To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/10/30 01:40
Subject: RE: [K-list] Kundalini descending...
From: rich
On 2001/10/30 01:40, rich posted thus to the K-list:
> This is actually the second time I've felt this energy.
> What happened? It was shut off. By people manipulating me
> and driving me into depression, blocking me up. I felt it
> go, but was unable to do anything about it. I see that
> Goddess doesnt give more than you can handle? I've already
> had too much. Follow your bliss? I did... And was hated for
> it.. I loved to play my guitar with the beautiful music I
> had in me.. With the wonderful images I could see... That
> was all twisted out too... I loved the unlimited energy in
> me, like a sun, I could do anything. But I was told not to
> act like that, to stop playing my guitar, to stop being
> alive, stop trying to have a girlfriend, to be more like them...
>
Hey - people may give you a hard time but it's you who decides how to
respond and react. It is also possible that you are somehow creating
these situations? Is it a reflection of yourself? Is it the past
re-visiting you? These things can be based on your own programming and
belief patterns and for most people are largely automatic. In time as
you grow you will have more mental space and ability to respond
appropriately to situations to maintain harmony between all parties.
>
>
> So now I'm here. I can say.. This is the same stuff I had!
> I know what this is. Recognition. But I things are different
> now. Before I would grow with it every day, I never had to
> think, things just happened and I felt good. Thats the best
> way to do it. Now.. I think too much about everything. It
> gets confusing. What is this? What is that?
Is it possible to learn to relax and trust in your inner guidance / act
intuitively? The mind is limited and will struggle in trying to
comprehend and make sense of the vastness and complexity of all that is.
Are you following your goals or in some situation that is less desirable
to what the inner you really wants? Meditation should help to calm the
mind and allow you to act without thought. It may be that issues are
resurfacing that need handling - things that you need to let go and move
on from?
>
>
> You might think that I am rushing this.. But really all I
> want is to feel it all again. To get in touch with myself
> again. To just be me again. It's like a thristy guy in the
> desert who finds water finaly... he will drink himself
> sick.. I wanted to feel good again after so long, to return...
>
> And most importantly... Stop being constantly cut open and
> having my heart smashed every day of my life from this
> incredible feelers that I have that are attached to everyone I see..
A friend suggested imagining that you are a flower and are able to close
the pettles up to isolate and protect yourself from the negative
energies around.
>
> Most people seem to have guidence, something that moves in
> them. They dont have to do a thing. Just let it go... Let it
> flow.. I dont have this.. I just do things. I dont know how
> far to go, how much to do, what to clear, what to surrender,
> how to be.. This is bad when you already know how it feels
> and want to just have a taste again... You cant stop
> sometimes... This is all that drives you.
Slow down and rest your thoughts. Inner guidance is a subtle thing at
first but it will grow in strength once you connect with it more
regularly.
>
> I dont know what to say really.. This is all just so
> confusing to me. But how can you tell when you are going to
> far with this? If I dont keep at it constantly I feel that
> the same thing will happen again. I will lose it. And I cant
> have that happen again.. But I know there are dangers here,
> but I cant see them... I have no limiters...
You will not loose it - once K is awakened it may get occluded or
blocked but it does not just vanish. Some solid clearing work should
help to bring this back. You may want to read about the Brahma knot.
>
>
> So let me know if you think I'm going to far, or if theres
> something you think I should know. I dont know anything. I'm
> learning like crazy, but this is not something that I want
> to mess with without knowledge. But I still need this... Its me.
Hmmmmm. Learn to trust what's within you. It's the best guide you will
ever have! Other people can point things out to you but the change and
cognitions comes from within!
>
>
> I'm actually listening to myself now... Just waiting for an
> answer...
Sometimes when you ask the right question the answer is sitting right
there!
Best wishes,
Rich
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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