To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/06/12 19:39
Subject: [K-list] Liberty vs Power
From: www.siiya.net / prod. musique & multimedia web
On 2001/06/12 19:39, www.siiya.net / prod. musique & multimedia web posted thus to the K-list:
When I experiment the cool aspect of liberty I face no resistance. I
experiment a freedom of choice. There is no victory feeling, no
sadness, just being. Things and events don't stick on me, they slide;
I don't get stuck, I'm fluid. It IS being.
To get to experiment liberty permanently, I must go trough a lot of
resistance, against forces that resides inside of me. My consciousness,
frigthened by the perils indangering my body's integrity, a body that it
identies with, fragments itself into pieces that stick to anything
secure, anything that could garranty a kind of lasting survival.
It becomes more and more difficult to relate to myself, as I have now
many possibly non-congruents selfs, each having is own set of values and
it's own interests. I do not have self-integrity anymore, but has my
self weakens my ego gains power and I begin to identify with. Soon I
begin to experiment inner conflicts. I am trapped more and more into
confusion and my existence becomes sterile, it slowly takes the path of
death.
So I seek the help of religion, the help of a group, the help of forces
lying inside me, but I seek them from a self that is not who I really
am. I agitate a lot of things and a lot of people and they do the same
and finally their is dust and ideas dirt and sentimental mud
everywhere. I think because of this change on my perspective something
has happened.
Nothing has happened.
---When I was young I got trapped into a lucid dream. Was begining to
be tired of dreaming, wanted to get out. Shaked myself. Woke up, went
downstairs. Everything was kind of green. Noticed it, realized I was
not out of the dream. Back to my bed and shake again. I did all the
spectrum of colors, thinking automatically after I had shaked my self
that because it was different, something had happen. When the colors
went finally normal, got a big relief and went downstairs to have my
breakfast. I woke up a bit later... My will had been for no use.----
I evolve, as anybody else. Life goes fast, so I need to adjust fast or
I will lose chances of trully get out of it before it's too late. Did I
talked about love? No. It isn't about love. Living in a state of
universal love is a dangerous fantasy, and the pursuit of that idea
always lead to the same ironic ending: "let's get rid of all the bad
people who don't feel and think like we do!"
Love is: protection and care from an individual, the family or a social
circle that has interest in our survival. (my definition) Love is
always an act posed in OUR INTEREST. The rest is bullshit.
I do not have interest on the survival of people that are all fucked up
in their minds and who suck my energies, so I don't love them. Maybe
they help me, and I'm sure in a way they do. But they are so many, my
need for them is not perceptible.
All the rest of "love and spiritual way of living" is ass licking,
playing on the weaknesses of the other's ego to get what we want, may it
be peace of consciousness or a color tv. The self that is conscious of
this "less noble behavior" stays in the shades, while the virtuous one
makes a loud diversion to get all the looks on him and be reassured he
is what he wants to think he is.
I have fun to identify with some people. Because there are so few
people I can relate to, I have an interest in their survival. If I help
them, probably they will help me to, without making a conscious and
painful effort. That is for me nurrishing human exchanges, but there
are almost as many sub-realities like that on earth, many of them that
are sometimes conflicting, sometimes on a parallel level, sometimes
totally strangers.
What are we for an ant? What are we for fishes? They don't give a f...
about us. And they are right.
Trying to be loved by a group I don't relate to is slavery. No interest
in that.
By the way, is this a group for people who experiment kundalini or a
group for people who talk about it as if it was a Britney Spears
discussion group or something like that... And what is the purpose of
all theese "love to you all" that I see everywhere? Personnally, I
don't need this love that is some kind of drug that can only derive me
from my path. I am now experimenting very strong things in my body,
especially in the three upper chakras, and I need WORDS THAT ARE CHARGED
WITH A MEANING to illuminate the path I have to follow. I need words
that are food to nurrish me as I resolve theese conflicts into my self,
as I get rid of my ego, as I get into a way of being that relates to the
domain of the unknown.
Kundalini is a force. To be looking for a force is to be looking for
power. Power always get you to the same place you were, not to be place
you should be.
Experimenting Kundalini is to let a force manifest itself. If it's not
there, maybe it's because there are other things to come before.
Kundalini does not give power, it gives liberty. Liberty is not about
the obligation to love everybody or a static state of universal love.
Liberty is simply but trully and purely BEING, without any
interferences, and it's hard to get.
Benoit
(This is a response to a need I had to express myself and I 'm really
speaking to myself. It is the speach of a part of my mind, probably
trying to intoxicate the other part of my mind that is outside of my
reach, escaping me by illusion... The tactic is good, sending it to a
group and getting resonance to stimulate the shaded mind... It moves
and then I can shoot at it!)
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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