To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/06/20 20:05
Subject: [K-list] Re: Let's get into some denial...
From: Divine Goddess
On 2001/06/20 20:05, Divine Goddess posted thus to the K-list:
--- In Kundalini-GatewayATnospamy..., "www.siiya.net / prod. musique &
> > Yes you are but your perception is not. The interesting thing is
your> > perception. For my reality, I do not fight life, I love life
and> > she's not an adversary at all. But she provides me with
plenty of> > adversaries... Why? I did a deal with her. Wanted to
die totally> > conscious and ready, at the time she'll choose.
Did'nt know what it> > implied at the time...
Adversaries aren't necessary to keep one conscious and ready. Just
choose to be conscious and ready. Life wasn't meant to be difficult
or a struggle.
> >
> > "It does not always have to be like that..."
> >
> > Yes, you are right. But the thing is to me that when I take a
break,> > I stop evolving and sink into acting out, unconscious
patterns, even> > stupidity.
That's just a choice, you know. You can take a break without
devolving. It is ok to have life be good and easy and filled with
growth. Who told you that evolution has to be so difficult?
>> So for me it's a choice. Sometimes I have no choice.
We all have choice. To not choose is also a choice.
I> > am adeeply sensual guy and if life send me my type of girl
today, the> > one that just pass through the neo-cortex to explode in
the archetype> > section, I will fuck all the things up, until life
bring me a big> > piece of rock to hit me in the face.
Might be a good idea to look for the part within you that wants you
to hurt and suffer when you get your heart's desires. Find out why
that part thinks so and negotiate a new way of living. If we believe
that happiness is followed by sufferring that's what we have.
> I know where I'm weak... And I> > know I'll have to live this
again because I have weaknesses to work> > out...
How about looking where you are strong? I bet you are much stronger
than you think. Weakness is always with us. So what? Relax and enjoy
your life without creating such a harsh cage to live in.
> >
> > Something that is more precise to describe me, I will give it to
> > you... I absolutely do have no respect for the side of me that
> > betrayed me when it said illusion and fantasies were fine because
I> > was suffering enough.
So you don't respect yourself. Separate your essential self from your
beliefs about failures and betrayals. What you think and who you are
are not the same thing. Begin to respect who you are...it is
incredible.
> >
> > I went into way more suffering and into a state of mind that can
be> > easily describe as hell.
You are not alone in that.
> >
> > By extent, I have absolutely no respect at all for the magicians
and> > "mirage" sellers, for the people who say that it is OK to
bullshit> > yourself, even a little bit.
You mean "fake it till you make it?" Why even pay attention to them
and why worry about them? They have been around forever and are not
going away. They don't care whether you respect them or not.
> >
> > If they have respect for themselves, they will stay out of my way.
> >
> > I am at war with this poison in me, and outside of me. You
wondered> > who was the adversary, you now know what it is. For me
there is no> > more "anti-life" than "complaisance". Dont know how
to say in> > english, maybe "contentment".
Not contentment but more like complacent. Do you ever look at the
words you use to describe you and your life... poison, at war,
adversaries, explode, fuck up, rock in face, fight, weak, illusion,
survival... just in this email alone....
It does not even seem like you have experienced contentment.
> >
> > I am at war because I feel my survival threatened by this poison
of> > illusion. From there I cannot justify myself more. It's a
good cause> > for me, It's my cause, and I'm a fighter, like to fight.
Because you invest so much energy in fighting off illusion, it will
win. What you focus on you magnify. Energy goes in the direction of
where you focus points to. It feeds what you resist and abhor...makes
it bigger and stronger and you will never win. It is not about
winning anyway.
> >
> > Not much mystery in this, don't wanna be a "mystery guy".
> >
> > It is just a fact that illusion is everywhere, most inside of me,
> > stored in all of my organs and cells.
May I hit you with my illusion brick? How about if I send you
illusion love?
What is it that you really want in your life Benoit? All I see you
saying is about what you don't want. The more you focus on what you
don't want, the more you have more of what you don't want.
It does'nt come off easily,> > believe me... When the cleaning will
be more advanced, I will sure be> > a more "peaceful" looking
person. But it will be an illusion...
You are already clean. Who told you that you were dirty?
Some> > priests in Japan were achieving the same quest of perfection
in their> > soul and in their art. The more high they were
spiritually, the> > easier the head of the adversary came off. It
just "looked" cleaner> > and less brutal...
My sensei from Japan would say the wiser person walks away from the
adversary. Who told you that the most spiritual act is a clean kill?
> >
> > I just take a look around me. I'm fascinated by reality. Never
saw a> > bird help a cat or neither the opposite. They do not have
interest> > into their common survival.
Just because you haven't seen it doesn't mean it is so.
>>>I do not have interest into the survival> > of any illusion, in me
or outside of me. Illusion invaded me, I> > declared war.
No one can be invaded without permission. You asked for illusion to
invade you on some level. You gave illusion permission. Was it so you
would have an excuse to make war against yourself?
Practicing peace is much healthier for the heart and soul than
practicing war.
Blessings,
Susan
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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