To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/10/03 10:34
Subject: Re: [K-list] Re: Need Help - Severe Kundalini
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2001/10/03 10:34, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 01:03 AM 02/10/01, infoATnospamCityoftheSun.org wrote:
>Hello Angelique,
>
>I think you've said a lot of good things here. It's nice to see that
>people like you who seem to have a pretty good education regarding
>Kundalini.
Experiential...
>I've been hearing that my delivery could have been somewhat easier
>and that I'm feeding fears and that my motives should be examined. I
>would very much like to clarify something here. I have pretty good
>insight and clarity regarding my own motives, and if someone should
>question mine, I think it is THEY who should be examining their own.
That you so persistently project it outwards is resistance...
>If you tell someone to hate someone else because they are a certain
>ethnic background, I think that is feeding a negative fear.
>
>If you tell someone that they will burn in the fires of Brimstone for
>all eternity if they do not believe in a certain religion, I believe
>that is feeding a negative fear.
If you tell someone that they will burn in the fires of K. and
psychosis, this is not feeding a negative fear? On what planet?
>I warned Leslee that the practice of certain yogic disciplines are
>believed to create distorted specimans, and that there are many
>insane specimans in India that practice Hatha Yoga.
Most awakened people start to practice it spontaneously, at first. My
body liked to take yoga postures since my childhood... long before I
learned anything about it.
Anything taken to extremes.. especially attachments that become
resistance to surrender, can lead to imbalance and "distortion." To find
the meddle path, sometimes you need to know where the edge paths are... is
there any Kundalite who can be described as fully "sane"? Most psychiatry
does not know what to make of us.
>In no way do I believe this was feeding a negative fear, as its
>intention was to protect the individual for whom it was intended.
Protection is fear. Protection is also ownership and responsibility.
Karma follows responsibility, and the lines of ownership... and taking
ownership without consent is usually inappropriate. Projecting it, is
invasive. Especially if the message is fear.
>Your own post verified my standpoint regarding Kundalini and certain
>yogic practices. But the issue here is one of whether my delivery was
>appropriate or not.
Yep.
> With my arms
>restrained I had no way of getting something to drink. The time
>dragged, and each moment was a "Dark Night of My Soul" that I will
>never forget. And how would I classify this event? A classic
>psychotic episode.
Well, there is the essence, then. You speak from the unreleased trauma
of your own past experiences. This is really not about Leslee at all, it is
about you and your old wounds.
Goddess have mercy on you.. and you, on yourself.
You are taking responsibility for the history of your friends, and you
cannot. They had their own paths to walk, and made their own choices. You
may wish that the past were different, but the only place that it exists is
within your memories. You have to surrender the fear, before you will be
able to see the perfection.
>Perhaps many of the people on this list have had the fortune of not
>having to deal with a highly painful psychotic experience
><...> Well I have. I know how real
>and serious the warnings Gopi Krishna gave really are because I've
>experienced them for myself.
You bet.. with brass knobs on. Crazy people galore, and a dew dives of
my own, into temporary psychosis. So what? Hey, once psycho ex-slave has
even written a one woman show, "Driving Mistress Crazy." Have not seen her
in several years, but her nutty obsession with me is undaunted.
Life can be painful, no matter how you slice it... but you do not cling
to your scars as evidence of your heroic intentions if you are truly
speaking through spirit.
You have some trauma that motivates you. I know, in your head you have
thought a hundred times how you wish you had known what you know now, to
save your friends. You have turned the trauma and guilt feelings into a
heroic mission to "save" people. That, in itself is evidence of some
psychosis. Those fire and brimstone types you despise, also belief that
their message is important enough to use the attention getting strategy of
promoting fear. Between that, you and your stone breaking friend, is only a
matter of degree.
You are wiser than this, Sean... take a cynical look at how your ego
adeptly rationalizes your actions. Surrender it, rise above it. Let it go...
This ride has no seatbelts, but faith itself. Yes,sometimes people do
fall and get broken... but this list is just one more synchronicity of a
mustard seed for Goddess to provide an alternate path. It works, no heroism
required.
>As I said, Angelique, your own post already attested to the fact that
>her yoga practices could be damaging her.
Damaging was not a word I used. There is a difference between
suffering, and damage. I trust the healing power of K., and its wisdom. My
faith works in ways that my words cannot. Goddess brought Leslee here, to
get what she needs to come back into balance. Synchronicity supports the
process... but synchronicity and fear do not often go together.
> Her private post to me and
>also to everyone else showed me her insistence to keep up with them.
>And she actually looked for people to support her in her decision to
>keep up with those practices.
I didn't see that... but so what? That is what an ego does, when it is
in resistance. Did you think no one else would see through it? We see
through you, too.
She did not find much support for the idea, did she? Yet, others
managed to communicate the relationship between her overactive states and
her yogic practices without scaring her senseless.
Is it because no one else has your fire and brimstone mission-ary zeal,
or because others have already borne similar wounds, and learned the folly
of projecting them when offering advice?
>WELL I WON'T DO IT.
That would be a classic statement of resistance... :)
So, you are angry at Goddess because She let your friends down and hurt
you? When will you begin to forgive Her, and yourself, and your friends,
and the yoga, and... whatever else.
>I would like for someone to take a very logical and realistic look at
>this particular issue.
Good heavens, since when do logic and K. go together? Even the other
Sean has already figgered out that the part of your brain that takes a
logical and realistic look at things, is mostly making masturbation noises.
In any case, what the many empaths on this list are commenting on, is the
energy of your post, rather than the words. You projected your trauma onto
her, excessively and deliberately.
>I can say that, given the experiences that I have had, that it would
>be irresponsible of me to not communicate to her what I did and how I
>did it.
So you beat yourself into action, with the whip of guilt over past
experiences, projected into the future... all while wearing the mask of
the hero...
That is the invasiveness. For you to play hero, she has to play
victim... your victim, victim of your good intentions. That is not a nice
projection for you to put on someone. Regardless of the excuses you give
yourself for the effort at control.
My sympathies with your trauma, Sean. Sometimes Goddess spanks, and it
leaves scars... but they are nothing that cannot be healed by that same
power, if you allow yourself to surrender. You recommended humility before
this power... is that the same as promoting fear and warnings about it? I
think not.
Blessings...
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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