To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/08/11 05:56
Subject: [K-list] Jason
From: Cleocatras
On 2001/08/11 05:56, Cleocatras posted thus to the K-list:
Jason writes,
> Subject: small requesting. . ..
>
> *quietly* dear all,
>
> I beg that you forgive my ranting. And my whining. I appologize
> ahead of time....
This feeling you need forgiveness is not about us, it's about you. Forgive
yourself...
> to any and all on the list who would choose to respond. .??
>
> I have given very very little to this place- -and it seems odd of me
> to ask, just now, for what I would ask. . .
>
> a thousand answers bound within my mind, and I let them go as they
> each wrap around me in their gossamer multitude, working themselves
> deeper to aide me as I reach for them . .
>
> I would like to- -um. . I would like to request a bit of
> healing. . .? please. any healing. . .for myself. a prayer, a
> blessing, a nano-second of a thought-sent smile. . .Anything. . .
>
> I have tried to write myself out three times now, with no success- -
> and two of those times was to this list . . *gently* I am lost, and
> my heart is fizzing in a way that makes me wish to cry, badly. . . I
> think I might, though I am tired.
Crying is healing. Crying is surrender to what is, letting go, acceptance...
Crying can bring about resolve.
I want to shout out or simply
> speak, of a hundred things that I might begin the letting go of them-
> -but cannot just now beacuse the words, they hide.
Your thoughts do not have to be in the form of words or even pictures, for
that matter. They do not have to be "writable". If you need to write them
down while you write your thoughts, draw symbols for them, but do not be
confused because they are beyond words. Language is limit. God/dess, and the
God/dess within is limitless, wordless... Knowledge from God/dess is
infinate, it can come to you as wordless, imageless... as pure energy or
light.
I burn inside to
> talk, and to rest in arms- -and I am so- - - frustrated, and alone. .
> I feel alone. . . I feel lost and found at the same time- - and know
> that this , too, shall pass- -but am hurting and lost and rather
> afraid. Something turns within me, working to change- -and I am . .
> Afraid. Just afraid. Just another type of resistance, and Goddess
> IS with me- -*smiles, softly* Patiently waiting, I am sure, outside
> of my damned , self-imposed bubble. . .
Surrender to it and you will not feel alone. Alone is ego resisting surrender
to God/dess. Alone is willfulness, separatism, attachment to ego self.
> *a soft sigh, shiver, and hugs self* But I'm scared, and it hurts- -
> and oh- -I almost forogt. I feel very- -um. . .alone. and there's
> more... *laughs, gently* butI couldn't say if I wanted to. It's
> profound,
Profound and wordless, full of light and intense energy, unexplainable.
Beyond anything you have experienced before... and surrender is to know you
are this energy, surrender, let go, be this profound and wordless, full of
light and intense energy, the unexplainable...
and I'm just being a bloody whiner. . . . I want to ball
> up and go to sleep and wake up, realizing that it's alright. (which
> it is.. . .but--oh, balls!! I'm contradicting myself, again!!).
>
> And I realize suddenly how hillarious this is- me, sitting here,
> sharing this with you- - and at the same time, it's reality. :0)
> Now i understand the sense of humour. please, all of you, please,
> forgive me my whining.
>
>
> but- -please, also. . *quietly* and Thankyou. anything will do,
> and Goddess has it handled. . .so I suppose that those who are meant
> to find the meaning behind my ridiculous ranting, will do so. . .
Been there. been ass laminated, err assimilated... surrendered.
> gods- -help. . and I thankyou.. *smiles, softly*
>
> hugs, and Thankyous. .
> Jason~
Not so different from myself, in fact, quite one of the same one, all is one.
I am ass laminated, surrendered and not lonely anymore...
Love energy to you,
Cat
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
DISCLAIMER!
Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe
K. List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.
symbol.