To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/09/18 01:51
Subject: Re: [K-list] Bully Reputation
From: José H
On 2001/09/18 01:51, José H posted thus to the K-list:
Dear Mystress,
No need to apologize for being human - you are, as well as divine, like we
all are.
José
> At 08:24 AM 17/09/01, Paul Perner wrote:
> > > shaken by what happen to the *people* in New York, I feel
> > > stung by the tone of your post. It's another, cold, "America
> > > got what it had coming" kind of message that has been
> > > driving wedges through lists lately.
> > >
> >
> >It was almost 3:00 AM when I wrote that. I was tired and cranky. On
> >refection, I don't feel any wedge from Mystress. Please accept my
apologies.
>
> Yes, like wise.
>
> A week ago, almost I wrote that I was being drawn to process the
fear
> and rage... since then I have not posted much, deeply involved in a trip
> through Hades and really not wanting to spew the contents at anyone. Kind
> of like how someone who knows they are a werewolf might lock themselves up
> at the approaching full moon lest they shred someone. Some of it got
> away... sorry about that.
>
> One of my beloveds read it rightly:
>
> >The flack on the k-list distressed
> >me, as did Mystress's rant post. My intuition tells me
> >she is simply eating such massive amounts of karma
> >from the terrorists and the energy backlash that it is
> >not entirely controllable and so she's mirroring how
> >they feel directly to the opposite feeling aroused in
> >Americans
>
> Yes, yes, yes.
>
> Trying so hard not to, gagging the alpha wolf to be respectful of
grief
> and dealing with a vicious recurring headache from peoples attachment to
> the drama. Issues they don't want to surrender, caught in me... me caught
> in Hades. It has been a very rough week.
>
> I have been facing off with the consciousness group ego archetype that
> is "American" that comes over people and shuts them off from crown chakra
> unity and being able to see things from a higher perspective, It occurs
> when they switch to thinking of themselves as "WE" as in "WE the people of
> the United States of America, yadda yadda" ... the constitutional bible
> dogma mind instead of being individual human beings. That is the "wedge" I
> am seeing. The part of you that reacted. Switching from being One to being
> us and them.
>
> Having it trigger my own, smaller but valiant "Canadian" group
> socialist/pacifist ego and getting caught in stuff messed up the process
> considerably.
>
> Overwhelmed, yes... ouch ouch ouch. ACK nowhere to spew.. I need a
barf
> bucket to hold it all this ...
> karma vampire bit off more than she can chew or in any way digest
karma
> vampire bulimia know how bad it tastes after you keep swallowing it over
> and over trying to keep it in? Sorry to barf on you.
>
> That is why I have not been posting, I have lost control, it keeps
> trying to come out aimed back where it came from, as an "Ugly American"
> shadow mirror characterization that would leave scars from where the flesh
> was ripped away. I am resistant to doing that to the people I love. There
> are a lot of people whom I love, who are american.
>
> I have been reluctant to do an energy "Return to sender", let alone
> allow a rant to escape, because even on an energy level they are
sometimes
> felt as an attack.
>
> Today I have gained some calm because I started to send the stuff that
> won't clear back to where it came in small packages. I was mostly turning
> it inwards before. Digging within to change the world by changing inside
of
> myself. What was related in some way to my own stuff I think is resolved
> and what remains is that which I have taken on from other people who do
not
> want to let it go.
>
> I guess, if referring to the spiritual concept of karma is the same as
>
> > "America
> > got what it had coming"
>
> Then I guess that is what I said... bearing in mind that my comment
> came about as a result of overwhelm From doing Karma vampire red cross
> triage on the situation to a point well beyond my limits.
>
> Americans do not want to see the shadow side of their collective ego
> that I have been getting to know so well. Yet, they must, to grow... we
all
> must, it is part of the path. The Shadow knows where the karma lies, that
> must be cleared.
>
> But, it is a harsh teacher. My refusing to allow it express it self
> that brings me pain. My expressing it would bring even more pain. Pain is
> how we grow? Ouch. I must be doing a lot of growing because my whole being
> hurts.
>
> There were many who foresaw this event, it is even depicted in movies
> and on an album cover. It is as Goddess Wills. When bad things happen to
> good people.. people on a spiritual path are well advised to look within
at
> the patterns of their own karma. What part of themselves attracted this
> event into their lives? Nations have karma, too. Nations have egos.
>
> Bush announces a war against evil... I look deep into his statement
> and I get too much information. Too much knowing of karma-ego patterns of
> the american collective, too much perception of what violence is yet to
> come. Too much for me, he can have it all back.
>
> I find it interesting how this statement arouses no comment on a
> spiritual list, where many of us have totally surrendered the concept of
> it, in favor of love and surrender. We have all shut down in the higher
> centers?
> Writing this post has given me a pounding headache.
>
> >Another frustration was the scene at the candle light vigil Friday night.
> >It started
> >out with a tiny handful of us (the "North Hollywood Candle Project"). The
> >idea was for it to remain a mourning and peace focused event, but as the
> >evening wore on, a crowd of people arrived who turned it into a flag
> >waving, screaming free for all.
>
> Sounds like the exact recurring pattern of all of the rants in my
> outbox. They start out sweet and change to what you describe. What I have
> been clearing. Trying to clear... but they will not surrender it, cannot
> let go of it so the karmic pattern must unfold itself into events.
>
> >I thinking of changing the name of the project to "Reason Not Rage." R
'n
> >R for
> >short. (goes with "rock 'n roll.") That might help get the message
through.
> >
> >Much Love,
> >
> > Paul
>
> People who are enraged, are also deaf and usually quite unreasonable.
> Much love to you too..
>
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