To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/06/13 15:49
Subject: [K-list] Cannibals Backstory
From: Denise Lyon Anding
On 2001/06/13 15:49, Denise Lyon Anding posted thus to the K-list:
Hello, All,
Thank you all for the many outstanding replies I received by private mail.
You have many great insights and I enjoyed your own personal telling of trials and triumphs in this area. It is important that we all are brave enough to see these things in ourselves, not for the Guilt Meter to ring out of control but rather so we can begin to fix the problem. Once a problem is recognized, we see the pattern, then we can begin the process of pulling ourselves out of that troublesome mindset.
Nothing happens overnight. And, as we work on these kinds of deep-seated mindsets, more is revealed to us that points the way out of the labyrinth. Eventually, we do find the exit sign and get to sigh that huge sigh of relief at a life better lived. By the way, the Guilt Meter is only meant to mildly stun us into awareness that something needs our attention. If your Guilt Meter is doing more than that then someone else has programmed it for you. Throw it in the trash.
Some of you requested "the backstory."
As to clear up a few questions posed:
Yes, it was all from true stories.
"The Westerner" came from a news show I viewed back in the late 1960's. Of course, the one thing I updated was the "form," the word choices, he spoke. Since everyone worldwide is only too familiar with "mad cow disease" and the ensuing fear attached to it, it was an obvious choice to use.
"The Catholic Priest" came again from a news show viewed about five years ago. He spent about 20 years with this true cannibal tribe and this news story came at the end of that time as he had finally succeeded in writing down their unique language. It took him that long to learn it and then devise a system to record it. In his mind, he originally went as a linguist. The Vatican decided to enlarge his "mission."
Basically, he was primarily a linguist and that was his only interest. He learned as much from the exchange as did the tribe. He also spoke about how language can imprison us, even beyond reason. He wasn't the typical priest and left a good impression with me all these years.
I had first heard of him when he began his linguist mission and then word of him in the news shows disappeared. Hardly a worldwide news event. He dropped off the radar. And, of course, ask the Universe, "so what happened to this guy, anyway?" and the synchronicity machine starts grinding up to speed and this news show, about 15 years later, pops up on my personal radar screen, so to speak. In other words, I received my answer. "Ask and receive." That, and "inquiring minds want to know." (OK, silly reference to a shoddy American tabloid...)
"Evone" was my mother-in-law.
Evone and I hit it off from day one. Someone once asked about many of us on this list having "previous lives." From what I've seen on this list, I would definitely respond a resounding, "Yes!" There are a lot of very cool people here. Evone was also one very cool person. OK, she spoiled me rotten... And it was definitely a new experience to have someone take care of me rather than me ALWAYS being the constant caretaker. I guess it was the Universe's way of evening out the "cosmic score."
We were loyal friends. And we were loyal friends in several previous lifetimes. We have always managed to find each other. She was always the older one and I the younger. She was always indecisive when it came to herself and I was the risk-taker.
The funniest thing? We were both nuns in our last life together. I left after ten years but she remained in the convent until the day she died. Any one who knows us, starts laughing and just can't stop when they hear we both used to be nuns! "You, not YOU!" Ha! Ha! You know what is even more amusing? We BOTH almost made that choice yet AGAIN! I guess it was that "old familiar feeling" thing going on. Fortunately, even Holy Spirit said, "Denise, no to the convent idea. You have already 'been there, done that.' The memory was brought up to remind you of a theme in several lifetimes that you are to retain in present memory as guidance."
That choice was made at age sixteen.
"The American terrorist" was Timothy McVeigh. For those who may not know, he was a former Gulf War veteran who despised "the government." No one has revealed all the details of his anger yet. His anger was so great that he decided to kill 168 people in one federal government building. He planned it for when it would be full of people and the children's day care center was also in use. An additional 500 people were injured. Some, to this day, six years later, are still involved in multiple operations and physical therapy to have some kind of normal life.
Did I want him to die? Actually, no. That's right, no. He did not have enough spiritual time to fully realize the fullness of his actions. That, and the current revelation of thousands and thousands of pages of documents that the FBI had not turned over to the defense lawyers. Then there were some of the survivors talking about suppressed evidence that was sealed. That is bothersome. Perhaps we were too quick to convict? Perhaps we were too quick to "be right"? Had we taken our time perhaps we would have found out the complete story and the others who had to involved with him? Who knows...
Of course, Europeans constantly ask us as to why we continue in the death penalty. Until our leaders change the laws, here is the alternative which happened all too often during the 1970's: the prisons became so full that we began letting out even our dangerous criminals. There is no true life without parole.
Whether you agree or disagree or even like any of this, this is the reality. Most Americans actually want a true life without parole. What it would mean is that the person can never come up for parole no matter what.
What has been happening is that even those placed in prison for life without parole, manage to get a hearing. So every 7 to 10 years or so, a member of the family has to show up in person and tell the same story again and again to have the parole denied.
Of course, what is more troubling is the new DNA evidence and university journalism students studying death row inmate cases and discovering innocence. Some of these men have waited as long as 20 years to be exonerated. People are troubled by this. We used to believe the system was honorable. Now we wonder.
People don't feel safe. Former victims have been killed when they didn't receive notice of the parole hearing (because maybe they moved over the years, maybe the "system" got snagged and didn't send it out). Even Jackie Kennedy went faithfully for every parole hearing for the killer of former Senator Robert Kennedy.
Like the people in Oklahoma City will tell you, "it's been a nightmare these past six years. We want an end, a finality to it all." Their feelings are understandable. Still, no one is comfortable with the death penalty. Many of the Oklahoma survivors and family of the victims are divided as to life vs. death penalty for McVeigh.
As to "gun culture," we have a whale of one here in America compared to other countries. I doubt we will ever go the way of Europe. It is in our Constitution. Yes, I grew up with guns, too many of them. They weren't locked up and the ammunition was easily available. There were many emotionally unstable people with access to these guns.
Have you ever been at the other end of the barrel of a loaded gun with a vicious person telling you, "Let's play Russian Roulette but I get to shoot you first"? I have. It will change your perspective about regulation and a whole host of other things. ( And the revolver was fully loaded, not just the obligatory "one" and the rest of the chambers empty. It was only one of a dozen guns in the house.)
As to daring to question "the Christian past," I figured some fellow Christians would get mighty miffed with me for bringing it up. While we may not choose to behave so cruelly, there have been centuries of recorded history of those who really thought they were "doing the right thing" IN THEIR TIME PERIOD.
By today's standards would we consider THEM to be "real" Christians? From the standards of their time period would they actually consider US to be "real" Christians? And so it goes...
What made me think about questioning history? Actually, a bit more recent history. World War II. I was in Central Europe, Austria, where I spent some time in the local pubs almost every night (it's expected to see you on a daily or nightly basis for good social relations. That, and "what the hell is that damn American doing now?" Ha!)
I spent hours upon hours talking to mostly children of Nazis and former and some unrepentant Nazis and even the village "Hitler snitch" -that everyone was still terrorized by. We had some seriously "lively" discussions.
No, I am not Jewish. I don't think I could have done it if I were. But a Lithuanian uncle (part of Poland now) by marriage who later became a university biology professor fled Europe during this time. His parents gave up everything to bring him here as a child. And yet, this Catholic man, could love like no one I have ever seen. No matter what. Amazing. Very cool guy and popular with his students.
Talking about World War II with a European is a lot different than talking to an American about it. It was fought on their "home turf." We Americans don't understand what it is to have a war fought on our own land with an outside aggressor, not in recent memory. (This is where we can start comparing "who suffered more than the other guy" stories... The point is, it all started with the spark of anger.)
Talking with children of Nazis is an eye-opening experience. My father fought in the War. They were opposing perspectives. And neither country's history books told the complete story. You can only find the whole truth by talking to the every day people. I learned a lot and so did they. Even some American veterans who had been part of the Allied Occupation in Vienna for those ten years after the War joined our discussions and some Germans and some Italians and... you get the idea.
Talk about some tough conversations while I had visions of death camps in my head. But I managed to remain in neutral and non-judgmental. My philosophy has always been to meet what is tough in life "head-on" no matter how gut-wrenchingly unpleasant.
Germans and the children of Nazis have been coming to grips with this part of their collective history for some time now. We Christians can do the same.
But the Austrians are different. Many are still drowning in the old mindset. They have not "moved on." (The young ones, yes.) Many are drowning in either a defiant attitude or shame and guilt. There is a lot of anger evident in this country. I learned a lot about their mindset. You don't have to agree with someone to understand them.
I told them something I took for granted that everyone knew, that was part of the collective consciousness. They actually considered it most profound.
I told them they could "begin again." Start their lives over again. Start fresh. It was a new concept to them. We all do terrible wrongs to each other. Endeavor to walk out of this mindset of always feeling fearful so that we have the need to hurt others. Change direction. Chart a new course. We can all live better than this. It took many months but interestingly enough they liked the idea and gave it a lot more thought. They tend to be a timid people. They are not big risk-takers. Maybe they can rediscover the gentleness they once had. It is up to them.
I figured that if you want to "stop this kind of thing from happening again" as I heard so often during my childhood from death camp survivors then do the unthinkable: Heal the enemy. Heal the oppressor. Heal the terrorist. Find a way. Go to the source: anger. The message will never die even if the messenger does.
"The Painters, one white, one black" were also real people that were truly in my environment that same day, 11 June, as I went to the mailbox.
I had just finished viewing CNN news coverage and seen the shaken faces of the warden and the many journalists telling their gruesome stories of having witnessed the execution. I definitely needed some "fresh air." My spirit was troubled and saddened by it all and I was feeling the emotions of so many people across our nation in one collective Spirit. The execution had happened early in the morning. What a way to start off the Monday morning...
The white man was about McVeigh's age and judging by how frantically he was smoking that cigarette to quell his nausea from listening to the radio, he realized "it could have been him."
The black man was in his fifties and plenty old enough to have "seen it all." He was old enough to remember the Civil Rights Movement and all that happened. His emotions were still raw after all these years. Over the decades, I've spent time with the most hardcore of racists and talked to members of the Black Panther Party when it was quite active. And I've listened to all the people "in the middle." There is a lot to be learned. It all goes back to the same equation: fear plus anger equals destruction. It doesn't matter which "side" or what "cause."
Here, in the South, we try to greet each other whenever we pass whether we actually know each other or not. It is "the polite thing to do." But that day, none of us could do it. Forget custom, we were all collectively deep in thought, turned inward and unable to express outward. I thought about forcing myself to be pleasant outwardly and not lay these heavy feelings on others who may not be feeling the same. But we were all collectively speechless. It was definitely a Spirit kind of day, and a somber one. It was amazing how easily I could read their thoughts; we were that connected.
The point for weaving so many true stories together? Anger and how dangerous it can be when allowed to go unchecked. That, and how only one man's anger can affect us all so deeply.
Seems to me that we can do a better job than this. Why wait for someone else to fix it? Why not choose to do better ourselves? You know, "when we know better, we do better." Anger can rage out of control. Why not challenge it before it becomes so overwhelming like Evone said, "I swallowed my anger for so long. Now that anger has swallowed me. I could have lived so much better than this."
The Kundalini Force is so strong that it can challenge and push this out of us. Hillary, care to give us something about the chakra level and other salient comments? The Kundalini is forever cleansing us, including stored anger energy that is of no use to us and can create damage if held too long.
There is nothing wrong with getting angry about something. I consider it "an alarm bell" telling me to beware of a situation. But then let it go. (Boy, is that ever the hard part... "Practice makes perfect")
Anger is part of another Force and has to be handled with great Wisdom. Not many of us possess that level of Wisdom. I have had an ongoing "love affair" with Wisdom all my life, running after it with relentless pursuit hoping to gather up any crumbs It leaves along the way. Anger is a powerful energy, part of the dark Force and requires tremendous skill and discipline to handle expertly. I am certainly not there, are you?
Love to All My Cool Friends On This List, (and thanks for all your humor and great stories of the leper and the dog friend that gets into heaven and all the other delightful insights you have shared with us all)
Gratitude and Thankfulness. It is a lot better than the alternative...
Denise
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