To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/09/17 22:04
Subject: Re: [K-list] Bully Reputation
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2001/09/17 22:04, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 08:24 AM 17/09/01, Paul Perner wrote:
> > shaken by what happen to the *people* in New York, I feel
> > stung by the tone of your post. It's another, cold, "America
> > got what it had coming" kind of message that has been
> > driving wedges through lists lately.
>
>It was almost 3:00 AM when I wrote that. I was tired and cranky. On
>refection, I don't feel any wedge from Mystress. Please accept my apologies.
Yes, like wise.
A week ago, almost I wrote that I was being drawn to process the fear
and rage... since then I have not posted much, deeply involved in a trip
through Hades and really not wanting to spew the contents at anyone. Kind
of like how someone who knows they are a werewolf might lock themselves up
at the approaching full moon lest they shred someone. Some of it got
away... sorry about that.
One of my beloveds read it rightly:
>The flack on the k-list distressed
>me, as did Mystress's rant post. My intuition tells me
>she is simply eating such massive amounts of karma
>from the terrorists and the energy backlash that it is
>not entirely controllable and so she's mirroring how
>they feel directly to the opposite feeling aroused in
>Americans
Yes, yes, yes.
Trying so hard not to, gagging the alpha wolf to be respectful of grief
and dealing with a vicious recurring headache from peoples attachment to
the drama. Issues they don't want to surrender, caught in me... me caught
in Hades. It has been a very rough week.
I have been facing off with the consciousness group ego archetype that
is "American" that comes over people and shuts them off from crown chakra
unity and being able to see things from a higher perspective, It occurs
when they switch to thinking of themselves as "WE" as in "WE the people of
the United States of America, yadda yadda" ... the constitutional bible
dogma mind instead of being individual human beings. That is the "wedge" I
am seeing. The part of you that reacted. Switching from being One to being
us and them.
Having it trigger my own, smaller but valiant "Canadian" group
socialist/pacifist ego and getting caught in stuff messed up the process
considerably.
Overwhelmed, yes... ouch ouch ouch. ACK nowhere to spew.. I need a barf
bucket to hold it all this ...
karma vampire bit off more than she can chew or in any way digest karma
vampire bulimia know how bad it tastes after you keep swallowing it over
and over trying to keep it in? Sorry to barf on you.
That is why I have not been posting, I have lost control, it keeps
trying to come out aimed back where it came from, as an "Ugly American"
shadow mirror characterization that would leave scars from where the flesh
was ripped away. I am resistant to doing that to the people I love. There
are a lot of people whom I love, who are american.
I have been reluctant to do an energy "Return to sender", let alone
allow a rant to escape, because even on an energy level they are sometimes
felt as an attack.
Today I have gained some calm because I started to send the stuff that
won't clear back to where it came in small packages. I was mostly turning
it inwards before. Digging within to change the world by changing inside of
myself. What was related in some way to my own stuff I think is resolved
and what remains is that which I have taken on from other people who do not
want to let it go.
I guess, if referring to the spiritual concept of karma is the same as
> "America
> got what it had coming"
Then I guess that is what I said... bearing in mind that my comment
came about as a result of overwhelm From doing Karma vampire red cross
triage on the situation to a point well beyond my limits.
Americans do not want to see the shadow side of their collective ego
that I have been getting to know so well. Yet, they must, to grow... we all
must, it is part of the path. The Shadow knows where the karma lies, that
must be cleared.
But, it is a harsh teacher. My refusing to allow it express it self
that brings me pain. My expressing it would bring even more pain. Pain is
how we grow? Ouch. I must be doing a lot of growing because my whole being
hurts.
There were many who foresaw this event, it is even depicted in movies
and on an album cover. It is as Goddess Wills. When bad things happen to
good people.. people on a spiritual path are well advised to look within at
the patterns of their own karma. What part of themselves attracted this
event into their lives? Nations have karma, too. Nations have egos.
Bush announces a war against evil... I look deep into his statement
and I get too much information. Too much knowing of karma-ego patterns of
the american collective, too much perception of what violence is yet to
come. Too much for me, he can have it all back.
I find it interesting how this statement arouses no comment on a
spiritual list, where many of us have totally surrendered the concept of
it, in favor of love and surrender. We have all shut down in the higher
centers?
Writing this post has given me a pounding headache.
>Another frustration was the scene at the candle light vigil Friday night.
>It started
>out with a tiny handful of us (the "North Hollywood Candle Project"). The
>idea was for it to remain a mourning and peace focused event, but as the
>evening wore on, a crowd of people arrived who turned it into a flag
>waving, screaming free for all.
Sounds like the exact recurring pattern of all of the rants in my
outbox. They start out sweet and change to what you describe. What I have
been clearing. Trying to clear... but they will not surrender it, cannot
let go of it so the karmic pattern must unfold itself into events.
>I thinking of changing the name of the project to "Reason Not Rage." R 'n
>R for
>short. (goes with "rock 'n roll.") That might help get the message through.
>
>Much Love,
>
> Paul
People who are enraged, are also deaf and usually quite unreasonable.
Much love to you too..
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