To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/09/18 22:35
Subject: [K-list] Laura's questions and on depression
From: Cleocatras

Dear Laura,

Glad you are back with us. I did miss you.
you wrote:
> any wisdom on how to have faith in a crisis of faith? any wisdom on how to
> calm the mind and body and ease it away from the waking picture shows and
> suggestions of self harm? no matter how many times i go through this, i
> don't feel much wiser to the process....just a little more aware and/or
> jaded each time.

There was one time in my life I went into a catatonic state. It was the day I
found out how temporary human love really is, after I had designed it as
forever. At the very bottom of the deep black hole, past every imaginable
experience of what humans can do to each other in terror and suffering, past
every imaginable injustice, there awaited the shadowy guide who
said,"suffering is only a perception. There is no light without it shining
against darkness. No darkness without knowing the light." And at that
juncture, I tumbled into the void of nothingness, my sensation of self
evaperated.

I had no idea how many days went by, but at least a week to ten days. Long
enough for a relative to come looking for me and shake me until I snapped out
of it. After coming to, the backlash of responsibilities hit me in the face,
and trying to catch up was double strenuous, because I now realized it was
all an illusion.

What keeps you going and keeps you out of the black pit of depression?
Your most loved things. Your loved ones. The Innocent who depend on you.
Children who love you.
Your list of feel good things. Your photo albums. Your favorite music... and
sometimes
the garden or just plain chop wood, carry water simplicity.

Chocolate, the birds singing, strawberry shortcake and your favorite
icecream. Looking at the stars. Your favorite perfume, Bethoven, a new puppy.
Flowers about to bloom, or new ones to be planted, baby chicks about to
hatch, and ducklings who cry until they are fed.

Babies crying, a mother who needs a safe home, a kitten who needs rescued, a
rape
victim who needs someone to talk to. Volunteer work at the crisis unit, a
voice in the
darkness crying for help, as... you know it could just as well be you.
 
And, remembering the experience in the void, you realize... it IS you.

Blessed We are ALL, and All are We.

Cat

http://www.kundalini-gateway.org

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