To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/08/17 09:23
Subject: [K-list] Music Poll Results (Part III)
From: Druout
On 2001/08/17 09:23, Druout posted thus to the K-list:
Part III
**********
The End of a Shamanic Death/rebirth Quest
I lay down for meditation, just as the sun was going down. I spoke to
Greenman/my husband/my Master. I said, "If it isn't over, that's good.
Whatever you will. If it is over, that's good. Whatever you will." He
said, "This life is a vision quest. As well as a service."
I felt my mind fishing for a word, the right word. Then I heard a soprano
voice (with orchestra), singing Mimi's area from "La Boheme" about her life
making flowers in her attic room - the part where she tells of the glory of
being up there when spring comes.
"Ma, cuando vien lo sgelo,
Il primo sole e mio,
Il primo bacio del Aprile
E mio...."
"But when spring comes,
The first sun is mine,
The first kiss of April
Is mine..."
Then it went into:
"Anges purs, anges radieux,
Portez mon ame au sein des cieux!
Dieu juste, a toi je m'abandonne!
___ ____ ____, pardonne!"
"Pure angels, radiant angels,
Take my soul to heaven!
Just God, to thee I abandon myself!
______ Pardon!"
[The words wouldn't come for the last line. Every time, I just heard the
music and then "pardonne!" Turns out the words in the opera are "Dieu bon,
je suis a toi, pardonne!" "Good God, I am yours, pardon!"
This is from the opera _Faust_, the story of the man who sold his soul to
the devil for knowledge. At the end Marguerite, his love, is damned by
her actions and condemned, lying sick and half crazy in a prison cell.
Faust comes and wants her to run away with him, but she refuses.
Mephistopheles, the devil, is there listening and gloating. She sees him
and desperately appeals to the angels.
In the opera she sings these same words over and over, and every time the
music moves into a higher key - it's magnificent. The angels take her soul to
heaven - the prison walls open and she floats upward. An angelic choir is
singing.]
It went on, over and over. "Anges purs, anges radieux." I think I was
forgiving myself. And I forgave him. I sang, "Or gli perdono." "Now I
forgive him." When Tosca kills Scarpia, she watches him die, shouting,
"Muori, Muori!" "Die, die!" He dies, and then she sings, "Or gli
perdono."
"Anges purs, anges radieux." And Michael was here. I could hardly believe
it! So radiant and beautiful! And I think I was aware of Lucifer too,
more in the background. At some point, one or both of them took me down
below again...
Hearing words from over the gate of Hell in Dante, "Lasciate ogni speranza,
tutti..." "Abandon all hope, all [you who enter here]." I started saying,
"Tutti perdono. Tutti, tutti, tutti perdono." "I pardon all." Forgiving
everyone in Hell, everyone on Earth - this Earth is Hell.
I was hearing "Anges purs...", the whole thing, moving into lower keys, as
I went deeper and deeper. Back on the floor with the light shining through
the holes.
Michael, the one with the flaming sword, and Lucifer, the king of Hell.
Then I realized that they're both angels! "Anges purs, anges radieux!"
Light and dark, both radiant angels! Lucifer, the light-bearer! I loved
them both.
This Earth is Hell, and it must be Heaven too. Paradise! Eden! And a
voice said, "It is so. It is to come." "Anges purs..."
Then I realized that the Grail is below the floor of Hell. It's where the
light is coming from. So it's above too. (In Dante you have to go through
the lowest point of Hell to get to Heaven.) And then I think I felt that
the Grail was in my heart. I heard "Cor Leone." "Heart of the Lion."
Heard it at several different times during this...
I think I was reaching out to everyone on Earth and loving and forgiving,
until they all felt like a sphere around the earth, and then the whole
Earth. Somehow it got to where I was seeing the whole Earth and forgiving
and loving. "Anges purs..." And I looked out and I was talking to all
those higher powers out there, I was Gaia calling to the rest - Sirius and
Deneb Adige and all of them. I was hearing the music, and I was saying the
words too, calling them to the rest of the universe. And crying.
"Anges purs, anges radieux,
Portez mon ame au sein des cieux!
Dieu juste, a toi je m'abandonne!
___ ____ ____, pardonne!"
I saw the Grail then, very large in the sky. It morphed; it was an ornate
chalice, and the cauldron of Cerridwen, and a pitcher. And it tipped and
poured out over the whole Earth. The pitcher of the water-bearer, Aquarius!
When I got up, I stepped out onto my patio in back. Because of the city
lights, I couldn't tell whether the sunset was over or not. The trees were
beautiful - this world is beautiful! But my garden needs some work...
So it's over, and it isn't over.
**********
...I suddenly became aware of the record which I had put on simply for
background music. It turned out to be the last part of the Enigma Variations
which was to be followed later by the Fantasia on a theme of Thomas Tallis by
Vaughan Williams (how ironic are those two titles; fantasia and enigma
indeed). At that time neither of those pieces were favourites of mine, it
just happened to be the record I pulled out. The music began to sound like
nothing I had ever heard before or since.
It was as though the music was trying to make me aware of IT. It permeated my
consciousness in ways that words cannot describe...
The music had reached a degree of profound beauty which I had never known or
thought could have existed. In so attaining I somehow relaxed into it, a
kind of letting go of objective observation. I gave a kind of unusual sigh
and an outward exhalation of breath like a long AHH; and just as I did so -
everything vanished, instantaneously, just like creation being switched off
by the throw of a switch. ...
At the very instant of ‘going’ it was as though my ears had been turned
inside out; for at one instant the music was objective, on the outside, and
the next instant it was taking place ‘all around’, for there was no inside
and outside as such. Nevertheless it was as though the music was passing
through the point (which I was) like waves on a pond and each wave was of
greater emotional charge than the one before it; as though each wave was
preparing me for the next wave, and building up into... into I did not know
what. In some respects it was like being kidnapped by divine music,
perfection; the only thing that existed in creation was myself and the music.
It was as though the ‘AHH’ was still going on but going on in the vastness
of the space of the mind alone. It become a reality in which there was no
dualistic reference between myself and music, but as though there was only ‘I
AM the music’ in a dance, a swoon, of excitement, awe, and wonder. After an
immeasurable duration of time that piece of music ended, and there was a
stillness and quiet as cannot be described. I did not question (at that
point) that I had no body or existence other than awareness of being.
Neither would I have had the time to think of such things for the next piece
of music began. To say that the next piece of music began is the
understatement of all time. It did not begin, it flowed. It flowed out of
nothingness, like... like I know not what.
Within a few seconds of the music emanating into my consciousness there came
the most frightening experience I have ever known in my life, before or
since. The passion and beauty of the sounds were such that my mind went...
bang ! I blew up, fell apart, exploded, or so it seemed. ...
I could see what can only be described as streaked out dots of light which I
was expanding into and flying through like a supernova. ...My mind gradually
stopped expanding and I metaphorically gave a sigh of relief; but there was
no breath or lungs with which to do it.
At that point it was as if I were in a kind of unbounded dome of blackness,
and I consisted of nothing except a point of consciousness with no boundary
or duration, no form; just consciousness. I could see what appeared to be
tiny points of light coming into and out of existence all over the space
which I existed within. ... The dots of light that seemed to be coming into
and out of existence as far as one could see suddenly turned into the music
which I could hear, and I could not only hear the music but now also see it.
There are no words to describe such music made of light. It is a vision
which unlike other vision cannot be recreated by imagination within the mind
from hindsight; it can only be seen and known at the time of the event. I
saw the music flowing toward me. It was in colours such that we know and
some that we do not know. The essential quality of the light was equal to
that of the sound of the music. The light itself and the colours were not
different things as we tend to know coloured light by reflections or as
sources of light emanating from a certain point. The music was the light,
the colour was the light. It did not flow from anything except uncreated
into created. The fear that I had experienced throughout the expansion or
whatever it was had now gone and there was nothing but I and the music which
I was now within: I became the music; there was not an I and an it. As this
event continued I became aware that I ‘KNEW’ the music. That is to say that
I knew it backwards, forwards, inside out, one note at a time or all at once;
and I could see it anyway I wanted to see it. I could become the melody,
which I did; I could become the harmony, which I did. I could be one note or
the whole piece of the music. ...
Whilst this divine dance of music in unison was going on I become aware that
I was of two natures somehow enshrined in one. There came a point whilst I
was swimming in this light and music when I became aware that I was looking
at myself objectively, and it did not seem strange at the time. ‘Myself’
did not consist of a body but only of light, but I knew it was me...
At this point ... I was only really concerned about the love of the reality
itself, the music, the sound, the vision, the event itself, for it was indeed
a divine dance of the spheres. ... As to how long this music and light
experience lasted is impossible to say''
[For the full version of this experience, please see
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/emcaf/files/Unitive%20Experiences/The%20Paradise
%20Event.rtf ]
END
Thanks to all who took part! :))
Love, Hillary
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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