To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/08/17 12:44
Subject: Re: [K-list] Laura
From: LK
On 2001/08/17 12:44, LK posted thus to the K-list:
Lovely Cat, thank you so much for writing this, you spoke right to my core.
I am 27 years old and I have just learned this lesson (thank God-dess, what
a great relief it is, that I don't have to feel pressured by or morph into
other people's desires and perceptions of me out of care!)...think that is
why I recently had conflict with my folks. I thorougly stood up for myself
for the first time in years...only prob is that I was clumsy at it and had
an overflow of anger since I had not fully surrendered all of my stuff, as
Angelique kindly reminded me, before it happened.
I am really into this judo/aikido idea of redirecting instead of blocking,
but jeez louise, redirecting while in situation reminds me of people who
practice martial arts sets day to day to be prepared for the endless
possibilities of a match. This is getting easier with surrender, as there
are less target markers in my being.
anyway, thanks,
affectionately,
laura
Cat wrote:
>Your parents are not the final opinion about who you are. They are not >the
>expert on who you are. However, the parent /child relationship is
>instinctually designed for the child to become what is dictated to >them --
>by default.
>Silent judo:"Since I am not those things that you say I am, are you >saying
>these things because you want me to believe you and become >them?" See the
>illusion?
>Step out of the illusion. Don't include yourself in someone else's
> >fantasy, and it extinguishes their belief and disarms them. The words
> >are not about you at all, therefore not yours to answer to, to address
> >or respond. No reason to feed the illusion except to perpetuate its
> >potential to be real.
>
>People say negative things to perpetuate the interaction. They can be
>habitual, without thinking or realizing. Challenging you to play the >game
>is habitual. It's not your game, so dont play. Remember, if there >is no
>one to play with, chances are they will stop playing, >eventually. The
>habit will die away. Redirecting is also another >option. You can replace
>the interaction with something more pleasant >for both of you.
>Blessings,
>Cat
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