To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/07/02 11:45
Subject: [K-list] The carrot for the perrot
From: www.siiya.net / prod. musique & multimedia web

Hi all,

Sharing my experience has I know each one reality is different.

but I also know that if I jump from a 400 feet building I will crash in
an ugly blood and flesh mess as anybody else...

Why do theese physical realities are not as malleable as
spiritual-psychological ones?

Can we suppose that in the raw situation of my body crashing on the
ground there can only be one reality, but that in the kundalini
dimension each one as the liberty to choose the one at its own taste?
And feel free to guide those who are not as strong mentally as them into
their mental fabrication?

So here is my experience:

I was 15 years old and taking one or two LSD tabs a week, with very
strong hydroponic stuff, alcool and pills, all togheter with good music.

I wanted to smash this dull north-american 20th century reality and find
true ecstasy, "the true reality".

It worked for a year and a half, and during this time I had plenty of
extraordinary experiences, flying at immense speeds in tunnels of
colored light, touching universal knowledge, seeing parallels universes
etc.

It ended abruptly when I broke the seal of something, very tangible and
strong, so strong I had to be shipped at an hospital... repeatedly...
in very bad states...

There was a reservoir of buried emotions in my reality, but I denied
it. So I did not see the warnings. So I broke the sceal.

10 years of panic disorders due to intense energy coming from the
subconscious and striking with no warnings and submitting my mind to
intense periods of terror. But I succeeded in doing progress with that,
as these energies were lost past emotions that had loose their cause or
meanings, and I was able to remake big parts of the puzzle.

When you think you are something, but you are faced with who you really
are, completely different thing, so powerful that the distress is
indescriptible... You come to know a bit of what humility is... and I
stoped spreading my stupid rational ego-ideas-masturbation on anyone.

Now I prefer to talk about my being and my experiences. Ideas are what
they are... issued from the same world as fantasies. They make you
think you have a grip... and you really have! ...but just on the
reality of this world of fantasy... It does'nt change the 400 feet
building reality.

Who I really am is not a product of my fantasies. It has a deep link
with the history of living on this earth.

about 300 millions years of fighting for survival, killing, fear,
protection of my kind, adaptation, race for evolution... all of that in
a deep physical reality, with absolutely no spirituality. The beginning
and the end at the same place, on this planet, motivated by the deep
deep deep deep instinct for MY survival and the survival of what is
related to MY survival, sometimes well adapted and successfull,
sometimes a disaster.

Hey... maybe there is a fantasy island at the end of the road, but I
live NOW. Surprinsingly, the more I meditate and let the energy flow
like it want to, not as I want it to, the more I am in the present
moment. I feel I'm living an adventure, not a stupid fixed ecstasy.

Ecstasy is for me the projection of my own soul's desire for death.
People looking for ecstasy are people wanting to kill the energy and put
it back in the reservoir, out of reach.

I need less the carrot on a stick infront of me to move.

I suggest a discussion here... Why do the universal life force created
this reality of millions of years of very crude stuff for us to live
within? Can you connect with this reality without disgust?

Disgust is a symptom that the reservoir is there, and that you are
puting a lot of energies to keep it out there.

For me now it is the most dangerous way to live.

"LOVE"

Benoit

http://www.kundalini-gateway.org

DISCLAIMER!

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