To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/07/30 00:50
Subject: Re: [K-list] shamanic initation
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2001/07/30 00:50, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 08:04 PM 7/29/01 -0700, joyful fairy wrote:
>This is kind of weird and I don't know where to go with it. I've been given
>*hints* that what I'm going through is a shamanic initation thing, thru this
>disease that I have. At first I was rather peeved by the whole thing, I
>mean, what if ~I~ don't want to be a shaman? LOL!
Be one or die. If what you are going through is genuine Shamanic
initiation sickness, then there is some risk that it will be fatal if you
do not surrender to being trained by the spirits to become a Shaman.
>Anyway, of course, I surrendered my little will about it, and if the
>initation ends up killing me {which sure seems possible sometimes},
About 1/3 of the time, that happens.
>it
>doesn't matter too much to me anymore. I surrendered all my life and my
>death too. Was that the point? ya' think? :)
Yep. You also have to surrender to being taught. Active surrender,
surrendering to following the actions you are being guided to do.
>Um, so other than wanting to publically admit surrender someplace where it
>would be accepted {thank you for that}. I wanted to ask if anybody can give
>me ANY kind of information about initation on a physical level? I don't know
>what to do. I keep *asking* and strangely, this is the only time in my life
>where I haven't gotten any answers or guidance from Spirit. I want to do
>some healing work, but I am concerned that it would be *cheating on the
>test*, and then I'd have to repeat a test that's HARDER later in life. No
>thanks on that one, ok? :) I'm a bit confused about this, and then at other
>times, I surrender it and no longer care what happens. {Ah, the ego drive to
>*understand*. sheesh!}
Shamanic initiation is probably the least understood of all the spiritual
processes. While "Shaman" is a term that is thrown around a lot in "new
age" circles, my definition of a Shaman is pretty simple: if the spirit who
claims you does not do its best to kill you right after the initial
contact.. then you are not a Shaman. That is not to say that all life
threatening illnesses are shamanic sickness, of course.
The basic pattern is that there is a "First contact" with the spirit,
usually taking the form of a psychic experience and an interrogation of
some sort. The interview.. this is followed by a severe life threatening
illness, and it is estimated that 1/3 of the initiates do not survive the
initiation sickness. The key to survival is to consent to their plans for
you. Surrender to becoming a Shaman and agree to be trained. For me,
fortunately the sickness was only a few weeks, perhaps because I consented
up front at first contact. Similarly, one of my slaves got through the
sickness in about a week.. perhaps because she had me guiding her and
negotiating with the Spirit on her behalf.
I have heard of Shamanic sickness lasting months or years! The sickness
itself seems to be a sort of cleansing.. preparing the vessel. It often
includes visions, fever, delerium and comatose states.. Tho not always.
There are no hard and fast rules, just some generalizations.
If you do survive, then the spirit(s) go on to train you directly.
Unlike yoga or other forms of magical training, there is no human hierarchy
to Shamans. It is part of the definition that to be a Shaman is to be
trained by the spirits directly.. although it is not unusual for the
initiate to be drawn to a more experienced, 'Graduate' Shaman to have a
hand to hold during the difficult bits. This has been handled.. I am a
Shaman and there are several others on this list. Perhaps we ought to
create a new list for Shamans and Shaman initiates.. :)
While Shamanic initiation is often thought to come "out of the blue", I
believe it is usually asked for, on some level. I had asked for a guide to
teach me how to be a Dominatrix in service to the light.. you have asked to
become a healer. My slave was wearing my serpent symbol of ownership when
she looked a Naga serpent idol in the eye outside of a Thai temple and
mentally acknowledged unity of ownership with that Serpent. Presto, she
started getting an odd sickness that she could control with mediation
during the day when she had to work, (she was in Thailand on business) but
was overwhelming her with fevers and visions at night.
Shamanism has some things in common with Kundalini, and they may go
together, but they are *not* the same thing. While all Shamans may become
K. awakened as part of the training process, not all awakened people become
Shamans.
Shamanism is much more intense than K., and it also involves a much more
hands-on training as to nature of the illusion of the physical, and a
deeper relationship with death, nature, and the underworld. For Shamans,
Mr. Death shows up as a being whom you get to know, and eventually
integrate with. Kundalites may traverse the underworld levels of the Bardo
on their journey through it as part of ego-death: Shamans get to know it
well enough to be tour guides, and actually live in both worlds. Some
Kundalites may become healers, but not all.. whereas pretty much all
Shamans become healers, although some may primarily specialize in other
activities. Some like me may even have to do healing work in order to
maintain our own health.
My advice for you: Think back to before the illness started, was there
some particular psychic event, contact with an idol or nature spirit? It is
helpful to know who your teacher is..:) Probably there was some sort of
memorable psychic event with some being who challenged you and asked you a
lot of questions. If you can somehow identify that being, even by memory,
open to it and surrender to being trained by that, then you will be further
ahead. You may want to do some kind of ritual of surrender, and make some
sort of offering, such as your moon blood, candles, incense.. the spirit
will guide you.
You can then ask the spirit if you are being challenged to heal
yourself, or if the illness is a cleansing process that you just have to
allow to complete itself, in which case the spirit will heal you when the
process is done.
Hmm.. I am getting to tell you to negotiate with the spirit to create
some workable form of communication. Some ancient spirits do not use words
much, seems like this one mostly guides you by feelings. People were not
always as verbally-oriented as we are now, and the types of spirits
involved in Shamanism are generally not aware of the passage of time,
except when they are in unity with a human. It may not know how people have
changed, you need to communicate that to it, and probably it will adapt.
You both will need to adapt. :)
In my case, my ADD made it hard for me to simply sit still and hear
the messages clearly, and there was no point to my learning the language
and rituals of a long dead culture.. so I invited Chacmool to rearrange my
unconscious as he needed to, dig around in there to find a common language
and metaphor that I could understand. As a result, I learned Mayan
mysticism through modern metaphors of the Holy Grail, science fiction
novels and .. etc. Everything from comic books and vampire stories to SM
roleplay became metaphors to communicate the essence. He also manifested my
own shadow side as a being whose appearance and history much resembles the
historical figure who inspired the first vampire stories, Vlad the impaler.
It was not till years later, that I realized that the appearance of the odd
guide I called "Armand" was connected to my shamanic initiation.. or even
that the strange events during and following my trip to Mexico in 1993
*were* a shamanic initiation. So, in that respect, you are ahead of me.. :)
The best book on shamanism I have found is Hank Wesselman's
'Spiritwalker". You might also want to read the "The Cosmic Serpent" by
Jeremy Narby.
Blessings..
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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