To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/07/17 22:56
Subject: Re: [K-list] Here's a better format of previous e-mail
From: joyful fairy
On 2001/07/17 22:56, joyful fairy posted thus to the K-list:
> From: tracymATnospampipeline.com
> Subject: Here's a better format of previous e-mail
{snip}
> So, then I knew why I could never ever again, ever
> see myself as a victim (yeah I had seen myself as one). No, it was
> far far worse, because now I have to face my own chaos, and that
> is a far harder thing to do than having to get over feeling sorry for
> yourself, or trying to get others to do so, which is how I was judged.
Tracy, congratulations on breaking out of the victim consciousness grip!
YAY! :) It is a wonderful, empowering thing, and a part of really claiming
your power as Creator. :) And, *facing your chaos* will only be as *hard* as
you believe it will be. It can be easy and fun if you choose. Just decide
that it will be. Be easy on yourself and remember that there is no wrong way
to live your life. You're a beautiful soul having human experiences. There's
really no *wrong* in an experience. Right and wrong are just judgements of
the world of duality. Go higher and it all gets fuzzy.
What I have learned in my recent freedom from victim state of mind is that
there were aspects of victim in many areas of my life. Like the *filter* as
Mystress Angelique uses the term, has covered many different parts of my
life. So I *saw* many/most things through that filter all my life. Now that
the core filter piece is gone, there's a kind of residue, or smaller filters
that are clearing out from my perceptions of other things.
For example: I found myself holding back from *claiming my power* because I
don't want to hurt others. Sometimes when you are *in the flow* you push
other peoples buttons. It's the action of divinity working through you in
order to create healing in others, and that mirror thing, but sometimes it
sucks to be in that spot of the aggravator. So, I was holding back cuz I
didn't want to hurt others, but that was making me hurt. So it became this
matryr complex about:
*I'll suffer by not expressing my light so that you won't suffer from my
expression of it*
It was VERY subtle. Martyr is just another aspect of victim. Only we're
victimizing ourselves. And self flagelation is the biggie in my world. :0
So, like all things, I found that with *my issues*, there are layers of it
in me and just when I think I'm done I find something else. :) It's just a
constant housecleaning. LOL! :)
Rebeckah
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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