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To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/08/27 04:37
Subject: [K-list] Re: Concepts of God(dess)
From: Autumn Wild

On 2001/08/27 04:37, Autumn Wild posted thus to the K-list:


Hi Jason,

Thank you so much for your reply. It feels so nice to feel heard and
understood. I found much comfort, from your post, thank you.

>I am asking this formless, awesome, infathomable State of Being, for
>help- -and offering it an illusion to jump into with which to guide
>me.
>
but I can't Ask Goddess for
>Guidance, because my "Goddess" concept is not in existance unless I
>force it- -and I can't Force GOddess. That's just stupid. ;0)

Yes, this exactly how I feel at the moment. I want/wanted to believe, but
my concepts where covering what I truly felt. Ironically, this omnipresent
force is shifting all of the layers I have about this whole God thing and I
can no longer fool myself any longer.
> > The words that were resounding in my head the other night, was "I
>believe in
> > me"....
>
>Right now I"m wondering how on earth i can trust myself. I used to
>think that Goddess was guiding me and protecting me and soothing- -it
>was bliss. Vibrant, ecstatic bliss, the times when I Knew that....
For me, the layers that are starting to shift are the recognition that
"God/dess" is not separate from me. 'Believing in me' is my way of stating
I am not separate from source.
If you were able to surrender trust to Goddess in the past, nothing has
changed except you now realize that you are not separate. We all know this
intellectually, but knowing this deep down where it counts, is a different
kettle of fish. Believing in yourself is believing in Goddess. Trusting
that deeper part of you, those intuitions and instincts. Body spirituality.


>Where from here?" I ask myself.... MySelf is silent, because I am
>Deaf with no Goddess to guide me........
>
>and yet.. . .?? something shimmers. quietly.

Yes, something is definatly shimmering quietly, ..... although not so
quietly at times, *smile*

Autumn


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