To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/09/29 16:39
Subject: Re: [K-list] Fw: Need Help - Severe Kundalini
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2001/09/29 16:39, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 01:42 AM 29/09/01, L. J. Klinsky wrote:
>I couldn't sleep at all because I'm having severe energy rushes. When
>I first woke from my 20-minutes of fitful sleep, it felt like all the
>information in the universe was being downloaded into my mind, way
>faster than I could comprehend. I couldn't hold on to any of the
>information.
Don't try. It will decode itself for you, when the time is right.
>. I still
>had too much energy. I tried full, slow breathing, but I could still
>feel my heartbeat pounding in every cell of my body.
That is excellent. When you feel your heartbeat like that, in every
cell of your body and the ends of your hair and your toenails and the chair
you sit on... that is the Grail. It is the heart chakra unified with the
physical heart, beating a Schuman resonance vibration of healing and
immortality. Don't resist it, or be frightened by it. It is your body
working to cleanse itself of karma. Fall into it, as a meditation.
When you have too much energy, try placing both palms flat on the floor
or the ground and sending the energy right into the Earth. Or, find
something creative to do with it.
Shakti needs a creative outlet, does not really matter what you do, so
long as it is creative. Although, cooking can be iffy, don't want to
release your karma into something someone will eat. Shakti is OK though.
I have many creative outlets. Much of the energy I ate after the 11th
got transmuted and redirected into webdesign. I also painted a carpet,
built a fanciful compost bin, made a rack to hold my belts, and wrote a lot
of stuff that I did not show anyone... any creative outlet will do. Writing
is good. I sew, garden, make candles, draw, paint, decorate, cook, make
masks and costumes, do photography, collages, ... whatever interests me.
Get some water paint, or even a pencil and a blank art pad, and just
play with the colors and let the energy come out through the brush. You do
not have to show anyone the results, take all pressure off yourself and
just let the body do the painting without your trying to control.
>Today I was in a state of complete bliss, feeling on top of the world,
>like I mattered, like my purpose was close at hand.
You matter. Your purpose is just to Be.
> Yoga and Pranayama felt great,
>too.
Hmmm...
>Then, I read the below message, and now I'm getting scared again. I
>really hope, Sean, that you won't mind me sharing your e-mail
>response,
Please do not forward private mail to the list without the authors
consent. Thank you.
>but I need to get as much information as I can as soon as I
>can. I certainly don't need to be frightened along with everything
>else that's happening to me.
I agree.
>I don't know any gurus around here who are K masters,
Nobody Masters K.. but there are many Shaktipat Masters here and
knowledgeable people. Also.. This community is a highly charged
cyberspace. Early on in the history of the list we discovered that some
posts from very charged people were vibrating with shakti, and less
awakened members reading would get a buzz. It would crash the servers
often, so I ended up building an alternate structure to handle the energy
separate from the posts. A thought form lighthouse was the result. It
handles the energy transactions and filters them, and also acts as a kind
of spiritual billboard. If someone is awakened and seeking community, and
comfort asks, the lighthouse will shine on them, and they can follow the
light to the shore of this community. To the group mind that has evolved
over the years. Being on the list accellerates peoples growth. No yoga
required.
>and I can't
>afford to go anywhere to find one.
Goddess has it handled.
> I would think that if Whoever's in
>Charge wanted me to evolve, then s/he would not destroy me in the
>process just because I'm doing some yoga and meditation (which is
>supposed to be good for the soul).
That is true.
> The below message seems to indicate
>that I could be doomed to insanity if I keep going like I am...
Sean, quit scaring the newbies. If you message needs to promote fear to
get attention, then perhaps you need to examine your motives. I do not
disagree with what you say, but how you say it.
One reason I do not recommend Gopi Krishna's books is because he is an
alarmist, and belief has a lot to do with K. experiences. If people are
worrying about having bad experiences, then they are more likely to create
bad experiences. Promoting fear does not serve.
Sean is essentially correct, although his delivery could have been
gentler. Your being unable to sleep tonight is likely related to your doing
yoga and pranayama today.
If you try to push K., it might get scary... pranayama is known for
bringing up a lot of unconscious issues. Specifically, it is considered
somewhat hazardous because it may bring up too much too fast. That way may
lead to psychosis.
You said you are willing to suffer, to grow. How much do you want to
suffer? Be careful what you pray for... *and* surrender your fear of
insanity. If Goddess wanted you crazy, then you would be crazy. Its a
pretty good guess, that is not what She has in mind.
One way to get past the fear of being insane, is to make up your mind
that you already are, and make peace with it. Consider; for all you know,
you could be locked up straight jacketed in a padded room dreaming all of
this. would it make a difference if you were? In a way, it is true.. this
world is a dream.
The basic discipline of Kundalini, is surrender. This energy is
infinitely more intelligent than the ego it seeks to erode. Trying to tell
it what to do is often foolish. K. will test your limits, and expand them.
Your own resistance will have you suffering. The process will take, as long
as it takes. Before you reach the end, even your desire to reach the goal
must be surrendered as baggage too heavy to carry any longer.
Do what you feel guided to do, in the moment. Don't push too hard, as
the energy you are pushing is bigger than the mind that wants to control
it. Don't trust "should" when giving or getting advice from someone inside
or outside. It is a judgment, a guilt producing idea that must come from
the ego, not the spirit.
It seems you are practicing some moderation, in stopping before it gets
too weird; but how weird it gets, sometimes gets away from you, eh? :) You
push it, it pushes back, harder... blissful highs and crashing lows. Like
an addiction, eh?
I can appreciate a good fire path, and the guts it takes to be on
one... but if you want to be stoking that much Shakti then you had better
learn to sit tight through the processing afterwards and not attach to any
of it. Like, not attaching to Sean's projected fears, etc. Trusting in the
wisdom of the energy will carry you through.
Hmm.. I think you are not understanding the process of what is happening
to you. think of your present state as an old, blocked pipe. When you do
your practices, you are pumping the handle of the well to get the water
<shakti, spiritual energy> flowing. The pipe is blocked, so there is a lot
of friction, shaking, rattling etc, when the water hits the blockages. As
the water starts to flow, it spews all the rust and gunk that is blocking
it. You end up unable to sleep because of all the processing going on as
the gunk spews out the top of your head and you get to feel the emotions of
it as it goes through your brain and gut on the way out. Much of it, is fear.
Eventually, the water pressure will completely clear the pipe, polish
it frictionless, shaped into a spiral. Then the pipe=you can handle a much
higher flow of energy, and it will flow smoothly and quiet, without
vibrating or spewing.
As Susan described, you may miss the intensity after the process has
done its work. The K. is mostly felt, when it has work to do. I am a
healer, and when I take on karma and stuff from other people, my K. stirs
itself to deal with it. It responds to other things too, music, etc...
dancing waves of bliss... but the stuff like you are feeling now, is
processing in action. Learn to sit tight in the center and let it go by
without attaching importance to it. Let your mind be filled with your
heartbeat and your ringing ears.
>Please, all, I pray for honest feedback as soon as possible. Do you
>all think I should quit doing yoga and meditation? They're the only
>authentic things going in my life right now...
If you just stop the yoga and pranayama, after a while your K. will slow
down, and perhaps go quiet.. then it will come back in a whole new way,
following its natural path of unfolding. The forced grown, hothouse plants
are weak, eh? Like your instability. The plants that grow naturally, are
stronger. If you surrender control of the process, it will change and
become much better. It will still take you to extremes, but at its own
pace. Following a higher wisdom. Surrender the practices. Goddess will give
them back if they serve, or give you back something better.
It seems that you are on a path that projects love and light to
everyone? Stop doing that, and your moods will become more stable. There is
a fractal of the entire universe, in your heart. Love that, instead.
Antoine described it beautifully;
>There is a softness in the heart that shines like a sun.
>Its a fire at the horizon of the sky and the sea
There are many planets, many seas, but only one sky. :) Below the
heart, projecting love to others seems to make sense, because they are
there to be loved... but at the horizon of the heart chakra, and the
chakras/universes/dimension above, there is only One of us and it is all of
us and there is not other to project anything to. If you try to create
separation by loving another instead of being love, then you fall from grace.
Blessings...
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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