To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/10/02 08:21
Subject: Re: to leslie and serena[K-list] Need Help - Severe Kundalini
From: Stella Maris Novillo
On 2001/10/02 08:21, Stella Maris Novillo posted thus to the K-list:
Dear friends. I have been practising for years The Zen Imaginery Exercises,
ordered by Shiatzu Master Shizuto Masunaga. He experienced, and it is what
he teaches, that those exercises we feel more comfortable are the ones we
more need. This seems to be the opposite to what some traditions in yoga
teach. Thanks to this way of practise I have felt how a real and deep
revolution takes place inside and outside us. Do you know this. Please let
me know.
Yours with love, César.
>From: SerenasblissATnospamaol.com
>To: K-list
>Subject: Re: [K-list] Need Help - Severe Kundalini
>Date: Thu, 27 Sep 2001 10:39:33 EDT
>
>Hi Leslee-
>
>I think you are in the right place and you will find great help here.
>I had some experiences in common with you and I'll share
>what I've learned so far... The process is really individual.
>
> > Here are my symptoms:
> >
> > 1. When I do my Hatha-style yoga routine, I often feel massive counter-
> > clockwise circles of energy at all chakras. Then I feel like I am just a
>huge
> > ball of energy, mixing with the world at large. This isn't a bad
>feeling,
>nor
> > does it feel like an illness; it feels like something else. I have to go
>into
> > Corpse Pose for moments after many poses so my body can "come back."
> > Additionally, I'm a huge "buzz" all the time. I feel like I can feel
>every
> > molecule moving in my body every moment.
>
>At times I've had to do the corpse pose after every pose, and really
>slow down the pace of my practice. Such energy reminds me that
>yoga isn't just a kind of exercise, but a really powerful way
>of meditating with and in the body.
>
>I have gotten intensely averse to doing poses at times
>(and when I pushed on anyway, I regretted it horribly
>as it brought mood swings, inability to focus,
>irritability and physical pain). I think an
>aversion to any particular pose or kind of practice is an
>important message.
>
>I have had so many yoga teachers say
>"the practice you don't want to do, is the one you really NEED to do."
>
>:-PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
>
>They just don't know what it is like to
>be running the max energy you can tolerate plus some already.
>Why do practices that will raise more energy when I've already
>got all I can handle?
>
> > 2. When I meditate, my left toe, left leg, and left hip invariably go
>numb
> > after a short period of time. By the end of a 40-minute meditation, the
> > whole
> > left toe/leg/hip complex feels completely dead. I can pound with all my
> > strength on my leg and not feel a thing for many minutes. I guess you
>could
> > call this complete temporary paralysis. Itzhak Bentov calls it a
> > physiological brain-cortex phenomenon that eventually leads the nervous
> > system to a higher state of evolution. That is, if you can get a handle
>on
>it
> > before permanent damage occurs.
>
>Wow, if we could blend your left leg with my right one, we'd have one
>normal leg. When something blocks my energy flow, it seems
>to back up down my right leg and it is jumpy electrical fire.
>
>I used to do long corpse pose meditations
>(45min-1 hour) that were about practicing death
>(don't ask me exactly why I needed to do this), and my
>body would get stiff and cold all over, particularly my extremities.
>My Higher Self told me this was part of the experience.
>
>I am assuming there is nothing about your meditational posture
>itself that causes this numbness... maybe I shouldn't assume.
>Sitting with anything pressing into
>the area where the leg joins my ass in back causes the kind
>of coldness and numbness you described. A meditation cushion
>used while meditating in any cross-legged sitting position
>can easily block enough nerve/blood flow to shut down the
>leg on one side. If this is happening, I can usually feel it right away
>and I just adjust my position on the cushion. The edge of the cushion or
>chair needs to run either directly under my sit-bones or
>else mid-thigh, to avoid this problem.
>
> > 3. I have variable pains occurring in my body, differing most every
>day,
> > with corresponding surges of energy seeming to go to those areas.
>Presently
> > my
> > neck is sore. Other times I've had intense pains in my shoulder blades
>and
> > back, legs, and my arms.
> >
>This is really classic for me. I think I get pain where some people
>say they get wonderful tingling sensations. Conscious rest periods help.
>
> > 4. I have not slept more than one and a half hours straight in over 3
>1/2
> > months. I try to force myself to go back to sleep after each waking.
>Last
> > night I didn't sleep more than 45 minutes straight because I was woke by
> > energy surges, giving me a total of 4 hours sleep. Even when I am
>totally
> > tired, the energy surges through my body anyway, keeping me awake. The
> > feeling is as if I drank 1000 cups of coffee, only I haven't had any or
>any
> > other outside stimuli.
>
>I have experienced this, but not often. Getting conscious rest
>was important for me. If I couldn't sleep, I could rest the body
>and practice acceptance of the energy surges... notice them
>and accept them. Letting go of sleep as the goal helped.
>Instead, I worked on rest. The corpse poses was/is good training.
> >
> > 5. I've been having a hard time focusing and I feel disoriented often,
> > probably because I'm not getting any sleep.
>
>I suffer the most from these symptoms when I am trying to
>force myself to do something I probably shouldn't be doing...
>when I spend time with people when I crave solitude,
>when I run around when I crave slowness/stillness, when I try
>to read/write/do something "productive" when I crave
>"nonproductivity" and simple animal-level pleasures.
>Learning not to fight what I really need and want has been
>really important for me.
> >
> > 6. I have an incredible, recurring ringing in my ears that can't be
>believed.
> > It's almost conversational in nature, and sometimes it even overpowers
> > outside sounds. It is hard to sleep sometimes because of this, too.
>
>I don't have this one, but I bet someone does.
>
>I get that conversational
>sense from wind in trees and a windy day in the park is usually enough
>to fling me into some kind of state.
> >
> > 7. I often feel like "something" is trying to communicate.
>
>I often take a pen and blank sheet of paper to hand and write down
>whatever words come to me. I don't judge, criticize or argue
>with whatever words come; I simply
>record. This is where I get my guidance and my answers.
>
> >
> > I am scared and pray for help.
> >
> > Leslee
>
>You aren't alone in any sense.
>
>I think I got scared and prayed for help just
>this morning. Isn't this normal? :-)
>
>Listening is perhaps more productive than praying/petitioning;
>so often my Higher Self has had to shout me down
>or more commonly wait me out, just to give me the
>insight I'm crying for...
>
>Serena_____________
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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