To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/07/18 19:18
Subject: Re: [K-list] re: seeing our own faults in others then criticizing
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2001/07/18 19:18, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 09:25 AM 7/17/01, SerenasblissATnospamaol.com wrote:
>In a message dated 07/17/2001 6:25:23 AM W. Europe Daylight Time,
>Mystress writes:
>
> > Carl Jung described the ego as who we think we are, and the "Shadow
> > Self" as "everything we think we are not".. the stuff we do not like
> about
> > ourselves, we project outwards, onto our environment.. yet, through the
> > collective consciousness, we are everything and everyone. We are shadow
>and
> > ego and collective All.
>
>Thanks Mystress for writing this post, and thanks Tracy for sharing it.
You are welcome. :)
>I keep meaning to post to this list whenever a post draws something
>out in me, and then I sit down and write through it, and get
>through whatever was getting mirrored or evoked...
>and then don't send what I've posted
>because I feel "done" with whatever I wrote about.
Makes good sense.. still tho, others may benefit from your process..
> Also, sometimes
>I feel kind of fragile around whatever it is, and I am afraid someone will
>respond in a way that hurts my way oversensitive feelers.
Takes courage to dance naked before the crowd.. I spent many years on
this list, challenging myself to dance naked..sharing the bare truth of my
experiences. I had spent much of my life being afraid to tell anyone about
my feelings and weird experiences.. afraid of being judged, having had so
much experience of being judged and misunderstood.
I'm pretty much past that, now.. Richard Bach said, "Live, never to be
ashamed if anything you say or do is broadcast around the world.. even if
what is said, is not true." Takes a lot of courage to live that way, and I
am quite not there, yet.. I still like some privacy, but they are limits
worth pushing.
>I did a tarot reading for myself over last weekend and the card
>revealing my "shadow self" was the high priestess. And the card
>showing my deepest fears was the hanged woman/witch. It
>is not hard for me to see how I'm repressing
>and disowning my high priestess aspect,
>if my fear of being witchhunted is very strong- as it is.
It is, in every woman. The memories of the witchhunts go deep into the
DNA, and are reflected in popular culture. Bad grrls get killed, in all the
movies.. From slaughtered loose women in the James Bond movies, to "Fatal
attraction", Thelma and Louise.... you name it. Getting in touch with the
High Priestess/Witch wild woman within is literally facing down your fear
of death, and conquering it.
Good girls may get kidnapped and beat up, but they always have a white
knight who rescues them.. bad grrls, women who use their sexual power,
brains and feminine mystique come to a bad end, and if you think for just a
few moments you will come up with dozens of examples of this.
Even Zena the warrior princess had a final episode where she was beaten,
stripped, humiliated and beheaded.
>Lately I've been doing the thing where I assume every relationship
>and conversation primarily reflects "me";
It does. that is truth.. it is not egocentric, it is incredibly
challenging and a good path of spiritual growth.
>this seems like a very egocentric
>way to look at the world but it is intensely revealing. Turns out that
>the traits that bug me most about my two best friends, I have still got
>myself and these traits are holding me back.
Yes.. exactly so. That is what I was trying to explain to Tracy. What
bugs you about other people is stuff you do, yourself. Perhaps to a lesser
or greater degree, but the annoyance is to get your attention to what needs
to be cleared, within you.
>I've
>been externalizing my inner struggle every time I've struggled to cope
>with the behaviors of my two friends- and struggled to understand them.
Yes!
>This practice hasn't shed any light directly on how to go with the repressed
>high priestess/witch hunt fears, unfortunately.
>
>Serena
It will, eventually. One thing you can do, is the same thing in reverse.
One thing I did to unrepress myself, is spend several months lurking on
all of the most perverse, distasteful or strange newsgroups I could find,
challenging myself to see myself in them, and see them as worthy of
unconditional love.
Found out where all my buttons were, by doing my own version of
meditating in the cremation grounds. Reading everything from the newsgroups
for suicidal people, to those of men who wanted to be castrated,
pedophiles, rape and torture fantasies, you name it. If it was socially
unacceptable, then I read it and tried to see myself reflected, and find
the love in it.
Intensify the process by going into that which you judge, making the
judgments and then turning them around to see how you are really judging
yourself.
On a gentler note.. Clarissa Pinkola Estes wrote a great book called
"Women who run with the Wolves", all about finding your inner instinctual
wild woman.
Blessings..
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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