To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/09/12 14:31
Subject: [K-list] More about empathy phenomenon
From: Denise Lyon Anding
On 2001/09/12 14:31, Denise Lyon Anding posted thus to the K-list:
Some folks just wrote asking me some interesting questions concerning their own experience with this phenomenon. Interesting that one commented about choosing to rotate their energy counterclockwise and found it helpful. Well, you know, didn't actually consciously think about doing that same thing - yet, upon reflection, that is exactly what Spirit led me to do. Just always called it "leading to the left." (one must have humor - it keeps us going - for the next stage to come after the tragedy).
Also, have often been led by Spirit to be the odd duck refusing to do what everyone else is doing - like swimming downstream in a group .... usually end up playing the role of salmon swimming upstream.... sometimes that current can get rough ... but always seem to get to my intended destination in spite of it. So, now, in light of this interesting comment from another member (the business of turning my focus to the left rather than diving into the mob emotion), find it intriguing how the Universe moves us, each in different directions, sometimes only one, sometimes a group - all in an effort to create balance.
Sometimes, we are accused of being cold and unfeeling by others who demand that we scream and wail to the same levels - that having some control over our own self is a bad thing. Well, like one member was writing of their hurt at this reaction, maybe people need to get it that we all feel and are meant to feel differently in order to create the balance needed - often for those very same complaining wailers!
Empathy can be overwhelming when in the throes of it. There was a time when, frankly, I just couldn't get out of bed - it was so strong. Then one day, rather exasperated, not a very good patient and a person who prefers to be action oriented, I fussed at Spirit, "Look, I really don't mind You sharing and all that, but you're just wearing me out! What do I have to do to lessen all this pain!? How long is this going to go on!? What can I do to make you feel better so I will too? - (enlightened self interest!) - Will you quit already! I know you're upset - but just what do you expect only 'me' to do about it?"
... nothing like that little ol' universal Law of Ask and Receive springing into action... Spirit was delighted I finally asked - and here I thought I was just being a jerk - the cultural guilt meter was clanging loudly - because that frustration led me to the next stage of development in the understanding of empathy and how it works, manifests, balances, lives in/with us. You know, it's nice when God shares with me/us but sometimes it's just a bit much....
Spirit took me out of "hyper mode" of intense focus on that pain and began pointing my awareness to that which balances us - like humor and that unfathomable peace and - even a time of tension release in the form of giggle giddiness and a desire to run out and play - all of these kind of things Spirit sends to help us regain our balance... and have found those balancing energies were actually there all along in partnership with the empathy, running in the background.... it was like it was a full service package but I had only opened up one part of the whole set... hello!...
Spirit wants to share but not break us. That sharing - to me - is how the Universe helps us to understand and better relate to it. Hey, and even hugged/and hung out with quite a few trees in my time - seem to be partial to maples...
Then there was a question from a member about if sleeping heavier had anything to do with empathy and tragedy.... well, to me, yes... in the early stages of understanding this - while I was too patient and not demanding enough of Spirit to fuss about it and move on to the next stage - found it plain exhausting. For rest, Spirit would send me into deep meditation - either that or didn't want to hear me fussing about it all! - grin - and then sometimes would loose awareness and literally pass out and wake up later - usually about 3 hours - feeling totally refreshed but with a new layer of depth and awareness. Over time figured out that deep sleeping was really about "processing the new awareness." Lots of deep sleeping.... and tragedy would trigger the empathy and empathy would trigger the deep sleep and what a cycle... besides exhausting ... found it too limiting.
So, by the time I figured out that I wasn't exactly much use to others in this cycle, Spirit started riveting my focus upon balancing all this energy through "turning to the left" and that unfathomable peace. I found it a curious place - perhaps because it was just new to me - but felt light years stronger and much more clear and therefore better at balancing the situations around me.
Do I still feel the pain? Yes, very much ... but have learned it isn't going to "hurt" me and is really an alarm bell to tell me to go into action and begin balancing folks/situation. It is possible to place pain as a "program running in the background." Takes a bit of practice but have found I can do just about anything by applying myself - by placing just one foot in front of the other and then the next step and the next... It isn't glamorous or "special" and spectacular - and sometimes downright plodding, but hey, it works - as simple and consistent process as it is.
Another feeling that I've found tends to go along with this empathy - usually in time of tragedy - is one of that visceral fear - to me it manifests in the lower abdomen and rises up a bit to give the feeling of being terribly nauseated... I'm feeling it right now and just plain ignoring it in the way of forcing it into the background... it tells me that folks are still very shook up and not feeling safe, even those who were nowhere near the attack. After all, think about it, there are about 300 million people in the USA - that's a lot of energy to balance when it is out of balance... and that doesn't even include folks from so many other countries who are feeling so much of the very same feelings...
It took many years for me to learn to separate what feelings were actually "me" or coming from perhaps a large group of people or from Spirit in sharing mode.... relieved to realize I wasn't as screwed up as I thought I was ... just about connectedness to the whole ...
Sure, there were times when I let others convince me to jump into the collective mob emotion - and drowned in it. Didn't like it - drowning - much and asked Spirit was there anything I could do about it. Spirit taught me to think my way through it - while still very much feeling the intense pain - and use my will to create decisions that would bring balance. It feels good to be clear - while still feeling this intensity of pain and fear - and still be able to act. What a paradox ...This is one mysterious universe...
Hope this helps you help your own self.... used to sure find this phenomenon frustrating... now am comfortable with it all and just "go with the flow" and quit listening to others who criticize without understanding.
Love to you all,
Denise
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