To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/07/19 06:45
Subject: Re: [K-list] re: seeing our own faults in others then criticizing
From: José H
On 2001/07/19 06:45, José H posted thus to the K-list:
Hi Serena,
Just want to respond to you, feel that I am somewhere where you are now. ( I
am a woman - my name is a woman's name in Holland)
People stop when I enter too, they listen to my words more than those of
others - but I am still afraid of my power, so I hold back.
What is the negative side? Just like you say I guess: manipulation, using
your insights and gotten power for your own ego-based good, safekeeping or
whatever. The shame that's inside all of us. I tend to feel it more and
more, while becoming more sensitive to myself and everybody around me.The
shame of being a vulnerable human being, whatever insights you can display
or how much power there is in your words and actions. Getting out of this
victimrole, and taking my stand as the woman I am, means having to endure
the shame that is there, in myself AND in others.
I still struggle with the image of the strong woman. Just came back from a
5-day healing dancefestival. So many women are still either the caring
(smothering(?)) mother, or the sexy, naive girl - both roles mainly from a
victim point of view, dependant towards men in either way. Or - yes - they
manipulate. To break through this, as a woman, is really healing - both for
women and men. There is nothing else you can do than do this for yourself.
Since I was there with my partner - I realize I was trying to save him from
his shame - which was a perfect way of hiding my own. So I hold back. I am
afraid to be that strong woman, because it means to stand on my own - in
connection with others, with an open heart, in the here and now without
knowing what will happen next.
If I do this, I feel I cannot fall back into the safe role of victim.
And you know what? Being afraid of the witchhunts is the ONLY thing at this
point in time that makes me vulnerable to them. (teasing, manipulation by
other women, use of authority-roles and egogames by men) I know that when I
quit being afraid of it, and trust K, goddess, this process I am in, and
speak up, there is no witchhunt left. Just a strong woman showing herself.
Love and blessings, José
> ". . . the anima is bipolar and can therefore appear positive one
> moment and negative the next; now young, now old; now mother,
> now maiden; now a good fairy, now a witch; now a saint, now a
> whore." (_CW_ 9i: 356) Jung
>
> Thanks Tracy, for posting the link to the Jung quotes.
> The one above caught my eye as I've been pondering
> my repressed/disowned High Priestess aspect...
>
> Mystress' comment was, to paraphrase, that images
> of crafty powerful women abound in our culture, but that
> these women always come to a bad end,
> because they don't need
> men and they aren't rescued by princes on white horses.
>
> Yes.
>
> I try to see progress; Bond girls are doing much
> better these days than they used to, and
> I do think there is some improvement. But it is slow; the stereotypes
> of our culture get repeated and repeated and repeated
> and with each iteration, there is the slowest trace of movement
> towards an emergent new thing, a new way of being, a heroic
> powerful female.
>
> If you want to watch
> movies with heroines, these days you've
> got a lot of movies you can go see, even if there are many fair criticisms
> to be made of how the heroines are portrayed. Ten years ago, you
> had hardly a handful of movies with heroines in mainstream
> theatre...
>
> Anyway, to circle back and reference the Jung quote
> above, I wonder what the negative aspect of the High Priestess
> is, since perhaps that is why I am blocking her?
>
> Personally, I feel fairly
> "in touch" with the positive aspects, been running with the wolves
> for some time now
> (okay, the bunnies, but bunnies are ~wild~!),
> I'm an empowered woman and I've got the big charge thing
> going now, and when I enter a room, people stop what they are doing
> and attend.
>
> I should basically already ~be~ a high priestess at this point; everyone
> seems to expect it of me, and it seems like they are surprised
> more than anything else when I defer the role.
>
> One thing that flashes to mind is that when I embody the High Priestess
> archetype, no matter how carefully I behave, I will be experienced
> by some as her negative pole- as fearful, devouring, shaming,
> manipulative, and what have you. This leads to witch hunts
> (experiences I deeply fear, although I am getting better at
> sidestepping/withdrawing/not overwhelming
> people and I am having better "luck" as a result).
>
> My own dark side- fearful, devouring, shaming, manipulative?
> Okay, been there, done that, trying not to repeat it, have tried
> to live better... and maybe in the process of trying to become a
> better person, I repressed myself as High Priestess?
> Didn't like what I was doing with my power, so hid it from myself?
> My partner says it was like hiding a spotlight under a bushel
> basket, but still I did my very best; look everybody, no evil witch here.
>
> Hmm. I am grateful for this list.
>
> Serena
>
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