To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/06/03 19:09
Subject: Re: [K-list] arm, head movements
From: www.siiya.net / musique et multimédia web
On 2001/06/03 19:09, www.siiya.net / musique et multimédia web posted thus to the K-list:
Hello all and excuse my poor english,
I meditate methodicaly and very intensely since I am 24, I am now
31. Intensely means an average of one hour a day, sometimes 4,
sometimes 8. I don't really decide to do it, it is a maintenance
thing; if I don't connect to myself for a too long period I get into
trouble, I fall into compulsive and non-productive behavior, into a kind
of darkness.
One percent of the time it has been a peaceful process.
99% percent of the rest, if I choose to resist and to orient the
forces in me, it quickly becomes hell. My symptoms are really hard and
they changed their location in my body as I was opening and cleaning
chakras. Never dedided what was going to happen and where. I do now
experiment tremors (shaking?) in my hands, my arms, my chest and my
throat, and since a week my sinusal cavities are in it to, giving me a
plentyfull of strange facial expressions during my meditations. During
the night I wake and I feel like if I was plugged directly on a high
voltage line, feels like my head is gonna blow. Very spectacular, not
so fun...
Is there a pay for all that disturbance? yes. I am inspired and
amazed at what I create. I do something constructive in my solitude
that I appreciate more and more. I would still prefer a romance and a
very raffined sensual adventure, I don't want to be a saint and I never
wanted it, but I don't decide those things too.
Last year it was in my back, at the level of the heart. Big block
that had to do with an illusion, what else? The rise of the serpent is
for me always a fight against some kind of illusion that want to stay
with me, gently intoxicating me.
Meditation has never been to me a way to find some kind of ecstasy,
I took drugs for that and I learned my lesson well... Life is not a
trip at the club med and the pursuit of illusion is REALLY what is the
most dangerous stuff, far behond the kundalini rising in itself.
My meditation is a listening to subtil signals of my body. I stop
completely the mental level as I go into the little stuff that I feel,
not by my will. The mental stops because the organ signal or the energy
of the chakra fills it, not because I am especially good at it.
For me theese encounters with emotions are endless, but I see
clearly a path in it. I experiment more and more liberty, more and more
creativity. I had cry for hundred of hours, most of the time not
knowing why.
How deep is the subconscious? (that is located for me in every cell
of my body) It his very deep... More than I could never imagine.
Don't know where I am going but I must say that there is an intelligence
in all this process. The intelligence in me is to surrender to this
intelligence and not try to interfere.
Benoit
e19ATnospamusa.net wrote:
> Since beginning the k awakening process 2 months ago, I have been
> wakened from sleep several times only to watch my arms levitate and
> spin in circles. This happens frequently in meditation now, along
> with circular movements of the head. I am told such movements are
> not uncommon, but I'm wondering am I going to able to meditate
> in "peace" anytime soon, or are they going to stick around
> indefinitely? Or even become more intense? It is a bit distracting
> to have my head tossed about when my goal is to have little/no body
> awareness.
>
> Jon
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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