To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/07/22 14:35
Subject: [K-list] Re: Mother's Death
From: Nancy Brook
On 2001/07/22 14:35, Nancy Brook posted thus to the K-list:
From: SherriknobATnospamaol.com
Hi all,
I am having a hard time understanding my Mom's sudden death.
<snip>
I was missing her and picked up a book I had grabbed from home.
A letter fell out from her to me ( there were 5 kids in my family so what
are
the chances?) I felt like she was saying "hey, I am still here but in a
different vibration! The world would have been much better if she had
lived...... I just don't get it.......
-------------
Dear Sherri,
So sorry that your mother has died. The sudden death must be extremely
difficult for you to deal with.
I know that no one can completely understand another's experience. But I can
relate; my mother died on December 27.
I write the words...died on December 27...and still a lump enters my throat
and my eyes moisten. I miss her human form. I miss the smell of her
apartment and the cackle of her laugh. I miss seeing her purse her lips as
she put on her lipstick. I miss her no-nonsense approach to the world. I
miss being able to put my arms around my mamma's neck and touch her coarse,
permed hair. I cannot do that now. I miss her.
Yes, I know there is more to life than this. It sounds like you know that
too. But there is only one chance to live the life we ARE living in this
human form. I will only be Nancy until I die, and then I will be the
complete sum of Nancy and all my other experiences. And then maybe I'll be
someone else.
For me, my mother was a woman who loved me so totally even though she
completely did NOT understand me! It's been hard to accept that I have no
one who can love me so. No person, anyway.
When she died, I wanted to go with her. It's not that I was feeling
suicidal; I just didn't want to lose her. And then I remembered that I had a
daughter who needed me. Friends I can lean on. Worldly responsibilities. And
I had to back away from that other world to live in this one.
Your mother is giving you a message that she is still around. My sister, my
daughter and I all had dreams about my mother after her death letting us
know that she was still around looking after us. So, yes, there is a comfort
in the knowing.
Why is it their time? We just can't know for sure of why. But someone told
me that my mother had work to do on the other side now. That seemed to make
sense to me.
Lately I've been considering the role of loss in our lives. We are given
people in our lives whom we love only to lose them. Maybe it's so we can
learn to love unconditionally but then realize that we shouldn't limit that
love to select group of humans.
Behind everybody is the divine spark of God. So when we love others, we are
worshipping the divine. And then the object of our affection is taken away,
and the divine spirit is still there. My beloved mother was no other than
the divine mother cloaked in flesh and bone.
God played hide and seek to see if I could awake and find the spark. I've
had so many losses in my life. But I have found peace because I feel my own
spirit, the great spirit and the love that connects me with all.
Grieve your mother. Cry 1000 tears for your loss. Go to the center of the
pain and hurt. And in the middle will be a pinpoint of light. The light is
love. Focus on that little point of light, and it will radiate into your
heart. The pressure will build, and it will explode out of you and transform
your life and all the people you encounter.
Your mother has never been anyone but Goddess. She will never leave you. You
can even ask that she appear to you in the form of your mother, and she
will.
I don't know whether my experience is helpful or confusing! But I just
wanted to let you know that you are not alone and that you are so loved.
Peace and healing to you, Sherri,
Nancy
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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