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To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/10/26 20:11
Subject: [K-list] Eye-opener
From: Shadowspace

On 2001/10/26 20:11, Shadowspace posted thus to the K-list:

Well, I was deeply submerged the other night, so focused on just
breathing that I eventually drifted away from awareness that I was
concentrating at all. For maybe ten ecstatic minutes, I don't know, give
or take, I was wholly absorbed.

Well, the Self came quickly running back and I let it, of course, but it
had brought something interesting back for me.

I guess I've known on some gut level for a long time that I'm bisexual,
but it occured to me for the first time that my heart wasn't open to my
own feelings, which happens too much. Just an imprint taken from society,
really. Then I drifted right back into meditation, effortlessly, tension
I never knew was there had disappeared. That sour-sweet burning came to
my forehead, where it's never been, and then spread to the usual place at
my crown. It also ran up my legs to halfway up the thigh, and I sat for a
long time, and somehow forgot the K, it was still surging, but I was
barely aware of it, and there was only bliss.

Any interpretations are welcome, of course. I've got my own, all of yours
are just as valid and may resonate more truly to me. I am certainly bi,
and I realized the other night during this experience that I was blocked,
that I'd fooled myself into thinking I accepted it completely but
obviously didn't because I was unwilling to talk about it, and if you
won't converse because you're afraid of the reactionss that will result,
it's likely that you've got some issues with the taboo subject yourself.

Well, it's late. Goodnight all. Thanks for listening.

"I, who wished to read the book of the world and the book of my own
nature, did presume to despise the letters and signs. I called the world
of appearances, illusion. I called my eyes and tongue, chance. Now it is
over; I have awakened. I have indeed awakened and have only been born
today."

"So good to see you. I've missed you so much. Came out to watch you
play...why are you running away?"


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