scared (I kept
saying to myself "I am not ready for sucha physical transformation"),
it would simply disappear. It came a few other times but never as
strong.
Finally, for a really nutty question which is somewhat related to this
feeling. What do we think is moving back and forth as a cat purrs?
It seems to me two things are somewhat in balance, and I have in one
rare instance experienced something related to this vibration I
previously described, where it vibrated in my voicebox, which was at a
sort of equilibrium (I think I was retaining breath but letting it
move in/out slightly), producing something remarkably like a cat purr,
and I felt sort of catlike, frankly. What's up with that? Where
exactly do I seem to be, in relation to someone being given guidance
from an instructor.
Curious and uninformed,
Josh Sutterfield
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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